Last night, my husband and I went to visit some friends who have been going through some very serious medical issues. The wife really shouldn't be left alone now, so we agreed I should stay later while her husband took care of something. I had forgotten to bring something I'm supposed to take with the medication I'm currently taking, so I didn't want to eat until I got home.
I finally left after 10pm, and battled myself for 30 minutes before fighting the urge to break my highly restrictive diet (related to the health issues that prompted the medication). When I finally got home, I was starving and focused on making myself the food I needed and taking my medication. I was also really sad about my friend, and I ended up watching TV on the couch to get my mind off things. Around 1am, my husband woke up and was very upset that I didn't come in to cuddle with him. He had asked me to come in to bed before he left our friends' place, but he didn't specify when.
We've had this fight before. He used to snore so loudly that I couldn't sleep in the same bed at him at all (although I made sure this didn't negatively impact our sex life). After he finally got a CPAP machine, I have been able to sleep in the same bed with him. However my condition has gotten worse - I sometimes have severe insomnia and as a result, end up falling asleep on the couch at 3am 2-3x a week. The next morning, I'll generally come in and cuddle with him around the time he wakes up. He still complains about it all the time, as though the problem is that I just don't like sleeping with him. He says that he wakes up in a panic if I'm not there beside him. I had offered to text him, but he said that's not enough because he feels that I'm not next to him. I generally don't want to go into the bedroom until I'm feeling tired. Because my sleep schedule is slightly later than his, I often end up laying in bed not able to do anything for several hours if I go in before I'm ready. I hate it.
Back to last night - I ended up going into bed with him after he woke up. Then in the morning, he started complaining about it again. As he did it, he sounded exactly like his mother, whining about how he gets extremely worried about me if I'm not there. Never mind that all he has to do is get up, walk 20 feet and see that I'm awake. I apologized for not texting when I got home, but explained how starving I was. After all of this, he then wanted to have sex. I told him that it's hard to feel attracted to someone who feels like an overbearing mother. He stopped and then displayed some more attractive alpha behavior. Eventually I acquiesced and we had sex, but it was painful for me because I wasn't really aroused.
Was I too harsh in comparing him to his mother? Is there a better RPW way to deliver this type of feedback?
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