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I dumped my long term SO to find myself and went with another man, now rejoined the dating pool and can't find anything other than a fuck buddie in the largest city in USA, should I broaden my dating pool?

Billy_Sunsteel

December 27, 2018

151 upvotes

/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

http://archive.is/hJI6G

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Title	I dumped my long term SO to find myself and went with another man, now rejoined the dating pool and can't find anything other than a fuck buddie in the largest city in USA, should I broaden my dating pool?
Author	Billy_Sunsteel
Upvotes	151
Comments	88
Date	December 27, 2018 4:44 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/aa0r7q/i_dumped_my_long_term_so_to_find_myself_and_went/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-dumped-my-long-term-so-to-find-myself-and-went.347413 https://theredarchive.com/post/347413

Comments

[–]where_muh_good_mensSheriff Goodmonkey102 points103 points104 points 7 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

I found a new love for life and doing things I wanted when I wanted.

So, you didn't do anything to signal to a man that you are ready for commitment?

Now, I'm 32 have been online dating (seriously) for about 2 years and have had zero luck in meeting a LTR, courtship, or even a constant romantic companion.

And your standards are too high while looking at men who are only trying to get sum fuk on?

Now, there is nothing wrong with an occasional hook-up

Nevermind it didn't work out for you, hence your current complaints?

I constantly find myself in G-rated conversations

And men are now more careful than ever to avoid offending you in the slightest? That is interesting.

that take a sharp turn to random guy asking about my favorite position or aggressively complimenting on my body

But once he finds out what a slut you are, he 'opens' up just as well?

Not to mention I could make a deck of cards with all the unwanted dick-pics I've received.

Your value is in your ability to satiate a man. Or are these dick pics a signal that all men are trash to you? Yeah, I'm sure we both know where that is going.

There's no more finesse when dating (especially online).

Not for used up sluts. Hmmm. getting closer here.

If I'm not agreeing to sex during the first few conversations (no matter how much we seem to have in common) I'm automatically cast aside.

Ahah! You clearly understand your value!

I'm assumed a prude or too conservative because I don't want to talk about sex right away; when I'm the exact opposite.

Maybe you had this ability to be interesting to men before you aged out of your youth? Nahh, men are just not looking for good nurturing women these days, we'll go with that one, since by the end of this long diatribe, I'm betting you will be no more wiser to what has happened to you.

but I require a deeper connection before going down that rabbit hole.

Cats are said to be able to connect with humans on a deep level. Well, on the level that you provide food for them and they 'love' you for that... how oddly similar they are to [humans].

with the hopes that a man 32 has sewn enough of his oats and may want to get serious

Ahh yes, the elusive Chad who has had 'his fill' of sex and now wants something more meaningful. Surely, you aren't projecting... surely.

but I'm constantly being let down to the point where now, I set to expectations on anything.

Clearly you aren't finding the droves of beta males thirsty enough for your used up paddy puffer to put a ring around your finger first. Invisible the help is, I guess.

Outside of online dating, I'm in writing groups, hiking groups, running groups, I take mixed workout classes, I even took an cooking class that promoted a new online dating app- all with no such luck.

Chad doesn't ask me out. Wahnnnhhh

I know a part of it is that I also have a decent amount of standards

There it is!! I just knew you would come to this revelation sooner or later.

men that like me I don't find attractive, and vice versa;

Yep, you are alpha widowed. Ohh well. Again, cats will find you attractive, as long as you bring them food.

but my male friends (whom are very much like brothers without the DNA and have no problem telling me the whole truth) don't consider my standards out of reach.

Hahaha, they don't want to deal with you at all. Yea, I'm sure they are honest with you about your predicament. I'm sure that conversation goes just as smooth as a babies bottom. Also, I wonder how many of your "brothers from a different mother" you have slept with.

So is it really that living in NYC is the problem?

There are 2 million eligible bachelors living in NYC right now. The ones you want don't want you and the ones that want you are 'subhuman'.

[–]moorekomUrban Hoe Guerrilla66 points67 points68 points 7 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]where_muh_good_mensSheriff Goodmonkey26 points27 points28 points 7 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]moorekomUrban Hoe Guerrilla28 points29 points30 points 7 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

That's something we might have to wait and see. Are men frustrated enough to reject any and all sorts of compromise and demand traditional marriage or will they settle for something in the middle? It's evident that there's growing frustration and anger. CC riders were able to get a beta to settle down with just a few years ago. We are currently witnessing the lack of any guys to bail out these banged out whores.

