I'd like you to meet two women, Molly and Jane. Both women are students at Third Tier University in New Nonutopia.

Let's talk about Molly first. She's 22 and about to graduate from TTU. After a couple of failed relationships and nonstarters, and a "mistake" or two, when she was 19, she met Jack. He was 23 and going into his second year at a master's degree program with an eye to going into academia. They've been dating 3 years and just got engaged with plans to marry after she graduates.

Jack and Molly get married 5 months after her graduation. She's 23 and N=4. He's almost 27 and finishing up a Ph.D. He's been doing grad assistant teaching and now has a job lined up at New Harvard State U, 1000 miles away. Molly is fearful about this, and hasn't lived far away from home. But she loves and trusts Jack, and when he finishes things up the following May with a successful defense of his dissertation, they take off for New Harvard.

Molly is 3 months pregnant.

Molly has her first child, a daughter, in December, at age 24. She attends grad school at New Harvard, which she can do on an employee discount because her hubby's on the faculty. She finishes up her master's degree while carrying her infant son through the commencement line, just for fun. She's now 26.

Then come twin sons 4 years later. At their birth she's just turned 31. She's done having kids. Jack and Molly are happy with their brood. He's made associate professor and is vice chair of the department. She's staying at home. She does, though, want to get back to working sometime.

So, at 36, when the twins go to Kindergarten, Molly begins working at a social services agency. She's got her license for clinical social work, so she does some part time counseling about 20 hours a week. In 5 years, when she's 41, she finally takes a full time position after her bosses had been begging her to go full time for the past 3 years, they liked her so much.

Jack and Molly have been married 18 years. She's 41, Jack is 45. Jack is now chair of the department and making a good six figures. They have a 17 year old daughter, a 15 year old son and 10 year old twin sons. All are doing well.

It hasn't been easy - she and Jack raised 4 kids on his salary alone for a long time. She went to grad school with a baby and then while pregnant. That was really tough on her, but she wanted to get her master's done, and she and Jack worked together, and they managed. They did without some luxuries she would have liked to have had. She doesn't get to see her family as much as she would have liked. Money was tight at times. They're finally making some real money and getting ahead. But she had Jack and her kids. And Molly is happy with her life.

Now, let's talk about Jane.

When we last left Jane, she was, like Molly, a student at TTU. Much like Molly, Jane also had some decent relationships along the way, a one nighter or two, and some false starts with guys that didn't work out. At 22, she's getting ready to graduate from TTU and has her master's degree program lined up at Yale. She worked really really hard for this and She. Is. Going. But her boyfriend of 15 months, Rich, wants to get married. He's got a job lined up in New Nonutopia. They talk about it. Rich suggests Jane can do the master's degree in New Nonutopia at TTU or even at the University of Nonutopia, which is a better school than TTU but not as good as Yale. It would be an hour's commute each way, though. Rich says they can marry, he'll work and put her through school either place, just don't go to Yale.

Jane turns Rich down and leaves for Yale the July after her graduation. They break up shortly after her arrival in New Haven. She's N=4, same as Molly at graduation.

With Rich out of the picture, Jane can concentrate on her studies. She comes out of Yale's MA program with flying colors, the salutatorian of her class. Her dating history at Yale looks a lot like it did pre-Rich - a few nonstarters, one serious. But nothing pans out. Jane is now 24 and N=8.

Jane then decides to go to law school and graduates at 27, top 10% of her class. She still has the same dating history. She's N=11 now.

She takes a top paying associate's job at Dewey, Cheatham and Howe making $100,000. She works hard. She meets, and dates, lots of attractive men. But none really pan out there either. She wants to get married but really wants her career too - it's going so well, and she's making so much money. She can wait. Right?

At 36 she's still single, but a newly minted partner at the firm. She's pulling down $275,000 annually, and working hard to show it. Mr. Right is nowhere in sight.

Then to age 42. Jane is in the prime of her career and pulling down $325,000 a year. She has never married. She has her pick of great sex partners. She has an FwB, and Jim, a guy she's dated off and on for several years. He wanted to marry her back when she was 36. She wouldn't. Jim offered to date her exclusively (he's never been exclusive with anyone), with an eye toward getting married. He wants kids, and Jane was the best prospect he could find, because, well, she loves him, and he loves her, and he's a fellow partner making about what she makes. Valuing her independence too much, and kind of leery because Jim's divorced, she balks at marrying Jim.

And so, when she gets to age 45, over her appletinis, Jane wonders what could have been. She wonders what her life would have been like if she'd stayed with Rich in New Nonutopia and gone ahead and married. She heard that her old acquaintance Molly is doing well out in New Harvard. Jack sure did well for himself, didn't he?

She wanted kids, but didn't get to have them. She wanted marriage, but that didn't happen either. something feels missing in her life. Just doesn't quite feel right. Jane can't put her finger on it. Hmmmm.

Oh well. Jane sighs and orders another appletini. Slightly buzzed, she'll take an Uber home. And then get up the next day to fight with stupid lawyers and do the deals. And the next night, Jim will come to her place, they'll watch a movie, maybe. They'll smoke a little weed, they'll fuck, and then Jim will go home.

Who got what they wanted?

Who did well?

Who's overall happier with her life, Molly or Jane?