I'm trying very hard to be a submissive wife. I've recently found my Christian faith as an adult, and that had helped me be a better wife and mother. However my husband is agnostic and very kinky to my mostly vanilla (but open to trying). We've been together for 10 years, married for 7. Just when I think we're on a good stride in the bedroom and I am being supportive of his kinks, something crumbles apart usually stemming from work stress, and we are having the same arguement again about how he doesn't believe I try hard enough to play in a kinky way and he is unhappy and unfulfilled with me. Then I get really hurt and withdraw deep in myself because I thought I had been doing fine. Religion has made this situation even more dire because I'm starting to feel that what he asks of me is counter to what God wants me to do- for example I want more than one kid and he only wants sex for gratification. I don't want to divorce this man, but I am facing my hard limits with entertaining his kinks. So here I am desperately searching for how to live happily ever after and not feel like a slave to sex that I don't want that way. How do I do this?

TL/DR: He wants me to research in my free time how to be a dominant woman so he can be a submissive, humiliated man. I feel like this is counter to our roles and it makes me sick in my core as a new Christian.