Here's the backround. I have been with this man since early June. He has said that he loves me and I had said that I love him too.

He is married and has two small daughters. Says he can't stand his wife but stays for the kids.

He had told me that if I stay with him, he's going to divorce his wife in 10 years or less and then we would be together. I never liked the idea of waiting for ten years, but I stayed for a while because I had feelings for him and wanted him to be happy.

Last Sunday I took the decision to break up. I didn't want to wait for ten years but I also didn't want to pressure him to divorce. 2 days after the breakup he informs me that he talked to his wife about him leaving the house to live on his own. I told him that it is stupid to leave now and that he shouldn't breakup for my sake. At first he said that this wasn't about me but he later admitted that he was hoping we would cohabit in one of his mother's houses. He sent me some messages he exchanged with his wife and it looks like he really did tell her something like that. (perhaps nothing final, but it looks like he did indeed imply to her that he wanted to leave)

I am uncomfortable with this for many reasons:

  1. I had made a decision to end it and now he's making me have doubts again.

2)I don't have a stable job, I am working but I have a 4 month contract. I also haven't finished my degree yet. I live with my father and he pays most of the bills. I feel that I am not financially secure enough to cohabit with a man.

  1. Even though our relationship was great, we were still together for a few months only. I feel that he shouldn't leave his family for a relationship like that.

I asked him to give me some space to think and he agreed. I actually thought that he wasn't serious and that this was all a trick to bring me back, but now I am starting to believe that he really was serious. I just don't get it, we break up and THEN he does this? I am confused. I have feelings for him, but I am not sure if I am ready for such a big change and I told him so. We agreed that we should take a small break and think about it.

This sub has a rule against moralizing. I am not interested in hearing about how evil I am for being in a relationship with a married man. I have reasons to believe that his wife is not all that innocent. I just wanted to see what strangers think about all this since I have no friends myself.