Hi everyone.

I used to spend a lot of time reading TRP crap a couple of years ago. Since then I've almost recovered, but it looks like I'm having another relapse now, so your opinions will be really appreciated.

This time I'm noot fooling around with fickle theories and my brain concentrates on a single emotionally loaded thing: envy. I cannot stop thinking about all those people who had successful and happy relationships while I was alone and isolated. This thought is completely irrational, because my problem with socializing is not their fault in any way, and I cannot blame anyone for wanting to be happy, and still I can barely contain myself when I see romantic affection in others. People meet each other, have fun, find common things to do, and I just watch how this happens around me.

I'm 30 now, people are supposed to have children at this age in my country. Everyone I know is either married or divorced, and everyone just casually assumes that I have a girlfriend too. When people ask me about this, I cannot even answer this question and simply ignore it. I cannot let anyone know that the last time I've had any meaningful romantic connection was in 2009.

I understand that this is not the best mental attitude for someone who still wants to find relationships, but sometimes I can't help feeling like the only kid on the block who didn't get anything for birthday. This feeling is somewhat crazy for a 30 y.o. man, and it really sucks.