Women follow a pretty predictable pattern. Notice how she was using online dating to fuck around and then joined meetup groups to get a commitment oriented guy when she was finally optionless? That's by design. Men have either moved to online dating completely in an attempt to emulate alphas and get some pussy that way or they have completely given up. That puts her in a dangerous spot. She will get pumped and dumped a lot further in her years without commitment than the sluts of yesteryear.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points40 points 7 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]_infinite_Thoughts18 points19 points20 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LawyerInTheMakingEndorsed13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]siriusisnessTaking deserted pussy off the market8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Helstromme6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MadMax29100 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mbrol67 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]moorekomUrban Hoe Guerrilla11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mutageno7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]korkyshadow9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SilverGryphonWorking his way to the titty top31 points32 points33 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]jigaboorainstorm4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst14 points15 points16 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

> I sometimes joke with my friends that I don't want a guy that looks too good. He'll be too cocky too flirty and will probably play with my emotions or break my heart. So I go for the average looking guy IMO. Nothing makes him stand out as overly attractive, I read what his profile says and I hope for the best. My range of what I find attractive is WIDE to say the least; hell I've dated a man that was shot as a child so his entire right side (leg and arm) was under-developed. I also went on a date with a guy that told me he cross-dressed and me trying to be "open minded" went on a date. The same DTF crap ended up happening. So when I say I don't have a type I really mean that lol.

This is a direct quote from her in a response to another guy who tells her that her standards might be too high. Now i will riddle you this what kind of a fucked up psycho do you have to be that men with PHYSICAL ABNORMALITIES are ghosting your ass??!? O_O Forget about chad and normal joe over there in the corner they ghost this bitch so quick the wind caused as an effect of their movement could lift a brick from the ground we are talking about seriously damaged men on psychological and physical level not wanting to form a relationship with you?

[–]R41nmakerSr. Hamster Analyst62 points63 points64 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

“Outside of online dating, I'm in writing groups, hiking groups, running groups, I take mixed workout classes, I even took an cooking class that promoted a new online dating app- all with no such luck.”

So she’s a marathon runner and has traveled, but she is also in all these groups/classes and has not attracted ONE single guy? I call bullshit - I can guarantee you that she is not attracted to Billy or Urkel and is longing for Chad/Tyrone. I am certain there are guys that would wife her up, but as she stated a few lines later, there are guys attracted to her that she’s not attracted to.

She also does not specify her living situation, whether she has any kids or a job, etc. Normally women will throw that shit at our faces like we give a shit, so my guess is that, at the very least, she is a single mother.

The wall spares no one.

[–]sleepyweaselisawakeNeighbor of the Beast33 points34 points35 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mutageno9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OverkillengineCasts Pearls to the Swine8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”51 points52 points53 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]empatheticapathetic10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OddPhilosopher11 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Pilkbods 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RedditRouge0031 points32 points33 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]FunkyCannaHigh12 points13 points14 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]theawesomethatis 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]FunkyCannaHigh7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]FunkyCannaHigh1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SilverGryphonWorking his way to the titty top28 points29 points30 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Let me translate for you.

I'm 32/African American/Female and I've been single for almost 4 years.

After my last relationship I took time to enjoy my new found freedom; I traveled, got into running (1/2Marathons and Full Marathons), started working out and writing. I found a new love for life and doing things I wanted when I wanted.

She dumped her boyfriend in the hopes of getting better dick in other countries but for some reason that failed. Maybe she was too picky?

Now, I'm 32 have been online dating (seriously) for about 2 years and have had zero luck in meeting a LTR, courtship, or even a constant romantic companion. If it's not men that are on the low married or in relationships, it's men that only want to have sex.

She then goes back to her home territory and gets tons of tinder matches but complains that they just want nothing but hookups. It is clear that she's mostly looking for a beta provider to lock down, but she's finding it hard to secure one. Perhaps she's just not as good looking as she thinks she is. Not to mention she's probably close to the wall (she's 32 after all)

It would seem to me that she's fine with the occasional hook up granted that they guy is hawt enough. She even admits it in her post:

I'm very much a sexual being, that embraces all acts of sexuality (a free-spirit is what I call myself) but I require a deeper connection before going down that rabbit hole. I don't want to give my body to just any person. (Call me crazy)

Now, there is nothing wrong with an occasional hook-up

I know a part of it is that I also have a decent amount of standards and sometimes the men that like me I don't find attractive, and vice versa

This is a typical case of an Alpha widow who is pursuing the dual mating strategy.

