Polygamy?

rocknrollchuck · 2020-09-06T01:13:05+00:00

Mod note: I'm allowing this post because I see this as an opportunity. I believe this is a teachable moment. Obviously we do not endorse polygamy on RPChristians. Let's address the issues in the comments. I'm sure there are others out there asking these questions too.

Deep_Strength · 2020-09-05T04:59:13+00:00

I guess I’m looking for a biblical justification to this being okay.

It's not.

The Bible is not anti-polygyny but neither is it pro-polygyny. Most of the cases are there in extenuating circumstances (e.g. kinsman redeemer, war, etc.). It will most assuredly kill your Christian witness not to mention the fact that it's illegal the last time I checked.

Christians are first and foremost to be about Christ's mission. Your OP is only about your own selfishness including pre-marital sex and cohabitation.

You need to decide whether you want to wholeheartedly follow Christ or reject Him. Then take steps to do whatever conclusion you come to.

RedPillWonder · 2020-09-05T08:05:00+00:00

We have a previous side girl, who lives with her new loser bf (no job, they live in a condemned house, etc) that we could hypothetically move into our finished basement with her and her kid.

I guess I’m looking for a biblical justification to this being okay.

God doesn't condemn polygny, and tacitly seems to allow it, but scripture is clear God's ideal is one man with one woman, united in a covenant relationship/marriage.

IF one pursued polygny, it is understood you are taking on a second wife or a concubine, for which you are responsible for her provision, conjugal rights, etc.

This isn't a "come and go" or "we'll see how it works out" type of thing, but a lifelong obligation you're committing to.

So any new woman you take on, it's for life. And she should understand the same, that she would be entering a relationship with the requisite expectations, obligations and commitment.

It is also understood that any new woman would very likely be a virgin. Unless you're marrying a widow or some other rare biblical situation.

For your current situation, the answer is no, there is no biblical justification.

I encourage you to seek the Lord, set your heart on Him and do not look back. Make a commitment that it's Him, above all else, and nothing will change that, come what may. Even if it means losing everything.

With this said, God does provide. To specifically address sexual pleasure, we have 1 Corinthians 7, various Proverbs, Song of Solomon and others.

When two people are set in their ways for God and each other, they make themselves sexually available to one another (any time of refraining should be very rare and for legitimate reasons), they play and experiment and engage in every form of sexual pleasure they desire (as long as it doesn't violate scripture).

Any need for multiple wives and concubines shouldn't be necessary, and it moves away from God's ideal and standard that He established at the beginning of creation, and holds to this day.

God tells us "the pleasures of sin are for a season" and I believe this principle is applicable and extends to your situation. God recognizes reality. It is pleasurable to engage in certain acts. A man may find threesomes exceedingly enjoyable, and think anything else cannot compare.

"There is a way which seems right unto a man, but the end thereof is death."

Note God says "for a season" in the above verse.

That can vary from person to person, and from situation to situation, as to how long it lasts, but when the season passes, it's done. What was so pleasurable before may not be as much later, if at all.

Solomon was in your shoes, multiplied many times over.

He has 700 wives and 300 concubines. Women galore. He withheld nothing from his heart and sought out pleasure of all sorts.

"All is vanity" was his conclusion.

This doesn't mean sexual pleasure isn't to be had, but it's to be immensely enjoyed within God's parameters that He lays out in His Word.

As I've written before, do you think God has a good grasp of human psychology? Of male and female natures? Of sexuality, in all of it's forms and expressions?

And do you think that God is like "I'm saving the best for the heathens who like to run rampant and enjoy debauchery of every sort, and get into all kinds of sexual escapades? And My people, they'll get some, but they won't get anywhere near the pleasure the ungodly will enjoy?

Or do you think it's more likely God gives His best to those He loves and who faithfully serve Him?

That while it may not make sense to us ("like how can one woman be better than two or twenty or however many?") the truth is that not only can it be, it often is when we follow His Word to the letter, to the best of our ability.

The problem is many people don't. Women deny their husbands (and sometimes vice versa), spouse's don't give each other their best, society "squeezes" you in every way, making it harder for a man to live for God or to enjoy life's pleasures, all kinds of things, and sometimes men look for outlets of various kinds, including sexually, to fulfill needs and desires and go their own way in this world.

Again, seek the Lord. Put Him first. Let God direct your paths.

You'll find He does a far better job than you ever could, including providing sexual pleasure with a woman who is a great match for you.

Use discernment and common sense. Vet well. Be firm in your faith and what you believe in all things. And live accordingly. You'll do well.

Praexology · 2020-09-05T04:57:16+00:00

If you are looking for a justification, you're already off on the wrong foot.

Are you looking for real Biblical advice, or advice that will allow you to live in spiritual complacency? Mind you, Biblical advice will likely require you to make major changes in your lifestyle.

ENTPunisher · 2020-09-05T22:07:01+00:00

Step 1: Right now you're unsaved. It's time to believe in the true gospel, whereby we are saved by grace through faith in Christ. You can't lose your salvation.

Step 2: Stop shagging women outside of marriage. Right now you're like a possum shrieking when someone lifts up the trash can and shines a light in its face. Any Christian who lives in fornication is a blue-pilled simp because they are putting p*ssy so high on a pedestal that it ranks above God.

