Starting day game tomorrow, plan on being absolutely honest - no fake clowning, no bullshit. Still have some nerves, however. Welcoming all advice.

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June 16, 2019

I'm going to be starting day-game tomorrow solo at the mall, with a goal to make minimum 7 approaches. Going into this, I want to be absolutely honest, since I really don't care enough to lie or beat around the bush. For example, if the only reason I want to approach a girl is because of some physical attribute about her, even though Roosh says it's a bad idea I'm still gonna be honest about me liking her physical attribute as an opener. I have some nerves though and they're really frustrating me. They're not logical, or I'm not conscious of the logic, otherwise I'd explain here what I'm so damn nervous about.

I also don't want to lose my frame and get caught up in the dopamine of it. I know I get addicted very easily, in the past spending my whole days pursuing empty pleasures and hating myself for it. My whole sense of red pill reality can come crashing down in an instant in the face of pleasure, women being no exception. I'm then welcoming any of you wise lot to give some advice, on both maintaining outcome independence (avoiding dependence on pleasure) and dealing with approach anxiety. I also think seeing your discussion will help my nerves, that being the double-purpose of this post.

Thank you, this community is more than I deserve.

Post Information
Title Starting day game tomorrow, plan on being absolutely honest - no fake clowning, no bullshit. Still have some nerves, however. Welcoming all advice.
Author LeatherBoundWisdom
Upvotes 89
Comments 48
Date 16 June 2019 04:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
day gameRoosh Vframegamethe red pillapproach anxiety

[–]0io-207 points208 points  (8 children) | Copy

You can chat up women standing in line, waiting to cross the street, at the grocery store, wherever you find them.

Just approach everywhere you run into an attractive woman and keep it non-sexual and normal.

"This light takes forever."

"I hope it doesn't rain today."

If you get a mmmmf and a dirty look, don't push it any further, just walk away and on to the next one.

If you get some conversation back like "It's not supposed to rain until midnight tonight, do you go to XYZ college across the street?" Then continue the conversation and look for IOI's. If you get IOI's invite her to go somewhere immediately or say you have to go somewhere but offer to exchange numbers with her.

If she's eye-fucking you and giggling and playing with her hair agrees to go somewhere with you, then you have a green light to escalate. Go get ice cream or something and get to know her better.

"Wow you're from France? How long are you studying here in the US?"

It shouldn't look like you're approaching women. She should think she ran into some interesting guy at the grocery store or waiting for the bus or whatever.

[–]Toxik621 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Top comment.

[–]Throwaway5hfy88k9912 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is excellent advice.

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

If you get a mmmmf and a dirty look, don't push it any further, just walk away and on to the next one.

daygame requires being pushy. it requires overcoming objections non-stop. those openers are bad too and your last paragraph is the reason why.

[–]EvolvedVirus1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just FYI, I've had great conversations with people in streets and elevators and all sorts of places before. The thing is,.. you do have to be a bit pushy. You kinda have to make something happen, an exchange of number or something.

Women are anxious and cautious for many many reasons. They sometimes aren't in the mood.

It's not something you learn anywhere... It's like, you ever have a friend who doesn't want to really hang out or do anything with you? But imagine for a second that if you were a drill sergeant by training and you were being super pushy about doing stuff. Sometimes you can get that friend to go and do stuff with you and he will enjoy it a lot. He just didn't know that when you asked once. Of course if you get 2 "No, I'm sorry.." responses, then let it go, you're not actually a drill sergeant with maggots who signed on the dotted line. Don't let it go to your head you know.

[–]red2hilt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Could you give more examples of the same kind you just gave:

  • "This light takes forever."
  • "I hope it doesn't rain today."

Would appreciate 5-10 more - different real situations.

[–]_teh_overloard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

just look for situational openers, anything that is happening/has happened infront of both of you.
-Did you see that? what a wipeout, shit must have hurt like a motherfucker

-speeding much? some people are just reckless, as least when im reckless im by myself in the woods

-what ive got a boner you say? naaaah im just carrying a knife in my pocket

[–]2SirKolbath56 points57 points  (14 children) | Copy

Don’t go in with any expectations. I recommend that you actively try to be rejected two hundred times before you make a single approach for real. Treat it as a game.

BTW, I used to be director of security at a mall. Don’t be a creep, okay? Nobody wants to deal with that. I wouldn’t use a mall for rejection inoculation, personally. There’s nothing that happens at a mall that isn’t spread from one side of it to the other before you can get back to your car. If you approach more than two women the security director’s phone is going to explode. Use your instincts and make the right approaches. Otherwise you might as well be hanging out in the lingerie section of Target licking your lips.

[–]Non-Cookie-cutter29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

don’t be a creep

Don’t be unattractive

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You can be good looking and many women will still think its creepy.

[–]Non-Cookie-cutter6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bullshit , there is no such thing as a creepy male .

If you’re good looking being a pedo or being an ex isis fighter isn’t creepy , if you got anything creepier than that let me know .

