Recently a column was published in an Australian newspaper regarding men feeling "extraneous" in a family. The author, treading the line of political correctness, talked about how men have lost their place in the family, and that this is partly due to a lack of manual skills, which are no longer passed down from father to son.

I think that all RPW realise that this is not the only reason why many men are unhappy in family life today. However I would like to share with you a few of the replies to the column. Normally, opinion pieces would receive some affirmative and some negative responses. However, all the responses published to this particular article agreed with the author, and generally went further in their explanations of why masculinity has become devalued.

One woman mentioned that Scouts is a valid way for kids to access traditional, outdoor and hands-on activities that are generally missing in the education and lives of young boys today.

Another said:

We've been mocking and dismantling masculinity for some time. In classic texts, now relegated to vacant, obsolete libraries, we read of courageous and brave men, unashamedly strong blokes who were honoured to "take care of stuff". But now the words of CS Lewis ring in my ears: "We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst." No, we are not teaching them to be men. We are not allowed.

I think this is powerful, coming from a woman. She is obviously discontent with the politically correct "ban" on gender roles, and masculine roles in general.

Another woman talks about her mother-in-law referring to "proper" men as men who were capable in traditionally masculine roles!

This last letter, though, really struck home for me.

All of my mates cook, clean and help care for the kids. We toil for our families both at work and at home. We change nappies, light bulbs and oil filters, and bring home flowers. In spite of all this, we're still an afterthought, until the vet bill comes in or something else needs fixing. Not many are talking about this as a social issue, but the men I know are tired of being treated this way.

If my husband wrote this letter to a national publication, I would be wrecked and heartbroken. Yet I can so easily see how men "fit in" to women's "perfect" lifestyles. They are expected to do half the housework, when many work 3 times the hours outside of the home. They provide financially and emotionally, and yet would be mocked for being financially or emotionally dependent. They are useful, needed, but not needed in the way they wish to be. They are, as this writer so succinctly put it, an "afterthought".

So, ladies of RPW, I have a couple of questions for you. How do you set up your lives so that your SO is more than an afterthought? When you have children/if you already have children, how will this dynamic change? And lastly, how are you planning teaching or how have you taught your sons and daughters to navigate this strange, upside down society where masculinity is devalued and men are disempowered?