Hello fellow RedPillers.

First up, I apologize for the long read. Semi rant, insane circumstances, but a good read. Learn from me.

I'm rather new here, but have studied up on PUA material for the past 4 or so years. I went through a bad breakup out of college with a girl I dated for 4 years, found the PUA stuff, implemented over a year, and landed this 8/10 girl on NYE 2011-2012. Made out in the first 2 hours of meeting, pushed it from there. She lived in Boston at the time, then moved here to Pittsburgh for her family and I. Got along half decent over those 3 years, very well within the first 2. I was doing a lot of PUA minded things... not supplicating, not showing a ton of interest, etc etc.. similar to the Redpill mindset in many ways. Only officially got into a relationship over a year of seeing her after he friend called us out on it. Still rocked on from there for another year of calm seas. We never fought until the end.

Throughout 2014, I went back to many of my blue pill ways. I wasn't as interesting. Wasn't growing. I was in my comfort zone. I became boring. I didn't want to travel - she did. I did very well in the first year amping up attraction, being alpha, and just being awesome. I was amazed with myself. In the past year I faltered, we just hung out every weekend, just the boring going to bars stuff, mainly with her cousin following us around constantly. I did whatever they did, didn't lead. I was 'happy' in my dull state, just not being alone.

In July 2014, said girl went on a European trip with this cousin. Keep in mind, these are two virgins. Yes, myself included even. "Good girls", Catholics, extremely family oriented. Didn't think I had anything to worry about. The day she came home from the trip, she was in tears, wanted to break up, and I said, sure, no problem, I was feeling something was up. Agreed with it (although I was truly hurt), and sure enough, the next day she was begging back. Exactly what I wanted. If I had reacted, all would have been lost.

Reason? Well turns out she met a group of Australians there. Partied with them for 2 weeks while doing the life goal of touring Europe she always wanted. Came back, realized her life and job sucked. Wanted to dump me, quit her job for another, then jumped back in with me after realizing this guy she met was across the world. Still thought I didn't have anything to worry about with the distance thing.

Fast forward to October 2014, we went to NYC, friends weddings, many of them. My bosses wedding too. She wanted a ring herself, I wasn't ready. Her family had been saying I'd propose over summer, fall, etc. I never did. She was practically begging, even after meeting Australian. She had been talking to this guy over texts for 6 months........... I didn't really know, but I knew something was up. Didn't want to face it.

December 2014, right before New Years, she said this guy was coming and they'd just hang out as friends. Sure, I thought. I reacted, blew up. Bad idea. I tried to prevent it. Should have walked away then. I went back to blue pill ways. I was not in state of abundance. I actually almost convinced myself I wanted to have the 4 kids she wanted, a big house, a yard. That I wanted to deal with her family for the rest of my life. Conforming to whatever they wanted of me. I hate family trips, birthdays, holidays, but tried to rationalized it was what I wanted. I was so wrong.

I even went as far as faking that I bought an engagement ring and just sold it after hearing this in a rash decision. I faked money coming out of my bank account, a Craigslist ad, and emails. She found out after researching a number in a picture I took from a site. Called me out on it. I completely blew up again..... I was running fully on 'love'... and it makes you do dumb things. I never had any intent to propose... unless it was like 8 years down the line.

The story gets a lot more interesting. Even after this, right before he came, I was clinging on. One night, out at a bar, we met up with her cousin after some emotional talks. Cousin didn't even know we were talking anymore, freaks out, I leave and go back to my car. Girlfriend's keys are there, so I decide to be a good person and take them back to her apartment. I actually thought about tossing them in the river, but morally knew this was wrong.

She texts me drunk saying she knows I left with another girl and hopes I'm happy. I don't respond. She walks in, asks me to come to bed, I refuse. Drunk, she passes out. I go in 20 minutes later. We get emotional, talk about all our past experiences, all good ones. Genuinely, it was a wonderful experience to be honest. We get into it, do our usual, then we slip up, push to far, and I penetrate her.

