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Shit-tests while traveling

Reddit View
May 13, 2019

I went on a trip with a GF (6 months) and we stayed in an expensive hotel. When we checked in I jokingly told her that the bar downstairs is very nice, must be a perfect place for hooking up for people who travel without spouses.

Shit-test #1: In the evening she suddenly decided to throw a shit-test, said that she'll go to a bar and maybe spend time with somebody. It was obvious that she didn't plan to do that, just wanted to "poke me with a stick". I responded "go ahead, here's a condom".

Shit-test #2: She's using IUD and we're not using condoms, and we're exclusive.

- what if I remove IUD without telling you and get pregnant from you? I think it's 99.99% that I'd be able to do that, and then get a baby?

- If you do that I'll say: "Fuck that shit!" And leave the country. (I'm an immigrant)

Shit-test #3: Next day she started a talk:

- we're long term, right?

- we'll see how it goes

- really? maybe I need to re-evaluate then and start seeing other guys?

- you do what's best for you

At this point she started acting distant, doesn't speak to me and look into her phone. I started doing the same. After two hours of tension she suddenly started hugging me, saying that she loves me, lots of touching, kisses.

What was that about? Did she just think that throwing shit-tests during trip was a good opportunity to gain some power?

Post Information
Title Shit-tests while traveling
Author okuli
Upvotes 149
Comments 60
Date 13 May 2019 08:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test

[–][deleted] 140 points141 points  (5 children) | Copy

You passed her shit tests, you didn't cave in and become a little bitch, you gave an IDGAF mentality = she gave you shit tests because she wanted to see what kind of man you truly were and you passed with an A+.

If the bitch doesn't comply, she gets the goodbye. Good job.

This post is a perfect example of "Abundance mentality" for all ASKTRP posters to see.

Refer to this maxim

IM MAXIM #1: “The tougher the men around her, the softer she is. The softer the men around her, the tougher she is. The toughest woman is the fatherless woman, for the fatherless woman seeks a surrogate by whoring herself.”

[–]AsianWater 5 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I think "Shit-test 3" might actually be a comfort test.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit test 3 is comfort test. He passed all the tests with “abundance mentality” in mind.

[–]Nergaal-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is this account banned or something?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think she was conscious of it, but traveling would be a good time to shit-test a guy. You'd get more accurate results because he'd be tired, have his guard down because he's looking forward to a fun day at the beach, etc.

For this reason, traveling with a girlfriend/wife can be hell for a beta. He's trapped in the car/hotel/plane with her and when he fails a shit test she'll throw more at him, have a meltdown, want to go home, etc. I knew a couple who broke up after driving from Minnesota from Key West.

[–]cuztrp5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

because he's looking forward to a fun day at the beach,

This is true. I think girls shittest you the most during your moments of weakness and they just keep going until you're absolutely drained.

I think if you're traveling abroad with your girlfriend, you should frame the whole thing as you're the one who's traveling and she's just there to tag along and have fun. Whenever I'm traveling, I am in hold of the map we will be using to sightsee the city, I'm in charge of the tickets of the museums we're visiting, and most importantly, I would eat pasta at some Italian restaurant or might as well eat some croissant and milk from the grocery store as a fucking lunch. She doesn't have a saying. It's either she comes with me, or she can have fun solo.

Once my authority is questioned during the trip, I sometimes geniunely explain why I took such decision if it is serious, for example, "Why not visit the museums during the first day?" ==> "so that we can get a feeling of the city vibes first then we'd sneak into some museum"

"Why are we cycling on first day?" ==> to experience as much as we can from the city cuz we don't have much time

just to name a few examples, "why are we having breakfast at the hostel" ==> unless u wanna spend 20 euros on a fucking croissant and espresso shot in some shitty café in stockholm, u're welcome to join

And then I'm for example heading to a square according to the plan, "No, let's go here first". *take out the plan paper* "we have a plan to stick to, remember?" and literally just keep walking where the fuck I was heading.

That's how you can be an alpha during trips. If she starts doing unnecessary shit or brings up some drama, chess on my phone is always available or there are always cool bars to discover during the night so she suck a dick.

