"In every social situation, focus first on having a good time."

I started my self-improvement journey ten years ago, back in my freshers year of university. I was eighteen, struggled academically due to my disabilities, and could barely socialise. I had the mind set that as long as I got to go home and play computer games at the end of the day, nothing else mattered. One night, I was sitting in my dorm room watching some slice of life anime and thinking "Damn, I wish I had friends and fun times like these." I knew at that point I wanted to change, so from then on, I threw myself into every social situation I could. I had lot's of ups and downs over the next couple of years, learning lessons and picking up skills that most people had learn't at a younger age.

After five years, I started to really get into the swing of things. I felt my confidence and ability were average, I'd but there was still this underlying anxiety. My competitiveness with some acquaintances made me feel bad if I didn't pull, and I felt scared that I was going fall down the social hierarchy ladder if I didn't show to some events.

One night, I was at a hotel convention and was drinking with a load of new people I'd just met. There was this one girl, maybe a 6 or 7 in the group, who was laughing along and generally joining us in a good time, but I didn't really notice her. We decided to go join some other people in a comfy seating area, but after sitting down, I noticed that she was left standing, with no where to sit. Without thinking, I immediately looked her in the eyes, and patted my leg, indicating for her to sit down in my lap. She went ahead sat down, and I casually put my arm around her waist without thinking. We then spent maybe half an hour chatting and laughing in our group, I didn't even think about how physically engaged I was with this girl.

Eventually my drinks ran out, and at £8.50 for a double vodka and coke at the bar, I decided to get more from my room. I invited her to come grab some with me, and when I took her back to my room, she immediately slumped down on my bed without me even asking and suggesting. I scored that night, and shortly after I realised something.

"I got laid with one of hottest girls I'd been with, and all I did that night was focus on having a good time"

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Previously, when It came to girls and socialising, I had these pressures I put on myself that limited my enjoyment and how much my confidence shone through. After I realised this, I knew that in order to look confident, all I had to do was focus on having a good time when I went out. When I did, I enjoyed my time with other people much more, I connected with other people, I laughed more, I was a more genuine person and scored with girls much more often.

Ten years ago I'd have ranked myself a 3/10, but these days, I feel like a solid 9, and all of this is because I''ve learnt to enjoy my time with people. To those starting there journeys, and those that have been with us along time, remember, learn to enjoy you time with other people. When you do, that's when you will grow more, and that's when the best you will shine through.