Everyone one of us Fucking New Guys (FNG) found this place while looking for a way to reach a better marriage, a better sex life or something else that validated us. We found a Map in the form of TRP/MRP with only one destination, A BETTER YOU. But we don’t see that, we think we see so many destinations like daily blow jobs, enthusiastic sex, respect ETC……… We don’t realize that those are only the attractions at the one destination.
Many stumble through the sidebar without internalizing it I want to go to Hooters, I see it on the Map and Now I know how to get there. and strike out for the destination we saw on the Map.
I did it for respect, sprinkle Alpha on it, be a bit better in a couple easy areas then got butthurt when she doesn’t respond. It took re-reading NMMNG and realizing that I was able to validate myself, that her disagreeing with me didn't negate my judgement of myself. this allowed me to reflect on my EGO, and follow the direction found in similar posts. BUT I HAD TO DO THE WORK, to not be fearful of the pain that admitting I wasn't all my EGO said I was before I could see the direction I want my life to go.
Here are the problems with not accurately reading the Map of TRP/MRP.
- 1 You don’t know where you are going. By not internalizing the sidebar and doing the work, whether its breaking free activities or just self reflection you have no idea you want a better you instead of my marriage, my sex life.
The FNG posts about a shitty circumstance and the Vets start giving him direction. “She gave you a shit test but you are to deep in her frame to see it as such Turn left at the broken down Dodge “DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO, it helps you validate your own strength and let aggression out instead of puking to your wife” Don’t take the second right, take the Third right, it is right after the HEAVY ASS ROCK. For most FNGs that haven’t begun to internalize it, we post back “Yeah I started telling everyone how its gonna be and she is still a bitch” I took a left at A broken down Chevy not the Dodge “I did cardio this month, and she still wont blow me, she just rolls her eyes and picks up her phone.” I turned right at a big rock, wasn’t that the one?
Until you internalize the side bar and get familiar with the area, NO DIRECTION will make sense. You read cut the EGO and have no idea what that means. You read a comment about being her OAK and think it means telling her how to fix her emotions. You read about Owning your Shit and think it means telling everyone how the new Alpha/Captain you will fix the shit that she fucked up by being bitchy. You where never actually headed in the right direction to the right destination. Eventually if you persist without wrecking your car on that sharp turn that everyone told you to slow down for “RED PILL RAMBO” then you start seeing landmarks that /u/stonepimpletilists pointed out. You see the poor leadership that /u/Thefamilyalpha told you to avoid. You slowly begin to see the one destination of a better you right there in the middle and can now see the “Shit test” broken down dodge and “STFU” HEAVY ASS ROCK. You are now able to start heading in the right direction base upon the vets and sidebar. You will still take wrong turns but you will also know you area heading in the wrong direction and correct it.
- 2 By not knowing where you are, your posts don’t reflect the accurate information for the Vets to help direct you on getting to A BETTER YOU, which you didn’t even know you wanted to reach in the first place.
Many FNGs, Myself included, post about the SHE, HER, THEY, SEX, RESPECT, MONEY. Or in other words where you think you need to go and where you are. That helps no one help you.
When you post with where YOU are “I read NMMNG and realize I don’t feel comfortable doing anything for myself, but I don’t know a hobby that I want to do” I see the dodge you talked about but I’m across the broken bridge, how do I get there? or “I’ve been doing 5/3/1 or BBB and finally lift my own body weight, now I just need to loose fat” or “I read MAP and know the things I want for MY life and I just need help figuring out how to start a business to fulfill my purpose” all of the sudden all the vets can see exactly where you are on the Map of TRP/MRP and help guide you to A BETTER YOU. This is the purpose of OYS, you telling everyone here where you are in relation to you goals. They wont drive you there, none of us are Uber, but you will know how to get from where YOU are to WHERE A BETTER YOU is.
So the next time you lurk and read posts, or post your own event. Realize that you need to know where you want to be before asking directions. You get there from reading the sidebar, lifting and Owning Your SHIT.
Next weeks post will be DIECTIONS: How to avoid the EGO Mountain.
EDIT added some of my own pathfinding.