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst12 points13 points14 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. This 'lady' said it so many times through out her topic that 'she is ready to settle down now!' and that 'she is looking for a good guy' jesuse fucking christ! So basically she is literally like every other woman out there she fucked chads when she was younger she decided at some point she could do better try to monkey branch -> plan failed she approached 30 and decides to get off the CC in order to create a family and finds someone who is a good guy and when that fails it is men's fault.

Yeah it is men's fault you were a whore and when you should have picked up the right partner in your most fertile years you decided to fuck around also it is men's fault MEN don't want you now because they are aware that you have so many miles of cock run through you the mileage of their car will feel jealous!

And last but not the least i love it how these women say ''I don't do sex on first dates! I don't own men sex but somehow they ghost me for saying 'NO' to them!'' sooo... basically your body your choice but when it comes to men making the choice of not wanting to deal with you they shouldn't be able to say 'NO! FUCK OFF! LEAVE ME ALONE!!' ? And then she wonders why she is single... maybe stop running those marathons and start working on your vapid personality honey at this point it seems that your looks are not the problem your whole way of thinking is.

[–]ChiTownBobAnalyze this finger bitch!23 points24 points25 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lorem6300118Possey on lock anti-m'lady15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]empatheticapathetic4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I've never been to London, but from what I've heard the cities are pretty similar (not accounting for American culture vs British culture).

NYC used to be pretty cool when I was younger, now it just sucks. If you want to have success with women here, don't even bother coming unless you're 6ft+, white/black/light-skinned hispanic, and have a really good job.

I wish I was joking about the above, but I'm not. I'm 5'11" and get dwarfed by these Northern Europeans (tourists and immigrants), lol, and I'm also Paki so I'm basically not a desirable race. When I was younger this wasn't an issue for me.

My neighborhood used to have a pretty mixed variety of women (latinas, native white folk, etc). Now it's full of rich-ass asians, or white transplants. The native white folk, I never had an issue with, they were like everyone else here, just white. These white transplants though...they're all skinnyfat, tatted-up, piercings, 30+, etc. I heard one of them refer to non-white people as "people of color" and not in the racist way, but in the Ultra-PC way. And those white transplants ignore my brown ass lol.

Sorry for the rant, just giving you the cold, hard facts. I'm actually thinking of moving tbh, I don't feel like I belong here anymore.

[–]khrawn 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkeyOutlaw Evilmonkey19 points20 points21 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mbrol67 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]empatheticapathetic13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]askmrciaJr. Hamster Analyst2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TRP_Hoplite15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The main issue with this poster is that she's delusional. She's not ugly, but she's not very attractive either. I've seen what she looks like but won't say how, and I'd say, objectively as far a raw beauty, she's somewhere around a 4-6. But, she won't appear that attractive to a lot of men, as she has a style which she describes herself as Afro-Punk. This is not very feminine, so to some Chads she might as well be a 1-2 even though with a more traditional look she'd be much higher.

That's just her looks. Here's a quote from her elsewhere, I won't say where I found it:

I’ll say it again- like I said before; when I finally made the decision to end the relationship with my ex, I figured it wouldn’t be long before I met someone I deemed worthy. Fast forward to three years and countless dates later I am still single. In the post “(REDACTED)” I removed the blame from the men and placed a bit of it on myself. Not all the men that crossed my path were bad; some men were actually decent guys, but I found something wrong with them. The something I deemed wrong could’ve been as futile as him walking like a duck. Everything else about him could be perfect; but the chance of those feet being passed down to our offspring and them being picked on because of it, automatically disqualified him. So, last week I was in a debate with a former man I started talking to from OKCupid and he claimed that I was “disagreeable” and it was “no wonder” why I was single. This was not the first time I had been told this.

So you can come to your own conclusions as to why she is still single.

[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]FactCheckOnTheFlySr. Hamster Analyst12 points13 points14 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wathon2Sr. Hamster Analyst12 points13 points14 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]JJ3314Sr. Hamster Analyst9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BruchibreCheck out muh selfies4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Enthusiast_new 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Billy_Sunsteel 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Enthusiast_new 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 12 points13 points14 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ghustgan-4 points-3 points-2 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ghustgan-3 points-2 points-1 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]where_muh_good_mensSheriff Goodmonkey4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ghustgan 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Billy_SunsteelTattles on overly-sensitive snowflakes[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RedditRouge00-1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]where_muh_good_mensSheriff Goodmonkey7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ghustgan0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]_infinite_Thoughts4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ghustgan0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.”[M] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]where_muh_good_mensSheriff Goodmonkey2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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