When you ask a girl out and she can't, do you need to wait for a counter offer ?

muricanwerewolf1 · 2020-02-10T18:56:24+00:00

Do you want a relationship where you always initiate everything? If not, then soft next. Some girls are just plain lazy.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2020-02-10T19:06:41+00:00

I've been thinking about this lately. Sure, you may leave some pussy on the table once in a rare while by not asking them out a second time, but the key is filtering for medium-high and high interest women. Why waste your time with a chick who isnt enthusiastic about setting something up the first time? After all, you're the prize right?

aynullwithyourmom · 2020-02-10T18:10:43+00:00

Sounds like overthinking. If she’s busy just wait a few days/week to ask her to hang out again

Psychological_Radish · 2020-02-10T20:54:08+00:00

some girls wait for the men to do everything sometimes

No. That's a foolish rationalization concocted by the male hamster to explain why she never initiates. If a girl never initiates, it means she isn't that interested. Period, no exceptions.

So what happens when she turns you down with no counteroffer? Simple - I text back "next time" "okay" or something equally terse and ambiguous. Sometimes this is enough to prompt her to counteroffer on the spot. Once in a while she'll hit you up again in a few days or a week when she's horny. Most of the time, though - like 95% - there is no next time. So by all means, hit her up again in a week or two if you hear nothing, but don't get your hopes up. Girls who want your D won't let the opportunity slip away. That's a basic truism.

muricanwerewolf1 · 2020-02-10T21:45:20+00:00

The idea that you have a hard next after so many asks is the philosophy of losers. It’s the definition of outcome dependence, the idea that you never lose as long as you don’t ask. You’re also assuming lack of attraction, which is the opposite of “you’re the prize” attitude, which is very funny when someone here inevitably advises the dating equivalent of “your product is the shit but it’s not selling, which is why you should stop marketing it”. It’s also a negative assumption which ignores the vast assortment of possibilities why she won’t go out with you right then. She could have too many options at the moment. She could have one guy she’s set on, at the moment. She could actually just not be that interested, at that moment. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve slept with who over the course of months or years decided “you know what I do want to sleep with this guy”, because I’ve maintained contact. That doesn’t mean be her orbiter, keep your boundaries. It means you keep that kind of contact that says “I enjoy your company, but on the terms that I am gonna keep you at arms length unless it’s on my terms”.

It all comes back to a sales philosophy, unless they scream at you to never contact them again you keep coming back around until they say yes.

Now that doesn’t mean you’re hitting them up day after day, or even week after week. And if you get hard radio silence, by all means, take that one off your list. It also obviously doesn’t mean you don’t keep building new leads. It just means once in a while, you go back to the list of contacts in your phone and throw out some low investment offers. It’s as easy as “wyd?” Or “Quizzo tonight, come out!”Low investment offers are the shit because it shows you’re not hanging your hat on her involvement in your life, she’s free to take it or leave it. It’s not as obviously directed as “dinner tonight?” It means you can do it multiple times without things seeming weird, she might even suspect she’s part of a text blast you just sent out. That just might pique her interest.

vintageBiscuit · 2020-02-10T19:22:20+00:00

http://authorcloud.co/MrVs-Guide-To-Texting-Girls-dq16ldatn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

kingofboo66 · 2020-02-10T21:09:18+00:00

Ask her one more time in 2-3 weeks. Keep texting only for logistics. If she counteroffers you when you ask. Just say you'll be busy with the boys or with work because if you're actually doing what you must then you wont have time for her nonsense.

Internet-Troll · 2020-02-10T21:27:25+00:00

2 tries, 3 if you really like her, never know than 3

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2020-02-10T21:36:24+00:00

Stop "asking girls out".

Do cool shit and tell them they should join you. If they come along, great. If not, at least you're doing cool shit.

mt-atlas · 2020-02-10T21:31:23+00:00

Asking her out once a week in the beginning stages is fine, but once her interest level in you is high enough I'd let her initiate dates 2 times out of 3 (you can even go as far as 3/4 or 4/5 if she's comfortable with it). If she doesn't give you a counter offer ask her out again the following week, but no contact in between. If again, she does not say yes or give you a counter offer I'd soft next her.

macheagle · 2020-02-10T21:36:34+00:00

When I ask a girl out it’s usually asking her to join me in an activity I was already gonna enjoy doing myself alone anyway, so it’s more of an invitation to have fun with me and not asking her to do something that was meant for the two of us. It makes a difference because there’s less pressure on her end and I really don’t care all that much whether she joins.

If she says no she already had plans then I write back a little while later saying enjoy etc. If she valued what she was going to miss out on, she will usually say “but I would love to next time” or something to that effect. If she’s interested in you, she’ll tend to give you a way in. She’ll try to make things a little easier for you. If she’s stone cold with her rejections, either you’re not attracting her or she’s not interested, or both. And it’s up to you to find out why.

Most important, you should have fun regardless!

Does that answer your question?

Mouse1701 · 2020-02-10T21:52:01+00:00

as in sales salesmen do not take no for an answer. Give them a double binding statement assuming an agreement where they cant say no. Like say something like what do you prefer playing putt put or having a drink sometime. ok than i will pick you at 5.

madfrombrad · 2020-02-10T21:57:41+00:00

Find out if it was a curve or not with one more question. If it was a curve, soft next

IXseed · 2020-02-10T22:01:37+00:00

You're overcomplicating shit. Trying to hard to achieve a certain outcome.

Just do what you want. Who cares how you look?

2020-02-10T22:09:58+00:00

No, stop asking her. If she wants to go out with you, she will initiate it herself next time.

secureMPC · 2020-02-10T23:04:49+00:00

If you have dated before (even if just 1 date), then don't spent too much effort. If she says she can't just drop it until she offers a new date or never texts you again.

I do think it's okay to put a little more effort into girls you haven't met yet, as you may click when you meet (if you met them online).

zeitdruck · 2020-02-10T19:07:09+00:00

[removed]

Title	When you ask a girl out and she can't, do you need to wait for a counter offer ?
Author	lyniaa
Upvotes	43
Comments	33
Date	February 10, 2020 6:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/f1u78m/when_you_ask_a_girl_out_and_she_cant_do_you_need/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/when-you-ask-a-girl-out-and-she-cant-do-you-need.332066 https://theredarchive.com/post/332066

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