After just celebrating my 16th wedding anniversary with my wife, it seemed like a good opportunity to do field report.
The custom in my marriage has been to make a big deal out of any anniversary that is a multiple of five. In keeping with that, last year, I booked a trip for me and my wife to go to England, where we used to live, and has a lot of fond memories for us. My marriage was in trouble then. I certainly wasn't an alpha and, truth be told, I kind of sucked as a beta as well and after several hard years with trying to raise 6 kids, 3 of them high risk adoptees, my wife was pretty burned out. She was not attracted to me, in fact I would say that her feelings about me were bordering on disgust.
I thought taking a really nice, romantic, trip might help fix things, but I was sadly mistaken. My wife had recently been making the transition out of being a stay at home mom, to getting her masters degree and re-entering the work force. She seemed to be enjoying the process and being happier, but I could see that her happiness was largely based on not having to be around me. During the whole trip, most of her happy and laughing moments were because a guy in her class was sending her funny messages. She was completely disengaged from me the whole trip, but very engaged with her phone. In the months leading up to the trip, she had been very careful to make sure any time that I was home, she would be out doing something else. On the last day of the trip, I tried to talk to her about what her plans for the future were, and she was hoping for a career where she could be out of town 70 percent of the time. I finally lost my shit and told her I thought she was planning for a life without me.
The conversation did not go well and was a shitty cherry on top of a shitty trip. For the next month, I was in a panic. I could see my marriage slipping away and being the hen pecked little faggot I was having a break down about it. I tried on a number of other occasions that month to try and talk my wife into wanting to work it out, but she did not want to. She was done with me, done with trying and actually said, she would just rather be roommates than my wife. That was bottom for me.
I shared with a coworker and friend that my marriage was pretty close to being over and he listened patiently and then introduced me to TRP. I didn't know much about it at the time, so I started with reading "The Game" and "MMSLP" I started reading the family alpha and the rational male and slowly lights began to turn on in my brain. I began to realize that my approach to being a good husband was fundamentally flawed, that I had my wife up on a pussy pedestal, that I was horrible unattractive. I had to be honest with myself, that I wasn't happy with her either, that I was tired of feeling like a whipped dog and that I wanted more out of marriage than I was getting.
I eventually found this sub and began taking an inventory of what would need to change to be the man that I wanted to be. I decided that if I did the work to be that man and my wife was still disinterested, then I would leave her. I decided to immerse myself in as much writing and information as I could to change my mindset into the kind of man I wanted to be.
I started by joining a crossfit gym. To date, I have lost 25 pounds overall and my doctor says I have put on nearly 15 pounds of muscle. I still have more weight to loose. I am probably between 20 and 25 percent body fat now but I feel a lot better and a lot stronger. I started passing shit tests like a champ. AA and AM became my constant friend. I became fun, flirty and easy going. I started getting a life and having things that I do that don't involve her. I stopped talking to her about my feelings, ever.
Fast Forward to my 16th anniversary. I took her out on a date and made some interesting observations. My wife wanted to go out with me, big improvement over last year. At one point I mentioned that I had some more weight to lose, and she noted that I don't look fat, I look strong. She puts her hands on my arms a lot and leans her head on them. She mentioned that I seem solid, emotionally and unshakable. Sex is at least weekly, not where I want it yet, but better than once every two months a year ago. She asks me what the plans and visions for the future are, comfortable letting me lead the family.
Perhaps my favorite part of the evening was when she commented that being around me makes her feel comfortable and light. I have worked hard to make my frame about being fun and calm. She seems to have confirmed that she is in my frame and likes it there.
Still have a ways to go. Probably another 25 pounds to loose and some career milestones to reach and a lot more fun sexual experiences to be had. But I am happy with the progress. Red Pill works, if you give it time and put in the effort.