Granted I'm currently in the early stages of quitting nicotine + alcohol (cold turkey all the way - just let that mother fucker burn) but after swallowing - fuck it, shoving truckloads of red pills down my mouth, I've been left with a fucking horrible, bitter feeling. I feel ice cold in the very bottom of my soul and I can't help but feel a very deep hatred for this fucked up world.

I go to bed every night furious and wake up in a bad mood. There isn't a single bad word in the English language that can complain of my neglect; every stranger I skulk by is a new canvas for me to mentally paint a creative shit-collage on. I guess it's finally sunk in that the world doesn't.owe.me.shit and I'll only get what I can take by force from it's twisted, decrepit hands.

I've started working out - and made it mandatory that I go to the gym at least 4 times per week. Also I've stopped watching pornography because it makes me feel very emasculated to watch two people jack-hammering while I sit here and crank another lonely load out.

Basically, I'm focusing on myself and trying to improve myself. I'm eating better, all that jazz. I just honestly wonder when the anger phase will pass. I'm sick and tired of feeling pissed off all the time. I honestly don't give a fuck about chasing women, etc... right now. I want to have better control over my emotions so that I can be more productive throughout the day. I want to rise out of poverty and mediocrity and have a wonderful, successful life I can be proud of. I do know that this anger and rage that I feel is holding me back and preventing me from getting the "full picture". I just want some advise on how you folks got past this stage.