I'm there to have fun and have fun only.

[–]opper-hombre140 points41 points  (13 children) | Copy

jokingly told her that the bar downstairs is very nice, must be a perfect place for hooking up for people who travel without spouses.

Can anybody dissect this line. Was it good for him to say this? (Get the hamster going/strong dread game), or was it dumb to say this because it creates unnecessary drama?

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything she did was in response to this.

[–]RelativeTeal39 points40 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’m not going to pat this guy on the back. The exchange sounds like a pair of bickering siblings. A real alpha wouldn’t throw little jabs like he did. Ignoring her insecurities and taking the lead with enjoying yourself is more likely to gain her respect.

[–]cuztrp10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I totally agree to this. I think such comment was a bit unnecessary. Sure it gets her hamster going and whatnot, but you're traveling ffs, enjoy the city, enjoy the time abroad, meet new people, make new friends, all the while she's there. This will surely shoot up her attraction level and will slip some dread into her as well, but all while being a fun guy having fun.

Whenever I am traveling, my schedule is so full and my plans are so packed. I usually make a list of the places I am visiting and using google maps, I literally create a pathway I follow to see as much of the city as I can; not to mention food, bars, special activities, and the rest.

Last time I traveled with a girl she kept her mouth shut and had sex with me at the airbnb at the end of the night. I have made a couple of new friends while she was there and I also made her engage in the interactions I had.

She then later told me that it was hot af that I actually could make friends while traveling. I geniunely believe that that's the ultimate goal of traveling, to meet new people who'd contribute some value to your experience abroad.

The last bit of her shittests sure as hell was more like a comfort test. At that point, if I were in his shoes, I'd tell her "Come here" and kiss her on the lips then fuck her brains out. Him going all the way alpha might have ended up badly for him if the girl had a slightly more different personality (i.e being the kind of girls that need comfort or else she's shutdown).

[–]AsianWater 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed. I would just ignore and then "lets go swimming etc"

[–]donkeydodo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing is, he did right based on what situation he started; if he had never joked about the bar, she wouldn't have done what she did; if he had acted differently, i.e. no abundance mentality, the outcome would be negative for OP

[–]anhqt32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unnecessary drama for sure.

[–]Blesss18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]CharruaNative6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea too cuckish for me

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

jokingly told her that the bar downstairs is very nice, must be a perfect place for hooking up for people who travel without spouses.

Generally it's a good idea to point out that you can easily get laid, but in this case it looks a lot like poking the bear.

[–]tazih 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I thought it was funny, in the end it doesn't really matter. It's just a jab, then she retaliated by suggesting that she would go to the bar.

Seems like playful flirting to me, at least its exactly the type of thing I would jokingly say, especially to indicate interest in the idea of me and my gf gaming some girls at the bar. I don't know if that was OPs intention though.

[–]0io-2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me it sounds like playful flirting too. I don't drink but I would probably make that joke too.

"Wow, that bar is so nice, I think I'm going to go and get drunk and pick up a couple of girls to bring back to the room..."

You could argue the first one isn't even a shit test, more of just riffing on OP's original joke.

edit: I think OP did great. Third one does sound like a comfort test, but OP's not married and doesn't need the girl to be getting too comfortable. The girl figured out she has a good thing going with OP, but if she does leave he's not going to beg her "oh please please please stay I can't live without you." So I'd say he did just fine.

[–]donkeydodo-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It worked, because of his abundance mentality; if he'd caved in, he'd most likely have been dumped or something worse

[–]no_condoments26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

Next day she started a talk: - we're long term, right? - we'll see how it goes - really? maybe I need to re-evaluate then and start seeing other guys? - you do what's best for you

This one doesn't feel like a shit test, nor were you cocky-funny or anything good. It seems like she was asking if you guys should break up, and you basically said that yes, you'd like to start the process of breaking up and she should start sleeping with other guys.

It was a comfort test and you failed so hard.

