My husband has been dealing with some issues at work, and it's been taking ALL his mental energy. I know his workplace and co-workers and I know see that this is not his fault: it's a clash between his independent style and the workplace culture. But this has come up before and will come up again and I'm a little annoyed that he always seems surprised by it.

So this is the issue. He has been putting tons of mental energy into dealing with this. I told him once what I think (that he should leave and get a different job; he is highly respected in his field and could easily do this) and since then I haven't given him my opinion; i figure it's his issue and he needs to deal with it.

But I am getting resentful because he's been more absent minded around the house and I feel like I'm picking up a lot of slack. He still plays with the kids but he isn't helping enforce rules and he is also leaving lots of messes which I tidy up later. I feel petty talking about this but it's annoying. And I'm the one making sure kids brush teeth, bathe, do their chores, get fresh air, etc. His head is not in the game.

What really annoys me is that he doesn't even realize all this. I could deal with picking up his slack if he'd say, hey, thanks so much for holding down the fort while I handle this work stuff but in fact, he doesn't realize that I'm holding down the fort. He is just so totally focused on his work issue that he has forgotten there's anything else to worry about in the world.

So my question is, should I be talking to him about this? It's been a few weeks now and I've mostly just tried to be gentle and make things easy on him. But I feel resentful.

Opinions are welcome!!