What does FDS think of this short story? This dude was lurking outside her apartment, negged her outfit, and wasn't able to be patient while she dealt with her issues on her own terms and timeline

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-11-09T14:47:57+00:00

Okaaaaay. I just want to say that this is a commentary on the politicking of black women in Western society, particularly relating to our hair. And I’m saying this so that people get the full breakdown of the video, not glazing over the actual social importance of what’s shown.

Like, YES, the dude was tragic but the majority of the reason he was tragic is, like her friend that commented that she should grow an Afro like Beyoncé, said her hair was bad, and dragged her nasty hands through Sydney’s hair without asking, because he’s white and part of the culture that dictates how acceptable or unacceptable black hair is. He, like the majority of other races, doesn’t understand the trauma young black girls go through from basically the age of 2 regarding our hair and he likely, like most non-black people, doesn’t care to ever understand.

It also shows how ingrained it is even in the black community due to that politisation- see her mother giving up on her beautiful crown of coils and saying to just relax Sydney’s hair (chemically treat it to make it straight)and her mom and hairdresser laughing and saying the mom should have a child with a white man so the child could have “””better””” hair.

Long story short: black people do not exist to cater to Western standards of beauty. Never touch a black woman’s hair unless she explicitly, specifically asks you to touch it without your prompting or hinting. Don’t fucking ask either. Don’t comment on the state of her hair (straight, Afro, weave, braids, etc.) at all and especially don’t say “I like your hair better x way!!! Tee hee”

Level up and recognize that differences exist and do your part to make sure you aren’t acting low value by contributing to the patriarchy and microaggressions against your fellow queens.

betty_lou · 2020-11-09T00:30:16+00:00

This was an emotional roller coaster and I’m white.

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2020-11-09T03:32:38+00:00

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rosepinks · 2020-11-18T20:23:43+00:00

Honestly a great film & I'm glad it was shared here. It rly highlights the experience of BW at the intersection of race & gender. We have to deal w men negging us - as was shown in the vid along w racial trauma. Obviously no one is entitled to someone being with them if they aren't in a good place but the fact that this man just insists that "he was helping" yet gets mad at her for "shutting him out" shows that he wasn't truly being as patient and understanding with her as he says he was. This film also has lessons for viewers of all demographics. Black moms need to learn to STOP influencing their children to make them hate their hair (even if society shoves self-hatred down our throats, the least parents can do is combat it inside the home). Non-black women need to learn to STOP touching BW's hair. It's so invasive and is basically a microaggression at this point. Finally, there are a lot of interracial relationships w BW these days so this opened my eyes to how the non-BM in those relationships may struggle to understand what BW go through in society. This shows that non-BM w BW need to go into relationships willing to truly be patient as BW navigate trauma. Lastly, though this helps remind me as a leveled-up BW how men will literally take advantage of ANY insecurity I have and manipulate it to make me sound inferior. Although theres negative messaging about our hair, we owe it to ourselves to just do what makes us feel best and prioritize our own feelings before trying to date.

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