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FR: Silent Treatment

Reddit View
September 2, 2016
10 upvotes

Status: Married 12 years. Early in marriage, was a lazy 'drunk captain'. About 3 years ago, went from that to supplicating, wife worshiping beta. It actually improved my life for the first several months, however over the next few years wife slowly lost interest in sex - I assume because I became an orbiter of hers and she eventually lost respect for me.Found MRP about 3 months ago when looking for a way to get her to be more open sexually.I've read the sidebar. Started lifting again about 5 years ago, so that part of TRP is not new to me. I lost 10 lbs this month using Redneck001's calorie counting method (264 down to 254). Shooting for settiling in at 235. I'm probably at dread level 2 right now. I have been mostly working on internalizing that I do what I do - lifting, handling my shit, etc. - for myself, and not for approval or validation. Throughout my beta phase, wife and I spent every second together that we weren't at work. Since finding MRP, I'm intentionally making space. Doing a lot of keeping busy - still lifting, doing projects around the house, building things in the garage, and stepping up my game w/ the kids - usually away from her. Focusing on avoiding idle time (TV, social media scrolling) at home

Generally wife and I get along well, but she has a need to feel 'in charge' when it suits her. (But she does't actually want real responsibility). In terms of interaction with her, since finding MRP, I use a generous amount of STFU when I recognize her tests. Could probably do better if I had better AA or AM skills, but STFU seems to be doing well enough. And thus far, most tests have been pretty minor and easily side-stepped.

My FR today is regarding a recent Silent Treatment....which has always been my wife's go to weapon. This is the type of thing that used to (drunk captain days) happen a lot - and I know she can stick to a silent treatment for weeks. She could probably stick to it for the remainder of her life if I decided to match her. I liked a /u/bluepillprofessor post referring to the futility of trying to withhold sex from a wife as "They can be like camels in the desert". Matching my wife in the silent treatment is the same way. Which is what I used to do as a drunk captain - I'd try and wait her out, then I'd blow up and we'd fight for an hour about the minutia of the initial disagreement.

Sparing the tedious details, this week wife got pissy about my walking away and ignoring her inquisitions about whatever she decided she wanted to micromanage at that moment. First day she went to bed early, and I let her be. The following day when I got home, I made a comment about how 'I don't know what what you're mad about, so if you think you're proving a point, I'm not getting it'. She said that because I've been ignoring her questions lately, she's just going to keep them to herself. After the conversation, I left the house....drove off and just read a book. When I got home I went to bed, she was already asleep.

As this was unfolding, I realized I was fucking it up in typical fashion. I'm trying to out silent treatment her. Beta me would have immediately decided "This isn't worth it" and just placated and apologized to get things back to normal. Drunk Captain me would have tried to blow the whole thing up and argue the finer points of how and why I should not have to answer some of her questions, which questions I should answer, and which I shouldn't.

The following day, I consciously decided to go with the Costanza method and just do the opposite of what I think I should. Mid day, after lifting, I sent her a no shirt selfie and said something like 'even though you've been pissy, I looked so hunky today I couldn't keep it to myself.' That got a semi pleasant response. I was gone for most of the evening, and when I got home we put the kids to bed. I beckoned her to the bedroom and initiated sex. She went with it, but I got the most pathetic starfish session - may have been the worst sex we've had in 5 years. I finished up and just went to bed and she went back out to the kitchen to work. Seemed like an even bigger failure than the prior 2 nights.

Yesterday morning was more of the same - curt logistical conversation. That evening, during dinner, I decide, fuck it - I'm going to carry on like she's not doing it. I carry on with normal conversation with kids and I start in on wife about some things in the local news about her former employer. She starts with short answers, eventually moves toward real answers. I finish eating, give her a small kiss and slap her ass. She immediately offers up "I have lots of work to do tonight, so I don't have time for that."

I move on with my night. Spend some time w/ kids, work on my project in the garage, do some work in my office. After kids are in bed, I read for a bit, then I emerge and beckon her to the BR. (Her starfish session the night before is not dissuading me!). She protests: "I took off my make up already - you hate that!". "My hair is in a wet bun - you don't find this attractive!". "I'm eating black pepper chips - you think those make my breath horrible". Through it all, I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. She - unprovoked - goes into the bathroom, brushes teeth, takes her hair out, and then comes out - "I said I'm not doing this". Push her onto the bed, remove her pants, and go for it. Unfortunately, I'm not quite to the point where battling through these protests lead to her offering up her ass like an ovulating baboon. She "let me" fuck, and kind of smirked through it. I think she's got her own "amused mastery game" - she spent the whole time playfully biting my chest and made comments like "You think you get to do this every day?" and "What is your deal - you are so horny - are you on drugs?" (Next level will be having decent quips as responses to these type of things - for now, I just looked at her dismissively and kept pounding away) It wasn't great sex, but on the bright side, I did fuck on consecutive nights in the middle of her pissy-est week of the last 6 months. Whereas a year ago, I'd have let her fit get to me, and then been extra upset because I'd have been afraid to initiate and therefore sexually frustrated on top of being emotionally frustrated from her silent treatment.

