Ltr drinking

blancstare · 2019-07-19T16:04:34+00:00

Everyone is entitled to their preferences. But you shouldn't expect everyone to respect those preferences or that they will respect them to the same extent as you do. Seems like this is more of a problem with you than with her. Your anger is a covert attempt at controlling her behavior in a passive, indirect manner.

Looking past why it might bother you, consider that you are angry because she's responsibly engaging in very common behavior for an adult. Hope that perspective sheds some light on the situation.

CainPrice · 2019-07-19T16:49:48+00:00

Your girlfriend drinks socially, doesn't get drunk, and doesn't go out to meat markets to get guys to pay attention to her and buy her drinks?

You have a problem because she drinks socially and enjoys the occasional drink with friends?

What's the issue? Are you a dry, Jesus-freak who's against drinking on principle? Are you insecure that her drinking and hanging out with her friends is going to lead to her realizing that you suck and dumping you or put her in a position to meet other men she'll leave you for? Do you have some kind of bizarre mental health issue relating to past trauma like your dad drinking and raping you as a kid?

X--Man · 2019-07-19T15:09:36+00:00

We don't know why you care about something you also do yourself. Why do you?

entrep4 · 2019-07-19T17:27:29+00:00

If she's drinking responsibility you shouldn't have an issue with it. The problem is with you not her. Fix yourself

FixYourselfFirst · 2019-07-19T15:08:12+00:00

Your options: 1. Give her ultimatum, drop her if needed 2. Get over her responsible drinking

Really, you need to understand why it bothers you. Drunk mom or relative in your history?

Pwnishment87 · 2019-07-19T17:54:11+00:00

You said she doesn't overdo it, it doesn't effect her socially, it doesn't really change the type of person she is in social settings. Then its simple, STFU. Get out of your own head. You are drumming up an issue for no reason. Maintain frame let her get loose.

FereallyRed · 2019-07-19T19:32:27+00:00

You make no sense.

"My girlfriend likes shrimp. I eat seafood every once in a while but not like her. She doesn't binge or make a mess all over herself, but i just don't like her eating shrimp. What should I do?"

vullnet123 · 2019-07-19T22:43:04+00:00

Where in Europe? Is it a liberal or conservative country?

It’s just drinking with friends and at home. If she was going clubbing, parties , different story.

SirKolbath · 2019-07-19T15:29:53+00:00

I dislike anything that removes personal responsibility. I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs. I also don’t care to be around those who do, although I generally won’t make an issue about it.

What your LTR is doing seems reasonable to me, but everyone has differing levels of what is reasonable. If you require teetotaling, then you need to articulate that to her. This will, unfortunately, be an ultimatum. As such, be prepared to execute any consequences for failure to conform to your requirements, up to and including demotion or dismissal.

Do not make empty threats. If this is a dealbreaker to her, explain that, and if she breaks the deal, that’s it. If you make any attempt to negotiate your consequences her respect for you will evaporate faster than fog in a furnace. If you tell her that she’s out of your life if she has a beer and you catch her posting pics on Facebook of her participating in chugging contests then that’s it; she’s done and there is no return.

What you can tolerate is an individual thing. My opinion is that she isn’t doing anything unreasonable, but I am not you. I can’t draw your lines.

JGdc12 · 2019-07-19T17:03:53+00:00

You're just worried that she will do something under the influence that you wouldn't want her to. Put it this way, if you were there getting drunk with her, would it even bother you a little? It's just the fact that she has lower inhibitions and you can't get in her way.

CasualtyOfHedonism · 2019-07-19T19:25:21+00:00

Clubs = fucking other guys. 95%, hard next

Petrofskydude · 2019-07-19T19:34:13+00:00

The passive aggressive solution: At the next event like this (family barbeque), buy a 24 pack of non-alcoholic O'douls beer and start putting them away like nobody's business. Act progressively drunker than you ever have around her before as the evening goes on, while having zero alcohol in your system. Never address the absurdity of what you are doing...make it a slow burn. This might be the funniest thing you have ever done.

Title	Ltr drinking
Author	jatert1
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	July 19, 2019 2:52 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cf8i14/ltr_drinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-drinking.245983 https://theredarchive.com/post/245983

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