Im starting life late due to my mental health and I need advice guys...

DesperateChemical · 2019-08-31T00:44:09+00:00

You have to CRUSH it at the gym, everyday. (Six on, one rest day which will still be an active recovery day.) Physical health and strength help mental health and strength. Diet should be a big focus of yours going forward.

You are late to the game. Who fucking cares? You are running your own race, run it the best you can and don't compare yourself to other people, compare yourself to your previous self.

You are 24. You're still young, your whole life ahead of you. You could be a fucking brain surgeon before you are 40, if you want. Nothing is closed off to you if you crush it going forward.

Today is a writing day for you. I want you to sit down and write, write out what your dream life would look like in five years. Then start breaking down what you need to do to make that a reality (and if it is a realistic timeline).

If you want you can send me what you write and I would be happy to go over it with you.

You can make a wonderful life for yourself, full of struggle (a good thing!) and reward.

I wish you the best, man.

savageinthebox · 2019-08-31T01:26:19+00:00

Just an FYI, 24 is young as fuck - you have your whole life ahead of you. I’m not saying delay, hit the weights NOW, but don’t think you’re late to the party, I would kill to be 24 again and start from scratch.

BeeBopJoe · 2019-08-31T02:15:31+00:00

Start working on your mental health and everything else will come to place naturally. Don't rush your life, as long as you don't have kids and ur parents aren't kicking u out the house, then u can still pursue a college degree or trade school once ur mental health is more stable.

Don't worry too much about it and just do things at your own pace. I am cheering for you champ, u got this!

Haytch1234 · 2019-08-31T03:43:29+00:00

Dont worry. I spent from 19 to 21 depressed with chronic anxiety after being diagnosed with a skin disease on my face. Spent 6 years going to the doctors 3 times a weekto get it treated. No results or very minimal. And my depression pulled my marks down at un, so im not able to use my degree or get into grad school. So I started again at 25. Saved about 60K in two years and looking to go study or do something else. You can do it. Life is long.

Schhwing · 2019-08-31T01:10:09+00:00

Desperate chemical has said it best. Gym and or running hugely improve your confidence and well being. Then obviously work with your therapist about what is causing your low self confidence and self esteem. Once you build some self esteem self confidence will come from building competence which can only be achieved through practice. At this point you are ready to enter the world and build

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-08-31T05:23:57+00:00

You're young. Very young.

You need that treatment for depression/anxiety though. It sounds clinical.

Go get that shit sorted before anything. First thing's first.

All these dudes giving you the pump up is great, but they don't deal/work with mental health.

Focus on that, get the right medication. After that you can reassess.

Blazer808 · 2019-09-01T09:32:21+00:00

Your real life starts at 18, because you should totally disregard the first 18 years of your life. Sure, they existed, sure you lived through them, but they're not relevant to the majority of your life span.

In the sense that the first 18 are not a mirror of your own self, but of your circumstances. I guess you can already imagine how the first 18 years of the son of a rockstar are compared to the first 18 years of the son of a homeless person or an orphan are. What really matters is who you want to be!

Do you want to be the beta who becomes the 40 year old virgin or do you want to become the man that lives life by his own terms? This is the time where you get to decide what you want to be on your own.

I mean, in the end, if your parents couldn't influence the way that you grow up, why would some random guy/girl get to decide how you feel about yourself in one random night?.

Just lift, because that helps physically and mentally and will prolong your lifespan quite literally. Get curious about your passions, whatever they are. What other people think is caused by their own insecurities in pursuing their own passions. We have a saying where I come from, which roughly translates to "If my goat dies I hope my neighbor's goat dies as well!". Basically meaning that if my life is shit, everyone else's life should be shit too. That's how most people operate these days.

What modern men miss, in my opinion at least, is the imminent threat of instant or painful death. Do you think that the men of old who had to fight out invaders or hunt for their own food worried themselves with shit like this? No, they went out there and they fought tooth and nail for their own survival. They did it not because they like it, but because they had to.

fartt123 · 2019-08-31T06:34:13+00:00

Most of the young problems are money. Money may not be the end all be all but you need money for everything. You dont have to be a millionaire to have a social life but you have to have some money at least 2000 per month to have fun, some savings and college tuition, if you living with parents. if you dont have that. You definitely won't have no girls. You won't have too many friends. If youre young and broke set expectation accordingly. Accept that being broke comes with depression and loss of hairs. Once you get some money traction then you enter the game. There are always outliers that keep their self-esteem up and still game, but for most people depression is sure to come with being broke. Considering you've had jobs in past and still only have $100. you might have bad spending habits. I would say talk to everyone hangout with noone technique. Value your jobs don't just leave them. Go to community college and get associates in cs. You'll at least have a job that pays ok.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-08-31T07:11:08+00:00

Your situation isn't unfixable. I was in a similar situation at your age. No college, worked a string of utterly replaceable manual labor and service type jobs. Chronic anxiety and depression. Couldn't afford to leave my parents house.

