Trash/Treasure - Beta/Alpha

Floaty_McBoatface · 2017-01-31T13:09:19+00:00

I agree with pretty much all the comments, but I'd like to suggest another possibility. When a woman has decided - consciously or not - to destroy her relationship, she will begin rewriting the past to make it seem like her husband has always sucked, in every way; she might not be able to say a single good thing about him, or remember any happy times. If she's in that stage, pretty much EVERY male she comes across is better than him.

Stay humble for now.

2ndal · 2017-01-27T02:58:21+00:00

^STBXW ⁼ ^soon ^to ^be ^ex ^wife (had to google it)

RPAlternate42 · 2017-01-27T04:18:20+00:00

The SMV isn't as much an absolute scale as it is a relative scale.

She may say you're an 8. Your STBXW may say you're a 5.

Your STBXW knows you and your bullshit (whatever it is) and can weigh that over the years and add it to how she sees the physical you.

New girl sees you as "new" and "interesting."

Don't get to wrapped up in it and consider this: New girl thinks the things STBXW sees are cool while STBXW thinks they aren't (whatever they are.) New girl thinks whatever you have is better than her husbands.

Remember, it's a relative marketplace; new girl is making her valuation of you as compared to her husband, who she seems to not like. You are being compared against the lowest common denominator in her life. It would be different if she said "I wish all the other guys I've been dating and my husband had their shit together like you do." Bigger pool, better relativity.

But then you have to ask yourself, and this is why we berate you into making value for yourself, "am I really that great... or does this chick just date shitty guys?

Then you have to wonder: "Am I one of these shitty guys, but only slightly better."

My point is, make sure you aren't settling on being mediocrity because a girl with suspect life choices thinks you are great. A homeless woman probably thinks you have your shit together too.

So my question to you and everyone reading this: Do you really have your shit together?

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2017-01-27T04:50:32+00:00

You can't take anything she says at face value. She's trying to pick you up (congrats) but the specific things she says are just random compliments.

PurpleVeteran · 2017-01-27T05:26:29+00:00

She begins to point out areas that my STBXW would fault, but this chick thinks are great. I begin to laugh.

This was a third date. She knows only what she's seen of you, whatever lies you've told her, and extrapolated a bunch of the rest. You're new to her, and you're probably on your game, so she doesn't see many of your bad qualities. Now compare that to your ex, who has suffered through your shit for years. She's tired of the same old jokes you tell, she's watched you pick your toes, and knows how funky your breath is in the morning. And there's all this emotional baggage, fights and bad feelings, that your plate doesn't have with you.

In fact, your plate probably feels the same way about her husband. She's getting tingles by (a) being a bad girl (b) getting validation from a stranger, and (c) enjoying new dick. More importantly, you probably have a handful of qualities that contrast with what she has now. She liked him enough to marry him, but still has a thing for tall guys or someone with a beard. And he always follows the same boring pattern when he wants sex.

I mean, flip the script. You like this girl, but what do you know about her bad habits? How much of a bitch is she in the morning, that she leaves dirty dishes in the sink until they smell, and that she sits scrolling FB on her phone for 3 hours every night. If you were married to her instead, maybe you'd be looking outside for excitement or considering divorce as well.

aurelius_shrugs · 2017-01-30T23:01:48+00:00

Christ, you're autistic.

positivevibetech · 2017-01-28T21:29:06+00:00

If I left my woman tomorrow, she'd consider herself alpha widowed. She has no (conscious) clue how much of a worthless sack of crap I have been, and even at her "worst" I know she's been led there by me. She worships me but has an obligation via evolution and social programming to react to my failures because, as has been proven, AWALT.

The kinda-attractive MILF at the grocery store that kept exchanging glances with me last weekend? The one I could barely muster a smile at, didn't say a word to? By about the fifth pass in the aisles, my awkward handling of the energy was semi-uncomfortable for both of us. She had no idea that this was my first attempt at practicing day game, and I SPECIFICALLY went to the store at 9am on a Sunday to practice on EXACTLY this type of woman? To her, I am a beta. A coward.

She wasn't there looking for the thrill of a man setting out on a great, terrifying adventure into unknown territory. She was there to get canned beans and stumbled upon the (unresolved) potential opportunity of making googley eyes and sharing a bond, even if brief, with a new face based on nothing more than the coincidence of shared time and space.

Alphas are the one that got away, so the feels, the dream, regardless of the reality, it never really leaves them. Gone for a lifetime, or gone to the gym, it doesn't matter.

Betas are the one that go away, are dismissible, even if it's just to the other side of the couch for thirty years. That grocery store MILF is more likely to have gone home and done some damage to herself for the pimply bagboy who smiled, engaged, and complemented her selection of celery.

Title	Trash/Treasure - Beta/Alpha
Author	postscript1114
Upvotes	5
Comments	17
Date	January 27, 2017 2:29 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5qemfu/trashtreasure_betaalpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/trashtreasure-betaalpha.206587 https://theredarchive.com/post/206587

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