While this story is with a company, the principles and results remain the same. And, I mean, the HR rep was a girl.

6 weeks ago, I accepted a job offer with a company that is set to begin on Monday. The salary, hours, benefits, etc. were all agreed upon when I accepted the job. My schedule was set to be Mon-Fri, 8-5. Fantastic. Shook hands, went our ways. Until yesterday.

The rest of the story is, except for absence of filler/pleasantries/small talk, verbatim what was said. I received a call yesterday morning and a voicemail saying, 'Hi, billredditbill, this is HRLady. We need to talk about your schedule, something has come up.'

So I called back a couple hours later when I got the message.

HR: '...yes, so there's a problem with scheduling and we are actually going to need you to work Saturdays and Sundays. We will give you Mon/Tues off, however. Are you able to do that?'

Me: 'Unfortunately, no. I have prior commitments on those days and would much rather remain on the previously agreed upon schedule of Mon-Fri 8-5.'

HR: 'Ok, let me talk to my manager and I'll call you back.'

No word back until this morning when she calls.

HR: 'So, I'm sorry to say that our managers have said that we are requiring new hires to work Sundays so we have to adjust your schedule accordingly.'

Me: 'Hmm, let me think about that and I'll call you back shortly.'

After calming down my frustration, I called back an hour later and left this voicemail:

'Hi this is billredditbill calling you back about the scheduling issue. I understand it must be difficult to reconcile all of these new hire schedules and I want to be able to help you guys out as much as possible, however, 6 weeks ago I accepted a job offer here under agreed upon terms of what my schedule would be and because of that, I have since turned down other opportunities as well as built long-term commitments around this schedule through the end of the year. It is extremely difficult for me to now alter those commitments, especially on such short notice, so I will need to stick to our original agreement. Call me back if you would like to talk about this further. Thank you.'

She calls back 5 minutes later.

HR: 'Hi, so I spoke again with my manager and I'm sorry to say that if you cannot work Sundays, we must rescind our offer.'

Me: 'Hmm, let me think about that...are you in the office today?'

HR: 'Yes, I'm here.'

Me: 'Well, I'd like to talk about this in person with you and a manager if possible. I can swing by at 4. Is that a good time for you?'

HR: 'Sure thing, I'll be here.'

So I showed up at 4 and didn't even get to make my spiel. They immediately met me in the lobby and apologized. They had made a 'mistake' and realized it would still work for me to keep my old schedule. I really need this job and so I went in ready to negotiate and if needed, bite the bullet and work weekends until I find something else. But it was just handed to me at that point.

Keep in mind that I was completely friendly through all of it yet never gave ground or showed weakness either.

Here are my takeaways from today's interactions:

  1. Empathy goes a long way in opening communication and negotiation, especially in 'Role to Role' scenarios. (HR-Employee as opposed to just friend-friend). In this story, it was as simple as me saying 'I understand it must be difficult reconciling all of these new hire schedules...'. I think this actually gives you more power in a conversation as it is a method of disengaging defensive attitudes.

  2. Cultivate an assertive mindset. But don't mistake assertiveness with aggression or being an asshole. Friendliness and strength are not mutually exclusive. I hinted at this just earlier, but it is very true. Also: friendliness and 'nice guy'-ness are not the same thing.

  3. Always maintain frame. Duh. You've heard it a thousand times, but that's because it is so important. If I had lost frame and showed my frustration, this whole situation would have turned out differently. It is absolutely imperative to hold frame, remain emotionally stable, and simply state what you want and how you want it.

Whether it's a job, a girl, your mother, etc. Maintain frame and good things happen.