Is texting really only for logistics?

5beams5 · 2018-05-12T00:55:59+00:00

Unless youre a rock star she wont like texting/communicating just for logistics unless youre meeting up multiple times per week... and that isnt necessarily advisable if youre not in a committed relationship and just seeing who is out there.

In my experience, ill text a little everyday and leave one or two days a week for radio silence or near silence... just for good measure.

That may be dread heavy for someone new to the RP approach, but it seems to work fairly well for me. However, it only works with an abundance mentality, otherwise youll drive yourself crazy trying to coordinate the minutiae of your texts and communication.

BayAreaRPChristian · 2018-05-12T01:19:15+00:00

I like to keep texting light. We should be pretty occupied and driven men that we’re not spending a lot of time communicating important things over text. We have other more important things to do.

Therefore for me, I like to keep texts either logistical or short, playful, and flirty.

Deep_Strength · 2018-05-12T01:45:51+00:00

My opinion:

I used texting extensively in some of the women I dated and also with my wife (it was long distance, which I don't recommend... but then again it's hard to find a worthy godly wife).

For my wife I first messaged her over Facebook as some mutual friends told me about her. We talked back and forth for thousands of messages, then we went to text over the phone and did the same for thousands of messages + Skype before we were able to meet.

In person is best though, but it is possible to build a relationship well over FB/IM/Skype. Contrary to most secular RP advice.

If a woman is attracted and interested then she's going to be attracted and interested despite what medium. There's no need for lame rules about keeping messaging short, only using texting for meetups, or whatever. The main key is to dig deeper into her character and values, but also keep it fun and tease her at the same time.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-05-12T15:31:33+00:00

I think there is nothing wrong with texting for conversation instead of just logistics. But the key for me is your level of investment. So while having a conversation by text can be ok, if you start becoming emotionally over-invested in her response then that is where the danger lies.

It's also important to remember that text lacks subcommunication that in-person talks have, such as facial expressions, tone of voice and body language. All of these are HUGELY important for women especially, so without them it is much more difficult to convey what you want to her. It can also lead to misunderstandings if those things are not present.

Secular RP advice on texting can be very helpful in a lot of ways when you're dating. When you're married, it still works but must be tailored to your individual relationship situation. If you know your wife misunderstands easily, then text should mostly be for logistics. I don't think it's necessarily cut and dry like secular RP says, but they say that because too many men screw things up using text the wrong way. Obviously YMMV.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-05-12T17:45:44+00:00

Texts are for logistics. You don't entertain feels with text. If a woman emotionally dumps on you via text or has important conversations via text, what does that tell you.

Yes, I text my wife occasionally. I don't entertain long conversations - I actually call her to talk to her.

The phone call is quickly becoming a lost art.

Willow-girl · 2018-05-12T23:44:33+00:00

Text when you have something to say, and it had better be interesting, lol! Don't lead with stuff like "hi how are you?" and put the onus on her to meet your need for attention. (BTW, this applies equally to women.) Don't carry on arguments or disagreements via text; save that stuff for in-person or, at the very least, over the phone.

As in all things, accentuate the positive and downplay the negative. If you have the ability to be funny and/or charming via text, by all means, proceed. If it's not your strong suit, keep it to logistics.

Red-Curious · 2018-05-14T15:51:39+00:00

When I was in the 18-26 age range, it was all about IM. I had countless important and in-depth conversations over IM with my wife (and other women) that I now realize was more harmful than it was helpful. You'll hear advice saying that it's okay as long as you're tactful about how you handle it. I'd be weary.

Here's the thing: as I have often said here, women are creatures of desire. But they very rarely desire what's in front of them. Their desires are often oriented toward that which they fantasize about.

You're dating, she desire marriage.
You get married, she desires kids.
You get kids, she desires a bigger house.
You get a bigger house, she desires more kids.
You get more kids, she desires a bigger car.
You get the bigger car, she desires a bigger and better man.

Why? Because she realizes that you meeting all of her desires isn't curing the emptiness that she feels. That's why RP tells men to stop supplicating to women and start living for themselves. Instead of meeting their desires, make them adopt your desires. That's where true power in the relationship lies. And because you're the one setting the pace of the desires and where to go next, she never loses interest in you as long as you don't become stagnant.

Back to texting ... when you have conversations about texting, she doesn't see what's in front of her. She sees what her fantasy world creates. This can work for you or against you. If she's not attracted to you, you're the villain in her story and she'll read everything in a negative way. You try to text her a funny joke and she sees that childish goof-ball who needs to grow up. But if you are attractive to her, you can text her the exact same joke and all of a sudden you're funny and flirtatious.

To that end, attraction cannot be built on texting or IMs alone. At a best case scenario, you'll cause her to become attracted to her fantasy version of you, then be disappointed by the real thing when you don't measure up to the hype she created in her head. At a worst case, she'll find you creepy or sissy for opting to use a long distance medium over an actual phone call or in-person meet-up.

Now, I agree with what /u/5beams5 said - that if you're just dating and not meeting up every other day, there probably should be some kind of long-distance medium to keep the plate spinning. Text can work fine with that. But as has been noted elsewhere, less is more. Don't let her create a fantasy version of who she thinks you are based on your text messaging skills - for better or worse. Let her figure out who you really are. That will breed long-term success.

purifash · 2018-05-12T20:30:45+00:00

Yeah, txt her like her mom or girlfriends do, that will make you a man. /s

Title	Is texting really only for logistics?
Author	akohlan198
Upvotes	6
Comments	20
Date	May 12, 2018 12:18 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8isgpp/is_texting_really_only_for_logistics/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/is-texting-really-only-for-logistics.301929 https://theredarchive.com/post/301929

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