Firstly, I sincerely appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this or make a comment.
The TL:DR version of this is asking how to escape a Red Pill and MGTOW mentality/thought patterns after being mistreated and harmed by previous partners. Is it too convenient to believe these things as a way to channel my pain? You can skip ahead to the comments if you don't have time to read.
A bit of background. I'm a 27 year old male that was raised as a Christian, and feel that I have a lot of integrity and have always respected women. I do not hate women, nor have I ever. My parents have been happily married and I am secure in my relationships with my entire family. I have never had any trouble in the past with making friends, being outspoken, and lean more towards being extroverted. I adore my mother, sisters, and many other influential females that I've met along the way.
I will keep this section brief because I am more focused on the present and future than I am the past, as I can no longer control that. I dated a girl for a few months in 2016 that was verbally abusive to me and loved name-calling. She was adopted and had lots of issues, and obviously this didn't last long. The next girl was essentially my dream girl and was completely enamored with her. I was always on my best behavior with her and it seemed like we both were very happy. At the three month mark, she quit talking to me out of nowhere. It came completely as a shock and I had no clue why should would have done such a thing. Towards the end of the next week, she met up with me and was very distraught. She started crying and admitted she used me for companionship, and said she only chose to date me "because she was lonely." This was definitely a hard blow that wounded me, and was also a shellshock to the system because I deemed her as one of the most sensible and morally strong women I had ever met.
Lastly, without giving myself enough time to heal, I entered a relationship with the last woman who was the opposite. As I got to know her more and more, the more I became disappointed with her lack of integrity, ambition, and her own baggage that she refused to acknowledge. I also gave her my virginity and realize how quickly things can get emotional and messy after that. In a nutshell, she had panic attacks in front of me, drove hammered drunk to my place, "accused" me of being a homosexual and then suddenly bursting into tears, and many other instances of insanity and self-sabotage. In the end, after freaking out one evening from my choice to spend an evening with my bro instead of her, she went out and cheated on me. One of my cherished best friends discovered her dating profile online and told me about it a few weeks later. After it was said and done, I never spoke to her again. It's been nearly two years since then, and I am a much happier and healthier man. And yes, I did do some therapy a few months later and that helped quite a bit. I am content in my single life, but I struggle with that faintest light of hope that "the right person" will come along and the pessimistic mindset towards the future.
In conclusion, after learning many hard lessons, I waited quite a long time to begin dating again. I went on two fun dates a few months ago and enjoyed myself. I didn't like the other person back, but I understandably get that not all women are simply "out to get me." However, I have chosen to completely withdraw from social media, change my number, and exclude myself from dating. All of my fears and "lack of control" seem validated in the Redpill/MGTOW community. I am not naïve or foolish enough to believe that women are the "evil creatures" that the RP/MGTOW community makes them out to be.
How can I avoid feeling like a victim? How can I escape the toxic validation that they are feeding me? I know in my heart that their mindset is fueled by so much anger and resentment.
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