Pedo chad : or being

Ex isis chad

Females are a walking contradiction, never take anything they say seriously .

[–]LeatherBoundWisdom[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Where do you think's a better place to get rejected then? Beach maybe?

[–]SidMRP23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just go to the mall lmao. Don't be creepy, but do what you want. You're not getting kicked out unless you look like a basement dweller

[–]LeatherBoundWisdom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I definitely pass that test lmao.

[–]2SirKolbath5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I prefer going to a large city and walking around.

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

the mall is fantastic if that's a convenient place to go for you. don't give a fuck about inconveniencing others. they'll manage.

[–]Farseer1502211 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The suburban mall near me has a bunch of middle schoolers. Idk if 20 year olds go to the mall anymore.

[–]SalesAficionado 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I got plenty of numbers chatting women at malls. It’s actually the perfect field.

[–]2SirKolbath0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That’s awesome. And when you spend ten months as director of security for one and deal with the dozens of calls about creeps walking around perving on women your opinion will matter. I don’t know why the fuck it is you rookies with no idea what you’re talking about feel this overwhelming and uncontrollable urge to argue with someone whose literal area of expertise is this field, but it’s annoying.

OP can do as he likes. If he takes your advice he’s going to be labeled a creep and probably be removed from the mall. Or he can take mine and avoid the asinine risk there is no reason to assume.

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, if approaching some random chick that's strolling around the mall is creepy, then approaching a random chick anywhere is creepy.

How did the creepy guys look? Was it well kept, fit men or dad bod pedo-stache men?

[–]ThisIs_RomanticPaul_12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you want to be upfront about your intentions to women, I would recommend you check out Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. That is the best & well-articulated book written about upfront & straightforward honesty. Cheers

[–]LeatherBoundWisdom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Put it on my list, thanks!

[–]Velebit13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

Your success will be random. I had 3 girls in a row give me their number and after that for 2 weeks nothing for example. Also being absolutely honest is autistic. The best way to impress a woman is by making her laugh by joking. Saying your mother would love to meet her or point to a janitor and say he wants to know if she likes you or something like that puts emotion in that conversation and women love emotions especially innocent jokes.

Unless a woman eyes you before you approach or you make her laugh don't expect success.

[–]BusterVadge2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can be absolutely honest with a woman and still engage her emotions. If I read OP correctly he wants to avoid making up bs stories about himself.

[–]Velebit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nuance bro

[–]LeatherBoundWisdom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right. By being honest I don't mean I want to discuss facts and finance like a boring schlub school teacher. I'm open to "play", but I won't make up shit of "oh I was looking for xyz maybe you can help me", and I don't want to fake an interaction being incidental when on my part it was wholly intentional.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good advice but I do want to say that you can have plenty of success without getting any looks/IOIs.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

plan on being absolutely honest

Direct is a good start, but it's not the best long term plan.

For example, if the only reason I want to approach a girl is because of some physical attribute about her, even though Roosh says it's a bad idea I'm still gonna be honest about me liking her physical attribute as an opener.

This is good for your personal development, but women are still women and prefer subtext over direct and accountable.

I'm saying do it..... but know that after you can do this, you'll get better results with direct-indirect..... eg "I just had to talk to you" is good, but "because you have a great rack" won't get you the best results.

I have some nerves though and they're really frustrating me. They're not logical, or I'm not conscious of the logic, otherwise I'd explain here what I'm so damn nervous about.

Nerves is fine.... do it anyway.

I'm then welcoming any of you wise lot to give some advice, on both maintaining outcome independence (avoiding dependence on pleasure) and dealing with approach anxiety.

AA drops with practice and good results. Focus on the process, not how you feel about it all. Most of this is just doing it....

If you're very nervous and this is blocking you, try the aversion therapy method, which is basically this:

Work out the biggest thing you can do that pushes you a bit but not into the terror zone. Imagine a progression:

  • Glancing at a girl
  • Buying a drink from a girl in a kiosk and saying "hi" and "thanks"
  • Asking a stranger for the time
  • Telling a stranger she looks cute then walking off
  • Stopping a stranger and asking for directions
  • Continuing one of the above conversations for a few more sentences
  • Asking a girl for coffee

Whatever you can do in the above.... pushing slightly..... without abject terror..... do that.

When you're at level 5.... and it gets easy.... go to level 6.

Rinse, repeat.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

to combat nerves: get in the mindset that you are OFFERING her some cool chit-chats and the potential OFFER of a good time that could improve her life. A GIVING mindset is good and be chill and put her at ease , NO PRESSURE. Good luck. Have fun and LOTS OF LAUGHING, it's not serious.

[–]BusterVadge2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do mostly day game these days and my best tip is to get her feel good, laugh, and smile. Get her to talk about herself without telling her hardly anything about you. After all, a woman's favorite subject is herself.