We both back off, agree that wasn't anything, and I continue otherwise. She's in a lot of pain and we stop. Her sex drives goes obnoxiously through the roof. She gets out the heels, stockings, lingerie. 5 in the morning now. She asks to be shown everything I know (kinky things). I start, but being a good catholic girl, she's still not really into it. We stop. Even right now, she still believes nothing happened and she is saving herself for marriage. She was tipsy, but not that drunk that many hours later when this happened. Blood on the sheets in the morning and enough pain for ibuprofen.... yeah, nothing happened.

We spend the next 72 hours pouring our hearts out to each other. Literally. Everything on the table. I cried, she cried. She had a complete emotional breakdown. Discuses how Australian farmboy isn't going to be able to provide long-term. He's 23, she's 27 and wants marriage now. Talked about God/religion. Family. More logical things. Her alone issues, her other issues, everything. She agrees he will just come as a friend, nothing more, only because she can't turn him back now. I said to keep in touch until after.

He still comes for Christmas, NYE. They go to Niagara Falls, NFL games, Washington DC, light festivals. Over 3-4 states... all in just a few days He's in all the family pictures too. Everyone smiling. Tons and tons of likes from everyone. I mean, 50, 75+... she rarely gets that many.

Girlfriend never called - still hasn't over a month later. Dressed up all fancy for NYE, short black dress, high heels. Posed for pics with Australian farmer boy (actually kinda fat), posted on Facebook of everything, 50+ likes on everything from friends and family. Then I was defriended by her, most of her family, friends, etc on Facebook.

I sit her now, a month later, still hurt. Sorry guys, I am. I know I shouldn't be. I have called up an ex, hung out with her, and someone I met a few years ago and didn't pursue anything with. We had lunch, it was good... wish I could have escalated more, but didn't have the chance.

I am beginning to see the light in 'spinning plates'. I've been in relationships since I have been 15... 11 straight years now. One to the other. Most all 3-4 years in length. I thought it was the only way. Thought this sub, I've learned what I should be working on. I have money, an MBA, a fast car, but I still have much to work on. Confidence, social skills, and not just jumping to another relationship.

My now ex-girlfriend is apparently pursuing a LTR with Australian guy. She told me before he came they talked about kids and everything. I understand she is actually connecting our relationship and this apparent new one, and will most likely marry him, probably in the next six months. He's not even living here and she isn't moving there... she has a job as a teacher in a top 5 school distract in the country. I have no idea what she's doing actually. It makes no sense.

Learn from me and know that when you get into a slump, stay in your comfort zone, and don't pursue YOUR dreams and ambitions, attraction will go by the wayside. Work on yourselves, stay strong, and have relationships with women, just don't get head over heels with one.... when you do, you will lose. She will then hookup with anyone else she finds suitable. Anything you can't provide.

If you do choose a LTR, that's ok too, just keep abundant and pursuing you. Don't do what I did and get comfortable. You will lose then.

I can provide money, comfort, things like that... I was lacking giving her the emotional stimulus she needed like Australian guy did in Europe. I lacked the party (alpha) skills I once had when we met. I was absolutely 'the man' 3 years ago, but this relationship made me soft, uninteresting, and boring. I was comfortable getting my sexual needs met.

Although he is poor farmer, spends all his money on trips, drinking, and is mostly out of shape and a redneck, he is attractive to her because he's fun and doesn't care. She'll ultimately lose because things will most likely not work out... distance, age, whatever it is. He probably doesn't really want to settle down, but hey, what do I know.

Learn from me. At age 26, I was NOT ready for marriage and was being majorly pressured into it. I resisted and although it hurts a lot right now, I know it's for the better. I have 20 or so trips planned this spring, summer, and fall. I'd done 2 mini road trips so far and have had almost more fun than in the 3 years I dated this girl. I'm going to get more into car racing (a hobby I put down), and traveling. I was never a traveler at all, but just realized I didn't want to go to all the places she wanted to. I'm going to continue to work out, get stronger, and work on social skills.

Any other advice for me and my situation?

Thanks,