I read these other FRs and they seem to end with the hero passing a shit test, followed by the typically prudish wife dripping wet and gagging herself on his cock and begging him to cum on her face. I'm obviously not there yet. I stumbled through this one to a draw. I think I learned enough to be able to knock it away with force the next time it comes up. I may not have maintained my frame, but I don't think I submitted to hers.

Learned:

  • Don't waste time matching silent treatment. Act as if it's not happening from the beginning

  • Keep on initiating, even on the days that seem least likely to pay off.


Post Information
Title FR: Silent Treatment
Author discobolus_
Upvotes 10
Comments 12
Date 02 September 2016 02:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207142
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/50tjpg/fr_silent_treatment/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
amused masterybetaframeorbitershit testliftgamethe red pillfield report
Comments

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just replace all the shit she said while you were initiating with "Blah blah blah" and hows this play out instead? Read my edits and tell me what this field report would say to you?

then I emerge and beckon her to the BR. (Her starfish session the night before is not dissuading me!). "Blah blah blah". "Blah, blah, blah", "Blah, blah, blah", Through it all, I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. She [at my initiation] goes into the bathroom, brushes teeth, takes her hair out, and then comes out - "Blah Blah Blah". Push her onto the bed, remove her pants, and go for it. Unfortunately, I'm not quite to the point where battling through these protests lead to her offering up her ass like an ovulating baboon. I fucked her and she kind of smirked through it. I think she's got her own "amused mastery game" - she spent the whole time playfully biting my chest and made comments like "Blah blah blah?" and "blah blah blah" .... I just looked at her dismissively and kept pounding away)

So you got laid? Well fuck if I were to tell you to watch her actions and not her words how would this story play out in your head? Women spew shit from their mouths to work through problems not because they mean what they say. A user said on here, "The problem is a rock, and they use words to wear it away." (Wish I remembered who...).

She had a cognitive dissonance. Her brain said "Don't fuck him, we're being pissy" but her lizard brain said "Yes fuck!". Lizard brain won. You won.

Bonus points, take it to SGM level next time when she's being like that, give her emotion while you fuck her, any emotion. "Yeah well your pussy says you are. Anytime you want to be a bitch I'll be happy to fuck it out of you." Be incendiary, be outrageous, because emotion counts, any emotion.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Took a few others fucking this one up. Nice to see guys getting the hint on this.

I'd argue your second lesson, with expectations of it not paying off

Killing that fear of rejection is a powerful part of knocking that pussy off a pedistal

[–]R3D_Dread_Rover1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's tempting to "Spinkle a little Alpha on it" in these first few months, but you have a clear understanding of where you are and what still needs work. Thanks for the FR

[–]onmyownpath1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good job. The faggot is dying.

As you progress, you may find that actively overcoming the silent treatment will be an option. You may not be there yet.

When my wife goes silent, I escalate the teasing, jokes, ass slapping, groping, and in general giving her shit. Sometimes it makes her absolutely furious but my frame is in a place that I deal with the fury properly. You may not be at that point yet but it might be safe to tease a little bit next time she goes silent.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's not bad.

It'd be interesting if you went through it and figured out what parts of this FR were actually important - that'd offer some contrast to how much of your thought process is wasted.

[–]Yzerman_190 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What kind of shape are you in?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aka draw her into your pleasant affirming frame and out of her bitchy nasty frame NOT by talking but by showing what a good attitude looks like. Gratz.

[–]KyfhoMyoba0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Silent treatment is your opportunity to have some uninterrupted time for self improvement (lifting, manly stuff around the house, other personal projects, reading, etc.) and Dread Game escalation.

I would specifically (study and) implement Amused Mastery and Outcome Independence. Stay busy. This is how you out-silent her. Cultivate Amused Mastery. This is how you avoid the appearance of butthurtedness. Maintain your Frame at all costs to your self. Her threats to your Frame will be subtle and wise. You must be wiser.



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