A woman wrote on r/RedPillWomen asking for advice for a young woman. At the encouragement of u/Red-Curious this post is built around my comment to her.

So what should a young woman do maximize her present and future happiness?

What things can she do to greatly increase the odds of finding a good man to share her life with and secure commitment and marriage from him? And to make that marriage last, and keep it brimming with happiness and contentment?

And, just as importantly, what should she not do that will help achieve these things?

Let's take a look:

Focus on your appearance.

That's the first thing a man will see before he ever gets to know you and your personality (instead of hearing about you from family, friends, co-workers, etc.)

Lose weight, if needed.

While almost every man has a "type" he loves or prefers, whether it be petite and slender, athletic and toned, or a woman with feminine curves, etc., it's almost never round or obese. This is not a knock or insult. It's a truth.

Improve your complexion and have it looking amazing!

Maybe try all natural skin care products for this.

While your body is important, and your figure will be highlighted as you wear certain clothing, the vast majority of the time he's not going to see you naked (and that should only be as your husband), so your face takes on more importance.

It's what he's going to see every day. Do your best to care for it and your skin overall.

Let your hair grow out, take special care of it, and keep it "made up" much of the time when you're out.

(Certainly nothing wrong with hair up, in a bun, ponytails, etc. at times, etc.) Yes, shorter hair can look great on a woman, depending on different factors, but most men love long, gorgeous hair on a woman.

Stay a virgin (if you are one) or keep your N count (notch count, or number of sexual partners you've had if you're not familiar with the term) where it is if you're not and do NOT add to it.

This includes oral, anal, your hands, etc. Stay sexually pure and keep your value in this area high. You have something very rare and wonderful in many men's eyes and this will be an advantage to you. It will also protect you from future pain and physical and emotional consequences of engaging in pre-marital sex, as well as guarding against lowering your value (RMV or relationship market value).

Have a healthy attitude and perspective about sex.

It's God's design. It's great! It's healthy.

And hopefully you want as much of it as you can possibly get, but only within God's parameters.

That means waiting until marriage and only being with your spouse. Then enjoy it like there's no tomorrow and savor every moment. Then do it again, and again...

Think on it from your perspective, from your spouses, and from God's. Let it be something you love and cherish and look forward to, and be "in the moment" and eager about it, and not just "fulfilling a duty." At times, that can have it's place, and it's better to do that and work to getting to an even better place, but having a wonderful, healthy perspective on sex will do you worlds of good.

Develop and hone a wide array of feminine traits and qualities.

From personality to homemaking skills. Cooking, cleaning, organizational skills, being cheerful, pleasant, optimistic, easy to please, a "soft place to land", comforting/nurturing, low-maintenance and more.

Do not accumulate debt and be frugal and wise with money.

You will save yourself a lot of stress and personal pain by avoiding as much debt as possible.

Plus, a man doesn't want to take on a woman who has mismanaged her financial affairs and comes loaded with a mountain of debt. He may still do so if your other qualities are great, but it often only adds misery to a couple and one one of the biggest things couples fight about is money and sex.

So be frugal and responsible with your finances.

Dress femininely.

A man loves a feminine woman, and this encompasses many things, but the way you dress can help catch and keep his attention, and it highlights your more feminine qualities you carry inside that he'll be eager to get to know.

Sit down and truly think through what you want in a man and what are your dealbreakers.

Think this through again.

Then internalize this and commit to it.

So when you meet a man and your body is sending all kinds of signals ('gina tingles and more), you don't make unwise decisions because you let it get to "the heat of the moment" and it's very difficult to back away.

[Quick bit of wisdom: Do you know the difference between a clever man and a wise man? The clever man, when he gets into a bad situation, can get out of it, because he's clever.

The wise man never would have gotten into the situation in the first place.

Or, stated differently. "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself, but the simple pass on, and are punished."]

Be a prudent woman.

Based on the above.

"See" where things are going, how a guy is (vet, vet vet him. Then vet again) and act accordingly. Don't be like the "simple" and pass on or keep going on that path, and get "punished" or suffer the consequences.

Work on any emotional traumas, past hurts, etc so you're as drama and baggage free as possible, and don't bring those issues into your relationship with the right man for you.

Look for and make a close friend(s) of the same sex who believe the way you do and hold each other accountable.

Sometimes they'll see things you don't and vice-versa. Make sure they believe the way you do. Their actions should match their words.

Make plans, yet let life happen within your parameters.

Don't say "I have to graduate college before I marry" or marry for sure before going.

Life happens. You get to choose, just don't follow a rigid path because you may lose out on wonderful opportunities you didn't take because it didn't "fit" your plans, and neither should you chase after something simply because you worry about your future options.

See what's before you. If there's an "open door" in an area of your life, and you have a peace about it in your heart and mind and it logically makes sense, go for it!

Make sure this matches up with your moral beliefs, your must haves or deal breakers, etc. and that you're not "hamstering" about some decision and seeing things that aren't there, but within your own parameters, and with the advice of good friends or family, move forward.

With the above in mind, consider marrying early.

It may not be the right option for you, but it might. There's so many factors at play here, but if you have to lean one way or the other, it's best to lean toward marrying early.

Now, the first man you date may be the right one and obviously, he may not. I'm writing this next part because when you're in your first relationship, there may be a tendency to latch on so tight and think he's the one for you!

He may be. Vet so carefully. Be patient. Just don't let the first time dating and all the emotional involvement get you so wrapped up you lose focus. You need to guard your heart.

I don't mean don't love. Just be careful before opening your heart and giving in to love. When it's with the right man for you, it's worth it beyond words. Just be careful, and cautious.

I'm sure they'll be others who comment below and add to this list.

Carefully and prayerfully consider each one.

One of the biggest mistakes is to dismiss them. They're here for a reason. It's easy to "love" some and think yeah, that's good or easy, I like that, and then think "Well, I don't agree with that one, for this reason or that."

They're either true and have real, lasting impact or they don't.

Of course, some may take on more importance in your life, or have a greater impact than another, or can be measured in varying degrees as far as rewards or consequences, etc.

That's all true. I simply urge you to think on each one, make your decisions and act accordingly. As the Bible says, "you reap what you sow" and this can be for your greatest good and happiness and pleasure, or it can be for unhappiness, regret and ruin.

As the old Crusader in the movie Indiana Jones said, "Choose wisely."

Edit: formatting to make it more readable and easy on the eyes.