How much dread is too much?

stonepimpletilists · 2015-12-01T18:31:55+00:00

I doubt you're at 8.

You're dressing well, handling fitness tests, gamed your wife, then tried gaming others, and now gaming girls in front of her? If you are at 8, you're basically already close to nuclear (I believe 'fuck me or fuck you' is the next step)

As for how much is too much, you're clearly doing it for her. And thats not the point. This is like an escalation of force. you keep doing these higher SMV things in your life, and she either responds to them and attempts mate-retaining behavior (sex, bjs, et, no rejections) or you continue to dread her out of your life.

So lets hit the basics, since you haven't mentioned any of them.

Are you lifting? Whats your body composition like (and please, don't compare your SMVs)
What is it you're actually missing from your life? Sex? Respect? taking control back from a controlling woman?
What have you read from the sidebar, have you read BPPs 12 levels? Read it again.

And go through them one by one, lets have an honest assessment of each, since I'm not sure you're actually doing them.

But to answer your question, the only reason to back off dread is because she is more receptive to you sexually (where you stay at passive dread 4-5 now), or your frame sucks, and you aren't ready to move past 1 yet.

Countpudyoola · 2015-12-01T18:42:55+00:00

One way to look at it: It's better for her to wonder what you're up to than the other way around. And if you think she may have strayed in the past, keep her busy with trying to keep up with you.

The dread ladder is actually more of a yes/no flowsheet.

Is 1 working and getting what you want? No? Continue to 2. Is 2 working and getting what you want? No? Continue to 3. 3 Works. Does dropping back to 2 net an increase of shit tests or decrease in sex? Back up to 3. Ad nauseum. A lot of the lower levels can be grouped but you get the idea.

And it's laid out like ladder to get you started, but it's really just training you to be a man and live like one. I can't even remember what all the ladder steps are anymore. You just DO what you need to do.

But honestly , there's never such a thing of being too-in shape. Dressing TOO well. Being TOO successful at work or maintaining an O.I. group of hobbies and friends. Stop worrying about her worry. Let her do that.

When you're happy and getting what you want out of life (and by consequence your marriage) then stop and look around and see if you've overshot.

its-iceman · 2015-12-01T19:27:56+00:00

How long did you take to get from 0 to 8?

Scurvemuch · 2015-12-01T20:26:49+00:00

Direct answer -

Too much dread is when she leaves because despite doing " everything she can" she "sees no choice " but to " shut down " or "withdraw " because she "isn't good enough for you"

If you are at a point where your precious lil flower is so wrapped up in self pity because you have not been rewarding good behavior it may be too much.

Mine broke down on the floor crying to me that she can't do anything right a few months ago. Don't let it get there. I was angrier than I thought and was a rock instead of an oak.

Think on it

UEMcGill · 2015-12-01T20:28:48+00:00

How much dread is too much? The wife has started to question my whereabouts. She did not ask questions directly but while complaining about me being late for dinner (shit test), her hamster let slip that she was questioning what I'm doing and whom I'm doing it with. She was not direct with these questions and I did not answer them. She slipped the questions in while complaining that I was rude for being late, not calling.

These are still in the realm of "Shit test" not "Comfort test". When you hear "I feel like you don't [value, need, love, want] me" it's starting to affect her. When it's too much for her to handle you'll know it for sure.

When she comes to you using real overt language, it's hit her like a ton of bricks. My wife came to me, crying. She told me she didn't want to loose me, didn't want to be divorced, and understood the problems were on her. She didn't mince words, or try to gaslight. She was clear and direct. This was a dread level 9 event.

exbp · 2015-12-01T21:05:02+00:00

I'd say if she slips up and lets some of her fear into the conversation then you're just hitting your dread stride. I want her checking my phone, I want her wondering what I'm up to and with whom. Those things show she believes I could be cheating. I'd say keep doing what you're doing and watch what happens.

But I also want her to find nothing when she checks up, with no more information to act on she can only turn inward. And now she's considering her own position in life, how she treats me, what she could do different, etc.

And I also don't want to be rude so I communicate enough logistics to be reasonable.

theultmatecad · 2015-12-02T00:14:35+00:00

You mentioned her curiosity is peaked but what about sex? On the rise? Is she being sweeter and more submissive?

You don't dial back dread because she is suspicious or sad or really anything to do with her feels. You dial it back because the relationship is improving to where you want it to be

BluepillProfessor · 2015-12-02T03:14:04+00:00

Maintain the dread and build it but there is no hurry. Dread Level 5 is a normal, happy, healthy relationship. If you can stay there without learning the whole PUA routine then do it!

If not, are you seducing your wife? That is Dread Level 6. Dread level 7 is when you start practicing with randoms and I seriously doubt you are at that point! Your wife is noticing. NOW is the time to ramp up the sex.

Instigate, Isolate, Escalate. Your word for the day is "Legs." Now go out and spread the word.

Sepean · 2015-12-02T10:51:16+00:00

Let's break the higher levels of dread down.

First there's the good dread: you're sexually attracted to other girls and other girls are sexually attracted to you. This demonstrates many alpha traits like a healthy sex drive, a lack of oneitis, a high SMV. These are all good things. Think of them like the carrot, it is always good to dangle that in front of the donkey. Of course don't go overboard in trying to shove it into her face, that just comes off as weak; be natural and subtle about it but don't be afraid that she sees or knows these things.

Then there's bad dread: That she actually suspects that you are fucking or are about to fuck other girls. This is the stick. If you're using that it is because she's fucked up big time and she needs to make amends.

I had to deal with something like what you're describing and inspired by /u/whinemoreplease I told her that if I was actually going to fuck other girls I'd tell her first. She took offense at it at first (a sarcastic "gee thanks, you'll tell me first, that makes it all ok"), but it seemed to work.

I have never backed down from the fact that I'd like to fuck other girls, but that doesn't mean I lack the self control to keep my dick in my pants when I have my little sex kitten at home.

Careful with the wording and tone if you talk to her about this. You're skirting pussy-drought territory. Keep it to a minimum, and anything about her sex kittiness has be avoided or kept cocky/funny and not in any way sound like you're negotiating that she's sexy and you're faithful. The nuances between that and the natural consequences of where your sex drive will take you if you're not satisfied are hair fine.

Title	How much dread is too much?
Author	Buddha8Jesus
Upvotes	2
Comments	24
Date	December 1, 2015 6:00 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3v0xi3/how_much_dread_is_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-much-dread-is-too-much.207852 https://theredarchive.com/post/207852

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