Paternity test questions

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February 23, 2018

I Googled the hell out of this, and could not find anything conclusive. What is the best way to get a paternity test that is accurate for you and your child?

I have even heard of paternity testing people lying to the husband.

I would like to do this without my wife knowing.

Edit: shit,I should have indicated I am in Canada. Great comments so far guys

Post Information
Title Paternity test questions
Author cBIGONE
Upvotes 6
Comments 21
Date 23 February 2018 01:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]98fxstc4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Go to CVS/Walgreens and get the at home test. You mail it off and pay for it. There are some that the results can be used in court.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

After you do that, OP, make sure you come back and tell us the results.

[–]98fxstc12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I say go on Maury

[–]redditJ51 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. There are also kits in Amazon, the two most popular are now the same company and same lab.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shoppers/London drugs

[–]PersaeusRed Beret4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

for the most accurate results you will have to have samples from mother, child, and dad wanna be

couple options on the subterfuge

  • tell em' you're interested in geneology or play the 23andme card (been advertised nonstop lately)

  • if the kids are little swab their mouth while their sleeping. if there older make up some horseshit and tell em to swab.

  • for the wife, wait until she's on her period and swab the pad.

[–]JudgeDoom695 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

tell em' you're interested in geneology

That's brilliant. If the wife wigs out, you have your answer for free.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Meh. Wives will wig out anyway. They will always take it as an accusation of infidelity.

[–]cBIGONE0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Excellent response. She uses a diva cup. Any ideas?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

finger her snatch and wipe it off on the swab

[–]cBIGONE2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Will do a militaristic fingerblasting ASAP

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That a boy

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

23andMe works with a cc of spit that gets centrifuged into a sample.

Swabbing isn't an option for that company.

[–]iwon2342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll add that you can buy identigene test kit online for $9 or CVS for $24. When mailing the DNA samples, you'd need to include money order for $89 or $119 depending on what price you have on your test kit. This price is the lab fee for the test. Goodluck.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hold by his ankle. Throw in river, if he sinks, he's Christian. If not, he's a witch.

Just see if you're a bone marrow donor. Make some scare story about how parents may not be able to save him from cancer, you saw it on CBC.

Or tell her you want a test, and dont buckle when she assumes (rightly) that your trust is not unconditional.

[–]johneyapocalypse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amazon sells them. Swab your cheek. Swab your child's cheek. Send it back. Get the results.

I don't know that it's the best, but it's certainly in the running for easiest.


[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you want something that will hold up in court, take your kid to a lab that does paternity testing and they will swab both you and your alleged child's mouths. They will document the chain of custody of your samples.

This company has locations all over the USA, and the cost is around $200:

If you don't need it to be legally-admissible then the CVS kit is $25.

Let us know how it turns out.

Edit: Either way you can have the results sent to a throwaway email account so your (soon-to-be-ex?) wife will never know

[–]cBIGONE1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the great information. I wipl look for the same thing in Canada.

I don't actually have kids yet, but i am looking into options ahead of time, as I wan't kids as I am redpilled and totally believe AWALT.

[–]98fxstc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Canada or not the amazon option should work.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on the circumstances. If you just want to find out, highly recommended, then just go to walgreens and get the mail in DNA test. Just wait till the kids go to sleep and swab their drool. No need to blow anything up.

If those come back unfavorably, then you need to get a lawyer.

[–]FFDGTDS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

23 and me. You can do it under the guise of genetic testing, heredity and genealogy.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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