Once you get her to feel really good you leave her with your contact info to discuss something in your convo further. Later on she'll realize that she was mostly talking about herself and if you did it right will want to get to know something about you, too. It reduces the flake rate a little.

All that being said, even if you get contact info be prepared for a high flake rake.

[–]CSThrowAway20142 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever you do, please don't go from 0 to 60 all in one day. Take your time, do it slow, baby steps.

[–]Atheist_Utopia1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Cold approach is actually really stupid when you aren't top 10% of looks. As is actively seeking out rejection. It subconsciously destroys your self-esteem. It's one thing to embrace inevitable rejection, but looking for rejection is looking for failure.

I still have no idea why otherwise very wise red-pilled men advocate such insanity.

[–]SalesAficionado 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Get out of here with that bullshit. Cold approach works. If your self esteem is destroyed after talking to some random broad that you will probably never see again, then you need to build a better frame. You’re selling yourself when you approach. Some will buy, some won’t.

[–]Atheist_Utopia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It rarely if ever works when you're low-value. Both TRP and PUA advocated to approach en masse. The result is probably 1/100 success rate. I don't see the point when you could be improving your SMV and approach afterwards. I myself have experienced the difference and would never recommend CA to frameless noobs.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree. I find that there is no easy way to meet women(besides a few exceptions- club owners, DJs, frats, etc) and cold approaching puts more fate in YOUR hands. Online dating is very wishy washy and cold approaching has low success rates as well but you separate yourself by doing daygame as it takes balls.

Obviously good looks helps though but unless you're ugly its not game over.

I think you have the wrong mindset in that cold approaching is looking for rejection. Each rejection is one step closer to a number close or an eventual lay.

[–]usernameishardtomake1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do not quit even if the results on day 1 isn't great. Always learn from your mistakes, and improve your game

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. OP give it many approaches. Don't get upset if you do 20 approaches and don't get results. Give it 100+. Keep on pushing.

[–]navayan0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Hey buddy. Lets be a day game buddy.share our day game experiences .I been doing daygame in malls for 8 months. done 500 appraoches. I need a online daygame wing to chat ,share and for just listning to my ordeals sometimes.PM me.

I am doing daygame in malls.I use direct approach as taught by tom torero.He has a book Beginners day game guide. I advice you read and implement that.

[–]merunas0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yo how many lays have you got after that many approaches? I've been doing it for a month mostly on the beach because I enjoy it with a few approaches per week. I've got some numbers but nothing more.

[–]navayan1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Two is learning biggest change to increase output is to have conversation for 7 to 10 min. I am in India,pune.where r u from.?

[–]merunas1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm in Spain. I just started working on my daygame and I feel that I'm not putting in my 100% when I go out. I only open lone girls when there aren't that many people around because I don't feel comfortable drawing that much attention. I'm giving it a 50% of my effort.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

More effort, more results. Don't be afraid to hit up some groups brother.

[–]navayan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Theguygotgame7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maintain eye contact and confidence.

[–]weems130 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't overthink about what to say however here are a few things that work for me:

-opener is either "Hey, whats up?" followed by handshake and introducing yourself then saying you thought she is cute or "Hey I thought you were cute."

-Always say you thought she was cute, hot, attractive, compliment her dress/skirt/hair, etc. This sets the frame as you being sexually attracted and not just some friendzone or BP shit. Also, don't be afraid to give a compliment or two, just by approaching a woman you validate them. Nothing wrong with a high value male giving a compliment. Just don't overdo it obviously.

-Talk about situational things(ie- make a joke about a drunk person walking by, ask about her tattoo, why she chose that hair color, so on and so forth)

-A few fallback questions (where are you headed to, whats your plan for the night, you from around here, tell me something cool about yourself, etc). Flirt when you get an opening.

-Good eye contact.

-get the number in less than 1 minute. Get in. Get out. You don't need to have a fancy conversation

-realize its a total numbers game.

-Know when to eject. If a chick's energy is dead or she thinks you're a creep(lol happens a lot) just keep it moving and walk off(mid sentence if need be).

-Have a couple drinks first if you get nervous. Despite what is often said, if you're visibly nervous you're dead.

-Have a few quick comebacks to the common filibusters (I have a boyfriend, I dont know you yet, Are you a player, etc).

-NEXT! I've had chicks think I'm a total creep and have them refuse to shake my hand only to hit it off with the next chick. Next! is one of the strongest words in the language for a man.

Also, I recommend you approach more than 7. Aim for at least 10, preferably 15-20. You'll get better and more confident with time. Good luck!

[–]Wholesomeloaf-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You didn't really say, but if you are going anywhere with only the intention to cold approach, it's gonna feel and look creepy. At least be going to get lunch, shopping, running errands. Plan your day out with actual stuff to do and if the opportunity comes up along the way (which it will), then take it. This helps with outcome independence also.

[–]LeatherBoundWisdom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right. I also need to go shopping to improve my wardrobe. That's why mall works for me.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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