Hi guys, kinda new to all this. But it's funny, I feel like deep down I've always been RP... now it's time to figure out how to strip out all the artificial bp crap I've taken aboard.
And this brings me to my question: wife will be having dinner with a former co worker of hers. I barely know the guy and on paper, he comes of as a goofy loser. But as my eyes have been opening two things, I think he might be more of an alpha Buddha "free spirit" type.
As I think about it, Im not down with this dinner they have planned. But because I only rarely hear from him and have always been cool with her other male friends (who have always been mutual friends) I'm afraid I'll fuck things up by suddenly "getting paranoid" about this guy.
Anyway, from looking at her phone once I knew is that they mentioned getting food at some point. So, my plan was to wait for it to happen and just invite myself along and AMOG. Or, if she got weird about it, then deal with that situation (confident that there's no regular contact between them either, btw... maybe once every 9 months? )
Anyway, on Tuesday my boss decides to send my out of town for a night to a conference. I text my wife later to tell her that I'll be away but say, "ditch work and come with." I get back a "Yes!" but a minute later she says, "crap, I have to meet with Boss and Bosses Boss... and then i was gonna grab dinner with Guy Friend."
Fuck. My chance to AMOG is shot. But I just text back "haha have fun with Boss!" totally ignoring the mention of Guy Friend.
But since then my mind has been racing. Is Guy Friend a threat? Have I been too BP in this marriage? Is feeling threatened BP? Should I just "share my feelings" about this with her?
Fun fact, she's newly pregnant... as in, she took a home test the day before all this it was positive.... just days before it was negative. This was all planned and I'm thrilled. And no, I have total confidence that is mine since we spent December in the remote mountains with my family.
Anyway, my brain says to try to be, or at least appear to be, DGAF about the whole thing. And just focus on the future , career and continuing to lift. But can you DGAF too much? The anxious/nervous part of me is saying, "you gotta do this now!" Is that beta just conditioning or something more?