Hello everyone. I am a 21 year old university student. Both my parents' house and my campus are located in neighborhoods that are considered safe. However, I feel unsafe when I leave either of my residences because I am often approached by older men (late 30s to 50s). I would say that I am approached most of the time I go out, such as to the grocery store. In the past year, these situations have happened to me:

  • I was shopping and a man greeted me. I ignored him and kept walking. About 6 hours later, I saw him in the women's section of the store where I was. He asked for my number and I said no. I asked my friend to pick me up.
  • I've had numerous occasions of men trailing me in their cars. Normally I say I'm not interested and they leave. However, one time someone yelled at me to get into their vehicle. I wish I took down their license plate but I was too scared.
  • Some men are relentless when I ignore them or tell them I'm not interested. I tell them I have a boyfriend but that doesn't make them leave me alone.

I feel unsafe in these situations because surely people must understand that their actions are inappropriate. I always do the following for my own safety:

  • I dress very conservatively. I never wear shorts, anything with straps, or anything that shows cleavage. My dresses often fall below the knees. In the winter, I tend to stick to dark colors.
  • I never wear heavy makeup.
  • I never smile at strangers. I'm also naturally not an approachable person.
  • I travel with a friend when possible.
  • I carry pepper spray.

I don't think I'm attractive, and I am certainly not gorgeous. The neighborhood where I live (in a populated city) is certainly safe by most people's standards. However, I don't understand why so many older men approach me (people generally think I'm younger). Is there anyway to avoid such behavior because I can't bring a friend wherever I go? Or is this something that women just have to put up with?

Thanks in advance for any advice, /r/RPW.