How to stop being terrified of girls

FereallyRed · 2019-02-08T05:34:27+00:00

Just remember that they’re human too. The most intimidating and beautiful girl you can think of probably worries about her nose being too big or her vagina smelling bad.

Practice talking with women you don’t care about to build confidence. Maybe start with the old lady working at Walgreens, the nontrad middle aged lady in your class, then a fat chick your age, and so on.

You really don’t have anything to lose by asking them out. You won’t see most of them again after graduating and they don’t make very good friends so there’s no point in not wanting to “ruin your friendship” or whatever.

checkmarks26 · 2019-02-08T06:15:12+00:00

You’re not scared of women, you’re scared of rejection. Best way to combat fear of rejection is to mould yourself into something that you personally believe is of value to people.

For some people, hitting the gym and improving physical attraction is enough. Maybe you need to improve your living conditions, or your salary, or maybe you need to start a new hobby you are interested in. When you truly believe you or your life is awesome, people take note, and they want to be included.

This is my opinion and might only be one way to look at it.

cilantromakesmepuke · 2019-02-08T06:15:10+00:00

Ok, this is a bit odd, so it will just be lost among the "lift more, bro" advice. Hence, please do not take it as an advice, but a simple story coming from a much older mate.

Until I was 23 yo, I was literally shitting my pants whenever I would speak with a woman in a possible romantic context. My subconscious self would probably consider me unworthy and even the faintest possibility of rejection would make my bowels revolt, no idea what the fuck was happening there in my head. Same like you, I had a little frame, 5'7" sporty and a nice face, so even though I was short, I had plenty of interest from girls. The moment I was opening my mouth, boom, my trembling, terrified voice would ruin everything.

One day I saw a book written by a psychologist about self hypnosis. i bought it and tried his technique for a week or so. My life has changed starting with that week. No idea how, but through suggestion, somehow that shitty part of my brain has been just rewired.

I don't precisely remember the technique, but was starting with some kind of yoga deep relaxation, laying down and relaxing the body from the toes, step by step, limb by limb, finishing with the top of the head. After that, the attention was focused on the breath, to become deeper and softer. When I was totally relaxed, I had to repeat the suggestion to my subconscious, just a concise positive sentence, something like "I am courageous and I feel relaxed and happy when I speak with women". No negations in that sentence, everything positive.

That worked like magic and now 20 years and 60+ notches (before Tinder era), I still don't give a fuck when I flirt with a 20yo model. (Of course she rolls her eyes, cause I'm old and not millionaire, but it's nice not to shit my pants anymore).

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-02-08T06:57:25+00:00

Username strongly suggests this is serious question.

person8445 · 2019-02-08T07:32:22+00:00

Approach men. Then old ugly women. And then more attractive women.

_thechinaman_ · 2019-02-08T05:57:44+00:00

Did you ever ask yourself why you are afraid of women?

LongDongLondonDon · 2019-02-08T07:43:14+00:00

Easiest way: talk to them. Talk to any girl, ugly or attractive, tall or short. Not even cold approaching, literally just have a conversation with a female to start off with. Then have another one with another female. You'll soon realise that there genuinely is nothing about women to be afraid of.

The most potent way to deal with any problem is to get to the root of it. So determine precisely why you're scared of women, and then work from there. Probably you're scared of rejection.

Also, your height isn't an excuse. I'm a short dude and it's never stopped me. Nor has it stopped Lil Wayne, Kevin Hart, Bruno Mars, Kendrick Lamar etc.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-02-08T10:43:41+00:00

It's just bluepill conditioning. None of what your head tells you is true.

You just have to build your frame. It takes a while to swallow red pill principles. Abundance, prize, idgaf and outcome independence. Slowly, they become internalized.

The main thing that has helped me, is a feeling of STATUS! I have higher status than everyone in the fucking room...and especially 5 year old women. I seriously am the prize. I DO NOT give a fuck about bluepill, society or feminism. I DO NOT give a fuck about their approval. I am outcome independent. As long as I'm approaching, any outcome is good.

Rejection is beautiful, fun. I know I have abundance, and I learnt to see rejection as a chance to adjust my game if I feel like it, I have momentum and confidence, and like I have my balls.

It takes a while, mate...but the first thing for me was really changing my thinking and core beliefs. The main thing about unplugging isn't getting women, it's totally undoing the brain washing blue pill did to you.

Honestly, women's value are far below men. It's just...fact. That HB 9? All she has is her looks, and she'll either get fucked by the carousel, get used and abused, end up an attention whore. Or she'll do the 'I don't need a man' route, but end up hitting the wall, freaking out and begging for a man.

In the mean time, we can age fucking awesomely, always have innate status, logic, stoicism, ability to make shit happen and just get better. Truly...YOU are the prize. It's ok to walk with just enough sense of your own inner brilliance. Little cocky, little arrogant, huge confidence. Once you internalise this stuff, a lot of how you treat women will be organic.

BurntYams · 2019-02-09T23:33:12+00:00

dude I’m 5’4” and i’m currently dicking down a 6ft pole vaulter/dancer (straight HB8-9) and has beta orbiters like you wouldn’t believe. she gave me ONE shit test about my height, responded w “I’ll look taller when you’re on your knee’s”, fucked on the 3rd date, she stuck around, and she never said anything about my height ever again. anyways, my point is, I believe that I am the shit and that my height isn’t a handicap, so the girls I attract also believe that. It’s all in your head.

Johnnybeachboy · 2019-02-08T08:08:53+00:00

I remember when I was walking to a bar from another bar on a Saturday night and this gorgeous woman walked by me and asked me if she had anything in her teeth. I made a joke about myself having an anterior open bite and being unable to eat spahgetti easily. She told me she had one of those huge retainers attached to her gead when she was younger.

Even pretty woman have flaws, anyone that tries to convince you otherwise is a waste of your time.

Speaking of, should've got her number, but the memory was nice to think back on. Makes me smile whenever I think about it.

Schhwing · 2019-02-08T08:20:46+00:00

No more mister nice guy - ie:

do what feels right for you
please yourself first

imtheoneimmortal · 2019-02-08T08:28:27+00:00

Why are you terrified?
Trauma from childhood?

mrp_awakening · 2019-02-08T15:27:35+00:00

Grow a fucking pair and talk to them. Start with no intention of being sexual... just talk to them. Talk with everyone. Ask random cashiers how their day is going. It's easy in those situations when you're only there for 2 min and then out of their life forever. Start small, get bigger. Just keep pushing just past your boundaries of what's comfortable. Every day, try to get yourself socially uncomfortable at least one time.

Title	How to stop being terrified of girls
Author	slimjimjohncock
Upvotes	9
Comments	29
Date	February 8, 2019 5:25 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aodagt/how_to_stop_being_terrified_of_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-stop-being-terrified-of-girls.217316 https://theredarchive.com/post/217316

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