[–]hopelesshotel3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

this would have worked on a plate. you cant really treat a GF of 6 months that your exclusive too this much like shit. if she asks if youre long term say “.. you know youre my girl.” this is giving her an answer without validating

[–]bostezo220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think so. 6 months is very short time. They are discussing now their "terms". It is very important to not confort her in this early stages. Girls adore drama. This will keep her tension up, knowing the guy is not throwing his commitment at her in 6 months.

He pass the confort test with an A+, as her behavior shows later.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I went on a trip with a GF (6 months) and we stayed in an expensive hotel

Who paid?

said that she'll go to a bar and maybe spend time with somebody.

Shit test for sure, but what's the motivation here.

what if I remove IUD without telling you and get pregnant from you? I think it's 99.99% that I'd be able to do that, and then get a baby?


  • really? maybe I need to re-evaluate then and start seeing other guys?

To me this looks like she's pushing hard for beta provisioning from you (likely started by you paying for things coupled with loss of attraction for some reason).

Hate to tell you, but this relationship looks like it should soon be over. You could run dread, but she looks like she's doubling down on wanting a beta. How old is she?

[–]Fall1n_16 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not so sure I'm buying this post as legit.

In shit test one he states his answer to her going out and hanging with someone a bar is "go ahead, here is a condom". The very next line is shit test two where he states they are exclusive and don't use condoms.

Also in the comments someone says that OP strikes them as the kind of person who would get upset if his girl flipped the script and said the same thing he did about hooking up at the hotel bar to which OP replies he would as he'd see it as disrespectful. Yet when she did EXACTLY that in the first shit test he didn't get pissed or leave like he said he would. Instead he offered her a non-existant condom.

IMO 2 +2 is not adding up to 4.

[–]okuli 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I still carry condoms in my toiletry bag, just in case. After few failed relationships I am always ready that any day would be our last day together. If she decided to go downstairs I would probably do the same.

Funny that she also asked why I have condoms. I just told her that I always have them.

Not buying the story? What is the reason to lie on anonymous forum? There's nothing for me to brag about.

[–]Fall1n_11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying I don't believe the post. The biggest reason is in your OP you state her first shit test and HOW you reacted. Then in two separate comments you've stated how you WOULD act if she did what you say she already did and it was two different potential reactions.

And I can't believe you got to a hotel with your LTR and as soon as you got into the room you opened with the hotel bar appearing to be a hook up bar trying to get a rise out of her. If this is real that was a very stupid line. Especially if you are only 6 months in.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (19 children) | Copy

You sound like probably the dumbest person i have ever seen. So you take girlfriend on a trip and joke about hooking up at a bar, like who says that?

You seem really insecure about yourself by the way you talk. Trying hard to act all cool, lmao your girlfriend is going to dump you just watch.

[–]FilthyStylish11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly what I thought

[–]okuli 1 points [recovered]  (17 children) | Copy

I don't filter much and say what I think. That bar looked like a hookup place, hence why I said that.

"Trying hard to act cool". Not sure what you mean. My responses were genuine, not acting. If she prefers to go downstairs and hookup to being with me - good riddance. I know my worth.

[–]Atheist_Utopia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't know why you get downvoted. To me you just seem like a man who's got his shit together who's not afraid to crack a joke that may or may not cut into someone else's insecurities.

But fact is, you're not afraid to speak up and that is an admirable trait.

[–]LostDevices 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Then perhaps you should filter what you say and think before you speak. Speak sparingly, but with a purpose. What you said served no purpose but to make your girlfriend feel insecure.

[–]Atheist_Utopia-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares if it makes his GF insecure?

[–]randomfire9 3 points [recovered]  (12 children) | Copy

You honestly sound like you'd be offended if the script was reversed.

[–]okuli 0 points [recovered]  (11 children) | Copy

What do you mean script reversed? I'm not telling her that I'm going downstairs to hook up with girls. And I'm not telling that I should start dating other girls.

[–]randomfire9 0 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

Idk I'm just getting a vibe from you that if she said she was gonna hook up with guys at the bar that would come off as disrespectful and you would be upset.

[–]okuli 0 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

Of course I would be offended and feel disrespected. I'd leave right away and end relationship. I set boundaries that cheating is not acceptable very clear. Only a cuck would be ok with his GF hooking up. That's not me, for sure.

