Burying Your Father and “Return of the Jedi” (1983)

rpsheepdog · 2019-02-10T14:37:07+00:00

That was a great read. Spot on. My parents were divorced and my mom tried her hardest to just slander my dad and really paint him in a bad light. Luckily for him and I, he always stayed in touch and religiously picked me up on his weekends.

Gavin McInnes had a quote about fatherhood from his dad:

You can be friends with your kids when they are young or old, not both

It was a commentary about how fathers who want to be "bros" with their young kids never establish the correct identity for them and the kids grow up mal-adjusted

Tapirboy94 · 2019-02-10T11:19:04+00:00

What a great essay. I still do see my father through the eyes of my disappointed mother as she almost divorced him during my early puberty. Once, she explicitly told me to not become like him in adulthood. She also told me she raised me specifically to be very empathetic toward other people and Never hurt anyone. She would be so happy when other mums told her how nice and well behaved her sons were. I dont blame her though she had a rough childhood.

iknowthewhey · 2019-02-10T07:21:47+00:00

The expectation for a wife was to respect her husband- “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”- in our modern world it even seems appropriate, and rather pressing, to add “in times of alpha” and “moments of beta.”

The inherent flaw in this is that you can't bargain for respect. You are either a man worthy of respect or you're not. A Catholic priest or the government won't change how a wife views her husband.

bjcm5891 · 2019-02-12T12:01:07+00:00

Great share.

My step-father is the only father I've known, and I definitely relate to seeing him differently as I grew up. It was especially hard for me to respect him in my teenage years, because I was always thinking of how he would only see me as a non-negotiable part of the deal if he wanted to get next to my mother. I imagined he must resent me on some level, because putting myself in his situation I knew I'd pick an alternate universe where it was just my mother with no kid. I never felt as if I wanted to be like him when I grew up...

But as I got older and became more aware of the pressures of adulthood (and of manhood) I came to develop an appreciation of him- not just for the fact he took me on board and spent so much time with me over the years, but I also came to see him as a man with integrity. I'm now in my 30's and very much my own person- but I can respect him for who he is and the values he has, in spite of the challenges along the way.

Brutal13 · 2019-02-10T07:05:36+00:00

«Take a moment to recognize that your father was alone in that struggle. He didn’t have the connectivity and resources of modern technology which has served to foster a re-emergence of true masculinity and an understanding of gender dynamics. He was taught that his generation»

I did not like the whole idea you father is Vader and all references to Star Wars. Pop culture mostly is nothing besides conditioning.

But the idea, I quoted above, just nailed it.

My father did not have resources I had, and still he made it. Economic stagnation, echoes of war and civil war(!) and he secured most precious resource — time. I had time to think and to read things, to study in college. And I have him now, we even discuss the red pill’s concepts now.

I’d say understand your father but don’t turn hamstering mode on. Don’t find excuses for him, embrace the pain and understand that he just a human and your ancestor. However, don’t find excuses for yourself. You can control your life. Don’t look for a father’s figure — become one, you have the sidebar.

[deleted] · 2019-02-14T19:44:20+00:00

For me personally, the author invoked the "your parents are always worthy of respect" trope so adored by religious fundamentalists. I still choose to have a relationship with my hyper-religious narcissist parents, but with my eyes wide open. Understanding that we as humans are often deeply flawed, my main priority with them is to set rock hard boundaries, and recognize when they are attempting to mind-fuck me. I recognize that statistically, I'm better off growing up in a two parent home. But it's not all rainbows and unicorns like the author seems to imply.

Title	Burying Your Father and “Return of the Jedi” (1983)
Author	LastRevision
Upvotes	36
Comments	9
Date	February 10, 2019 2:06 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/aozjiq/burying_your_father_and_return_of_the_jedi_1983/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/burying-your-father-and-return-of-the-jedi-1983.218399 https://theredarchive.com/post/218399

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