I’ve spent the past few months working on my looks and stuff so that I can get a boyfriend. I hit a plateau in my weightloss and it has really taken a mental toll on me because now I know I’m further away than ever from getting a boyfriend.

I know that casual sex isn’t an option, but when I think about the fact that I’m not going to be intimate with anyone for a long time I get extremely frustrated and angry. I feel like it’s all I think about. Every time I step on my scale in the morning I get anxious because I know whatever the number says will get me closer or further away from doing it. It’s starting to become an obsession for me almost, and when I think about it I usually have to take a long shower (my shower routine is already highly ritualized so it takes forever for me to shower) to stop thinking about it. Even after I shower the thought is still in my mind, just quieter.

I haven’t had a chance to talk to my dating coach about this, but on her page she says that a lot of women are hypersexual and have a masculine relationship with sex and I’m afraid this may be the case for me. Are there any other women who struggled with their extreme desire for sex/intimacy? What did you do chill out? How do I stop being so masculine about this? I know feminine women like sex as well but I feel like the way it consumes me is masculine. I almost don’t feel like myself when I think about it, I feel like a man.

I just made an entire left turn on my weight loss goals so “working on myself so I can get a boyfriend soon” would take months. I don’t know if I can deal with this feeling for another half a year. I took some advice from people here and I ramped up my diet and exercise plan, but I’m still so far away from having looks that can get me a boyfriend so I can make this feeling go away. I’m looking for some other solutions in the meantime.