[–]randomfire9 3 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Exactly. This is what I'm trying to say. That's essentially what you said to her. Joking about cheating is messed up, from a girl it's a test, as a guy it comes off like youre actually going to cheat.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right? Either he really didn't know she wouldn't take that well (she didn't) or he's really just insecure

[–]LonelyGale 0 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

This guy is obviously Redpill. Why should a Redpill guy cheat if he isn't satisfied by his current relationship when he knows he can just drop the chick and move to the next one?

[–]Fall1n_14 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Is he though? At the very least he is learning but I personally don't believe the post.

But in answer to your question, he wouldn't cheat. He'd end the current relationship/drop the plate and move on in a calm and rational manner.

But the original comment wasn't saying he'd cheat. He was admonishing him for even joking about doing that. Redpill or not it isn't something someone does with their partner they are exclusive with. It starts the hamster spinning and when it comes to infidelity it's the last thing you want any of your women to be spinning about.

[–]okuli 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

What part of my story you don't believe?

Just wanted to clarify, I'm almost 40, had a bad divorce two years ago. In those two years I've fucked and had short term relationships with more women than I had in my entire life. And I think I finally internalized idgaf attitude. I don't have any incentive to lie and came here to ask why she behaved that way. Too many people here trying to accuse me lying. I'm not a kid who came here to stroke his ego.

[–]Fall1n_1-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

She did exactly this in her first shit post. His response was "go ahead, here is a condom". With is completely opposite of what he answered to this question you asked.

[–]ramfex210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What if she takes it as you said she could fuck someone else? You did give her a condom

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats, you held frame.

[–]Lambdal71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was a comfort test. You failed with flying colors and told her you don’t give a shit about her and your relationship with her.

Now, you wonder why she acts distant. Are you autistic?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well played man, she's just being a regular woman. Good example of red pill in action.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

congratulations, you passed.

[–]rDiothe3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“What that was about” is that she’s just being a girl

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If this is all true, I do believe you held frame through it all well. I also believe it could have been avoided, how you’re making it sound through your post is that you just like to make snarky remarks to prove your “alpha ness” to your LTR in which seems more insecure than it does confident, like why would you even be thinking that? IMO it’s almost like you were assuming that’s what she would think about the place so you brought it up beforehand to let her know how many fucks you don’t give, which making that remark is going to make her maybe he thinks I’m going to try to cheat on him or something. Reason I say this is because in past Relationships of mine I was guilty of similar things. But like I said you still held ground through it.

[–]Classy_Amir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's time to evaluate yourself. What did you do to deserve so many shit tests? Whatever it is, it's working. I'd say it's your IDGAF attitude. Keep up the good work but be ready to walk away if she starts to disrespect you. Set boundaries, reward/punish, and once the boundaries are broken, leave and never look back. You'll find garbage.


[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]ButMessiDeservedIt-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You definitely passed my brother.

[–]handybh89-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You got issues dude, you need to chill out

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet-4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy

This sounds like an awful lot of shit for your bitch to be dealing you during a single trip.

It doesn't sound like you're maintaining discipline. You should be issuing commands for her to follow, then rewarding obedience and punishing defiance.

[–]Classy_Amir2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What are we turning to..? TRP Vanguard (not just any, but HumanSockPuppet's) comment gets -3 votes? I always feared the betas would infect our community.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol don't sweat the votes, they don't mean anything.

Ultimately, a man will stand or fall based solely on whether or not he puts good information into practice. I say what needs to be said, the rest is up to the reader.

[–]endertheend -1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe i'm off here (correct me if I am) but why are you going on trips with her in the first place?

Isn't that signaling "provider" and "serious"? Of course she's going to start shit testing you in this case.

Shit test #1 shouldn't have been answered at all. Shit test#3 recovered you though. "well see how it goes" is great.

[–]garebear19959-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Props on holding frame.i think I’ve had it easy mode with small town girls.

That whole exchange sounds draining as fuck.i would’ve kicked the bitch out after the first sentence.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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