This is my little field report about something I feel I made the right choices over recently, but thought might be helpful for people who maybe get stuck in the same mindset as me sometimes.

On monday night, I got a text from a lady used to know from my prenatal class, saying they were doing a reunion and would I like to come?

My dilemma was that I really didn't want to go, but I didn't want to offend Jen, who was doing a nice thing. We were never super good friends or hung out together much because we had little in common, but I still felt really really guilty about not wanting to go.

The ladies at my prenatal class were all several years older than me, very much career focussed and hypercompetitive, and I simply hated hanging out with them once I had my baby because of all that. I ended up going sometimes out of feeling like I didn't want to offend people and trying to be nice.

I felt obligated to say yes or make an excuse about the reunion because I didn't want to offend anyone. Trying to be polite and nice was forcing me towards something both me and my daughter would likely hate!

However, I overrode the instinct to lie and make excuses, and simply text back I wouldn't be coming because I didn't get on with any of the other girls and wouldn't enjoy it. I told hubs after I'd written the text just to check he agreed, and he smiled and said he was proud of me for standing up for myself, and he would have advised against me going in any case.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can be feminine, polite and ladylike (mostly!), but not allow that to let others push you around or end up doing things you hate because of that! My husband has really helped me with his confidence, and any other ladies who maybe are a bit easily pushed about should talk to their SO if they need a bit of a push to be able to just say NO sometimes!