Recommend you learn a skilled trade such as welding, machining, plumbing/HVAC, or electrical. Electrician make great money.

I started welding at 25. The money is decent but not fabulous. The perks are you get insurance and enough money to afford rent and car payments.

I'm not saying you can just sit back and relax, but that sense of impending doom and ultimate failure is mostly a fiction you've created to ram down your own throat.

At worst you'll continue to spin your wheels for a few years, but at least you're helping your parents our with the house a bit and keeping them company.

Your parents shouldn't be supportive of you sabotaging yourself and not showing initiative.

Yes it feels harsh, but it's the only way they know to teach you not to use your mental health struggle as a crutch to act helpless. It's the only way they can teach you the red pill truth that if you don't advocate for yourself and support you, nobody else is going to.

mr_sandmam · 2019-08-31T08:47:08+00:00

Guys reach their peak much later. Now get that mental help and do rule number 1: start lifting. See how you evolve from there. You can do amazing things, don't forget it.

thrashbat · 2019-08-31T11:00:51+00:00

Check out goenka meditation camps. I was in the same position as you (college ruined due to extreme anxiety). This was the only thing that worked. I did the 10 day camp, it's was extremely tough but was the first step in really conquering anxiety.

[deleted] · 2019-08-31T15:58:06+00:00

Start working out several times a week (lifting preferably, cardio alone will be better than nothing), and start taking a vitamin D supplement. It's cheap, and a non-trivial amount of people with depression have their symptoms drastically improve from taking it.

Australian National University offers a free online cognitive-behavioral therapy (the best type of therapy that exists for your issues) interactive workbook that's really, really well done called "eCouch." I can't link to it here, but if you search for "eCouch" on Google, then it'll be the first thing that shows up.

If you want things to change, then you're going to have to earn it by putting in the work. That's the only solution. Wage war on life.

HillsOfMars · 2019-09-03T00:54:17+00:00

Heres a few things you can do rn to feel better and trust me you will feel better when you feel like you are actively im proving

Start meditating twenty minutes a day

Go to the gym at lleast three days a wweek. I recommend stronglifts five by five as a beginner program

Download rolllo tomassis book the rationale male and read it. The sidebar is great and you should read that too but I feel like its easier for new guys to just read one book instead of feeling like they gotta plow through a bunch of long disparate articles. Its the red pill in book form

Read the goals post on the main subs side bar and determine what your long term and short term goals are so you have something to work towards and use as a reference point. This is important because if you’re life isnt going howw you wwant it you will feel your best when you can see im provement relative to a reference point

Eat healthier

Get a job if you don’t already have one

Get some healthy hobbies

Socialize with people who challenge you to be better. We’re social creatures. You can also ask and challenge your friend to do healthier stuff with you. Go rock climbing at an indoor gym for a day or hiking instead of playing video games or something like that.

drunkPKMNtrainer · 2019-08-31T07:50:17+00:00

baby steps.

I fell into a slump as well for a period of time. After I finally confronted myself, I simply started doing things I enjoy while cutting the negative influences little by little. Then i realized I need to work harder, and thus i got promoted to manager at the time. I started to gain more responsibility and money which helped my self esteem. my focus was on me and soon I noticed my life changing. I am not sure if this will help you but just understand that its okay to fall into a hole, just build a ladder to get yourself out of it.

garebear19959 · 2019-08-31T08:33:21+00:00

I spent 4 years after high school just doing drugs and working to buy more said drugs.

What turned it around for me is setting financial and career goals.but the big confidence boost and looksmax was going to a muay Thai gym.

LordFlakkko · 2019-08-31T09:52:18+00:00

Holy shit you just very accurately described me...but I do lift weights. Are you in school? I found that forcing myself to go back to school and talking with my professors on the side about jobs and stuff helped me a lot. I had a few professors who were very understanding and said that after I graduated they may know a few people around who might be able to help me. But you must show you are trying to make up "lost" time by working extra hard always early always attentive always asking questions.

Sometimes late "first" experiences can be a good thing. Last night my friends forced me to get a lap dance from two strippers and it was so exulirating. Just a small antidote but good luck bro. Youre not alone in this

allsam18 · 2019-08-31T10:44:26+00:00

my personal advice is listen every day for one hour mp3 digital euphoria (its free on google or torrent)

ihatecensorship777 · 2019-08-31T05:54:18+00:00

Get a job you bum and go to the fucking gym and get over your insecurities.

Get a nice haircut dress nice, approach bitches. It’s so easy you can make a potential turnaround in like 2 months

Title	Im starting life late due to my mental health and I need advice guys...
Author	SOLODOLOGUY
Upvotes	55
Comments	33
Date	August 31, 2019 12:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cxpego/im_starting_life_late_due_to_my_mental_health_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-starting-life-late-due-to-my-mental-health-and.251507 https://theredarchive.com/post/251507

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