Boyfriend mad at me for not doing what i say i am, advice?

Vellore992 · 2019-10-21T20:36:49+00:00

Why on earth are you letting a boyfriend tell you when to do his laundry?

N-wordExtraordinaire · 2019-10-21T18:40:25+00:00

if youre going to school and working, even if he’s doing all that too, you should definitely be splitting up chores

Slay_Like_Buffy · 2019-10-21T18:51:22+00:00

The keyword here is boyfriend. You are acting like a wife to a man who hasn’t committed to you. STOP. Stop and reassess your relationship every step of the way. Do not stress yourself out, waste your potential, or your good years on a man who may not be a good potential husband (that is on you to decide).

I’m from the school of thought that if a boyfriend or girlfriend does any household work that is an act of kindness not a duty. This includes cooking, cleaning, etc. Submission is a special gift saved for marriage. Before marriage you need to vet if this person is even worth submitting to.

Long story short: You are a girlfriend/roommate not a wife, ask yourself if you value kindness out of a man, and yes it’s a red flag

AloSenpai · 2019-10-22T08:29:47+00:00

Well this is really situational. If you have a habit of putting things off I can see someone will start to complain about that; rightfully so. However, it reads as if you do all the cleaning ‘n stuff. That’s a wrong situation to begin with. My wife and I (married for a year now, together 6 years) have divided the household tasks. We’ll sometimes be tired and not do shit. Sometimes both of us. And sometimes just 1 of us; in which case the other tends to do a bit more on that day.

Sometimes you don’t feel like doing stuff and that’s okay.

Sit your boyfriend down; tell him how his response made you feel and sort it out.

szsunshine · 2019-10-23T00:38:53+00:00

WTF does he care if you do your own laundry or not? Am I missing something? Are you supposed to be doing HIS laundry, too?

If he is mad at you for not doing YOUR OWN laundry - yes, this is a red flag. He is waaaaay to invested in your life, and a bit controlling. As long as your clothes are clean when you go out with him, then he doesn't get to tell you when or how you clean your clothes.

Now, if you do the laundry for the two of you, and he is out of clean underwear because you promised to do the wash and you didn't follow through, I can understand his frustration! In that case, you need to re-negotiate the division of labor. Maybe on weekends you both work together to clean, shop for groceries, and do things like laundry so that the rest of the week is easy. School is hard enough, school plus work even harder. It's understandable that things like laundry fall by the wayside.

FWIW, I know people who were constantly buying new underwear because they were too busy for laundry.

vintagegirlgame · 2019-10-23T04:50:08+00:00

My man has very high expectations/standards of himself and those around him, because of this if he’s in a bad mood he’ll sometimes get mad at me for things that seem small/not that big a deal. I don’t take it too personally.

But I do try to take feedback. I am guilty of yes-ing too much and overcommitting myself. I’ll say yes to too many things and need to learn to manage my time better. Eventually one little thing I said yes to but didn’t get to finish will kind of be the last straw and he’ll be disproportionately upset about it.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2019-10-23T18:14:37+00:00

Doing laundry is such a simple thing. Literally takes like 1-2 minutes to load up laundry and turn on the machine. Unless you’re hand washing your clothes he shouldn’t be upset about that.

But if this is an issue if you saying you will do things consistently and not following through then that is a larger problem that can erode trust in a relationship.

gimpgirl555 · 2019-10-21T18:46:06+00:00

Yes guys flipping out over nonsense is very normal.
What you should do, is you should try to discuss it with him and try to bring out the underlying issue, because it's probably not about the laundry, guys don't care about that.
My guess is that he has some other issue with you and he's using the laundry as an excuse.
But since he's brought up the laundry he might feel upset that you're more of a working and studying woman rather than the homemaking housewife he expected. Only he can't tell it to you straight for some reason.
My man didn't exactly like me going to school, even though he was the one who told me to go, and I totally didn't want to. So do check for that issue.

Title	Boyfriend mad at me for not doing what i say i am, advice?
Author	gotlove1234
Upvotes	0
Comments	14
Date	October 21, 2019 6:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/dl4ko3/boyfriend_mad_at_me_for_not_doing_what_i_say_i_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/boyfriend-mad-at-me-for-not-doing-what-i-say-i-am.292118 https://theredarchive.com/post/292118

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