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OT: Has anybody read Mating in Captivity? Really good read and has a lot of ideas and perspectives on desire/dread/third shadow!

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January 10, 2018
7 upvotes

So I've been reading the side bar and also Mating in Captivity. It has a lot of topics that are covered here with desire, emotions, neediness and all that BP and RP.

The chapter that hit the nail on the head was a chapter about the third shadow. This represents the fact that if there was no one else in the world you would just be together and not a couple. You wouldn't be able to use dread as there would be nowhere to go.

The fact that there are other people in the world and attractive people that can inspire desire such as movie stars and VS models is the missing component when it comes to dread and boundaries.

It mentions that in a relationship it is healthy to like the other to be able to have the freedom to get a tingle (i.e. Get hit on, random guy flirts with her at lunch, etc) but the boundaries shall exist at physical and there should be transparency.

This aspect on RP is giving them enough rope and being STFU/or cocky funny when she tells you about being hit on etc just to get a rise out of you. You would hope your wife is attractive enough to get hit on.

It mentions that it has to go both ways for equality and if somebody is overprotective i.e. (You get jealous when a guy talks to your girl at the bar and fly into a rage) and yet you do the same does not impart dread on her part. There has to be freedom for desire to exist.

I thought I would just recommend the book as it has other topics that I feel are important to RP.


Post Information
Title OT: Has anybody read Mating in Captivity? Really good read and has a lot of ideas and perspectives on desire/dread/third shadow!
Author broneilbro
Upvotes 7
Comments 7
Date 10 January 2018 06:25 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204967
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7phjdq/ot_has_anybody_read_mating_in_captivity_really/
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Comments

[–]SgtSilverBack3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I listened to the audiobook on my drive. It goes to verify alot of the RP praxeology. Be an attractive high value man with your own personality and life that is separate from your marriage so she has room to WANT to chase you.

Everything thing else is helping to understand the theory behind certain personalities.

[–]2ndalRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Esther also has a podcast that is pretty good. Episode 8 is a great example of blue pill marriages and she speaks some MRP truths.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you! I was having issues with jealously and shit like that when it comes to my wife's male friends. She is into the car scene and motorcycles as she rides. I held their actions against her regardless if any boundaries were broken.

Ester talks about that rope needs to be lengthened in order for the freedom to be felt and minimized the desire for said freedom if you control them.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s simple. Let her do what she wants with who she wants when she wants. If it doesn’t work with what you what in a relationship or she crosses a boundary then you show the door.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's it. I feel like an ass because I was so BP and victim puke but I'm recognizing it. We had a talk about me owning my shit and jealously and she was like yeah it's bad. I know it's STFU but acknowledging it leads to owning it.

She called me on my inaction prior to the finding of the RP. She stated I would change for about 2-3 weeks and fall back to the norm. She liked the change but for me I think I was changing just to get laid (beta bux) and when it didn't I bitched out. Her pretty much saying prove it motherfucker was motivating.

I'm working the discipline and it starts with plates and STFU, and following the steps!

Appreciate the help and advice!

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Very good book!

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn right it is BPP. I'm picking up her latest one, State of Affairs, as that I what was the catalyst for me seeking the RP.

My wife and I both had emotional affairs; just big difference in the want, but same trigger: me.

Me: I felt abandoned by my wife since I was enmeshed (NMMNG) and felt I couldn't survive without her and needed external validation and attention elsewhere; argh the victim puke is bad

Hers: She felt such a smothering demand from me that she could not supply.

She felt that for her to be desired and have attention from me it would have strings attached or a demand signal vice just natural flow. She avoided it because I would demand desire and sex like a BP bitch.

Having realized and reflected on it; it makes sense and I'm working owning my shit now that I have recognized it and laying the course of action I will take.

Pain is the greater teacher but the utmost necessary evil...



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