I occasionally get asked variants of "are you happy (in general) (with me) (with our marriage)?" but a few times it has been "do you want a divorce?".

Now I'm sure any talk of divorce means the boat has holes, but it's her asking me and not telling me, so I don't think the boat is sunk yet. Obviously she's thought of it, but probably not decided on it yet.

"Are you happy?" I see as a shit test. "Yep, I've got something fun planned for later/this weekend/with the boys" works as a response. She never asks this when she's happy, so she's expecting her negativity will be dragging me down. But it's not.

But "do you want a divorce?" normally comes after I've done something like go out with friends.

Is this a compliance test, to see if I'll stop my behavior under threat she'll leave me? If so "I wasn't planning on it, but if that's what you want, I'll go call that cute girl that we met tonight at the bar".

If this is a comfort test, that would be the exact wrong thing to say. A simple "I love you" and then change the subject would work much better.

What do you say?