PimPedOutGeese · 2020-09-05T12:51:58+00:00

So I’ll be the outlier here...

I don’t believe true polygamy is wrong biblically.... That said biblically you probably shouldn’t.... and the proof is showing itself now.

1 Cor 7 is a warning as to why you should be with one man/woman. It has the potential to open the door to sexual immorality. I don’t believe you’re married... so there’s an issue. But let’s assume you were.

Now you are fornicating with other women. Just because your wife says it’s ok doesn’t give you a pass biblically. Sexual immorality AND fornication. Lose lose.

What a person who wants to be involved in polygamy and Christianity needs to understand is that if he/she wants to do it “right” then there should be refrain from sex until marriage with all partners.

Some RP thoughts.... this is all a mistake lol.

You have a blended family.... which means you took in a single mom with kids. You want to bring in ANOTHER single mom with kids. I’m just gonna say it you look like capn save em.

The threesome thing is fun sure but its absolutely overrated. And it’s basically, eventually, giving her permission to sleep with other men and expects your blessing in doing so... And maybe you’re ok with it or maybe you’re not I don’t know but it’s a real issue.

Most importantly you really need to consider the children and how they’re lives will most be affected by this or you could have lil Johnny buying/selling dope on the corner or lil Suzy selling things other than dope on the same corner.

Also in your situation ~~I probably wouldn’t get married.~~ Get a private marriage. That way you’re no longer fornicating. I wouldn’t get a “traditional” marriage. Those threesomes will stop and she will want to leave with half your assets.

Proverbs_31_2-3 · 2020-09-05T07:55:55+00:00

Your biggest problem in this thread is that you're in fear of burning in hell. You need to repent of your sins, whatever they are, ask God for forgiveness, and trust in Jesus Christ to save you. He becomes your King, you become His servant, and you do what He tells you to do.

Your second problem isn't polygamy. It's that you and your first woman have been using and discarding girls who are made in the image of God. You haven't taken them under your protection. You haven't made a covenantal bond with them before God and community. That simply boils down to "fornication", and fornicators will not enter the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

So stop fornicating, side pieces, whatever you want to call them, be washed by Jesus' forgiveness, and start following Jesus.

Your third problem is you don't seem to have promised a lifelong, covenantal relationship to your first woman. So you need to fix that.

Your first woman also doesn't want the kids to know. That should tell you something. Here's the passage that follows the famous verse John 3:16. John 3:16-21. Are you hiding from your kids because you know or think that it is evil?

16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. 21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

So get your household in order. Maybe someday a time will come when you can reflect on Martin Luther's advice and decide what is good for you:

“I confess that I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict the Scripture. If a man wishes to marry more than one wife he should be asked whether he is satisfied in his conscience that he may do so in accordance with the Word of God. In such a case the civil authority has nothing to do in the matter.”

Letter to Chancellor Gregory Bruck, January 13, 1524

Right now, it doesn't sound like you are "satisfied in your conscience" so I would steer clear.

2020-09-06T04:21:03+00:00

There is absolutely no Biblical justification for this. Listen to way you describe her: "side girl", " side piece".

You can't justify polygamy, let alone living in and having relations with one woman who is not your wife (Ephesians 5:3). Marriage is prescribed by God as being between one man and one woman. All the verses in the Bible regarding polygamy are descriptive and not prescriptive.

Go to church, confess your sins to God and your pastor, and receive Christ's absolution through His blood.

NoFaithInThisSub · 2020-09-06T13:09:14+00:00

work off this principle:

"If died after reading this comment, where would I end up?" (i'll help you out, it's called hell).

Repent, believe the REAL JESUS in your heart, not the mormon fake Jesus, and find a good Bible believing church to start learning the basics of real Christianity. Either do it God's way or the devils (which is what you are doing anyways).

I deeply believed in Christ and salvation when I was younger,

Demons also believe in God, and they Shudder (James 4?)

I pray you will receive salvation. souls are important. you have a long way to go.

The_Golden_Leaf · 2020-09-11T22:07:58+00:00

I have read every post on this thread, and all I can say is - you are not in any way a prize, dude.

RedPillGlasses · 2020-09-21T17:25:47+00:00

[deleted]

leseera · 2020-09-05T06:38:23+00:00

Polygamy is not justified in scripture. Here's a 10 min video from Mike Winger that goes into the topic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSQdSZbu1JY

Willow-girl · 2020-09-05T13:28:14+00:00

as long as I can be the queen,

This-right-here is gonna be a problem! Few side chicks will be context to remain side chicks ... there is almost always a power struggle eventually. And a man's pair bonding naturally transfers to the woman he's most recently sleeping with, so the wife is generally the one to lose ground and to not take this lying down.

Does this sound like your idea of a good time?

RedPillGlasses · 2020-09-06T15:04:23+00:00

On the off chance most of you are still following this, the link below wraps up my feelings pretty well.

In essence, I should “seek ye first the kingdom of God” and then if I truly feel God is blessing me with a wife AND a concubine, then I cherish, love and lead them in the best Christian way possible.

https://www.neverthirsty.org/bible-qa/qa-archives/question/2-samuel-128-sauls-wives/

Title	Polygamy?
Author	RedPillGlasses
Upvotes	0
Comments	67
Date	September 5, 2020 4:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/imv035/polygamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/polygamy.215031 https://theredarchive.com/post/215031