Basic Courtesy for the newbie and establishing some frame

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January 16, 2018

This might belong in MRP but as I have relatively few posts I am putting it here for newbies to absorb. This applies to guys who are new to MRP and are looking to assert their frame without going Rambo and totally shocking her. This is how to start to take back the frame that you have handed her for so many years.

Part of frame includes about basic courtesy. Start with some basics like you are sitting watching a movie and she says I'm thirsty. You say "ok", don't jump up to get her a drink. However if you are on your way to the kitchen to get yourself a drink you can offer "I'm going to get myself some water/tea/wine would you like a glass?". Also applies to her ordering you to do something, example you are walking by the sink and she is on the couch - her "get me some water" if she does this treat her like a 5 year old “Wow, did we forget the magic word?” If she responds with a polite “Please” then get it. Any sarcasm or angry answer and you treat her like a child and don’t get her anything. You can continue the condescending humour or if you don’t want WW3 just STFU and ignore the request. She will test you on this either way. This might seem so basic but if you just recently found this place there is a good chance she is not using polite language with you.

The next level is what is she doing for you besides sex? Women innately want to serve men but if you are early in this she likely is not doing much for you. Any time you can think of something you can ask her to do for you do it. Example: she is getting up to get a drink or snack – you “Hey while you are up, grab me a water/beer/apple/etc”. When she brings it you give her a nice polite “thanks” bonus points if you pinch her butt while thanking. As you get more and more advanced you can start to request small favours from her when she is not even up/getting up. Example “Get me a beer please I don’t want to miss the next pitch” Once you are here if she will comply give lots of praise/butt rubs/tickles etc. She gets rewarded by your positive attention. This is how you slowly shift the relationship to a place where you are captain and she is first mate –without blowing things up to get there quickly and giving her all sorts of ammo against you for being an asshole. She may call you can asshole for doing some of these things above but this is where you just smile and say “Thank you”.

Post Information
Title Basic Courtesy for the newbie and establishing some frame
Author dcapt46
Upvotes 11
Comments 12
Date 16 January 2018 08:18 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good call on not posting this on the main sub.

Edit: Read <-- has the guidelines for the main sub.

I imagine the mod's job to be something like: "Lack of quality, delete. Lack of quality, delete. Lack of quality, look at post history, that dude sucks/posts in TBP/clearly a moron, delete. Hey, a post that has quality... HAH HA HAH that dude called him a cactus fucker. Let's keep that one on for a bit. Lack of quality, delete. Violation of rules, delete. "

I bet it ain't all fun and games modding these sub-reddits. I wouldn't want that job.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

without going Rambo and totally shocking her.

Why are you making your goal to boil the frog?

[–]dcapt46[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

How is this boiling the frog? This is setting basic expectations of how she should behave. Polite behavior that just should be from the start and that men should never have stopped expecting. There is no need to blow up the relationship and start the main event because she says "Get me a snack". Just deal with it with an appropriate boundary.

This is simply some examples of how to reset respectful behavior in basic interactions.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read what I quoted of your statement.

You write it as you perceive it

[–]dcapt46[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree the goal of this has nothing to do with shocking her or not. So I removed that part.

Yes I write as I perceive it because earlier in my journey I went Rambo and had to live with that. Not the end of the world but it was longer before she was really saw me as a leader because of it. Too much asshole and you have tingles but also dislike. Appropriate boundaries and respect grows. I found this worked for me as a building block as part of getting my respect back and that is what I am sharing.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You could have stopped the title at "basic courtesy".

I have tried to address the topic of communication myself and all i will say is that i agree that stumbling onto the the RP and MRP does lead one to think they should ditch any sensible form of communication such as those you describe. One has to remember she does not know anything has changed just because you read NMMNG in the toilet.

Reducing the normal forms of communication because MRP says to "STFU" is literally the definition of Autistic.

[–]dcapt46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You could have stopped the title at "basic courtesy".

Good point. Agreed.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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