Why am i like this

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2020-03-12T23:38:57+00:00

If your behavior is consistent in this regard you may be shutting down these interactions because you may be afraid you will attempt escalating with the girl and it will fail.

Especially if you truly regret for awhile afterwards the opportunity that you did not take.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-03-13T02:05:13+00:00

if it's both chronic (sometimes, you may not be in the mood to be social, that's fine) and regretted later (ah, regret) then:

it's a defense mechanism.
you suffer from imposter syndrome / low self esteem, and feel fine in public as long as no one gets to know you / tests you

you need to learn that regret is worse than rejection (and it's a mutherfucker, you'll never forget the regrets sometimes). as I get older, i realize: regret is worse than ______. (and nearly anything can go in that blank space)

Snowboard18 · 2020-03-13T01:01:33+00:00

Just remember your going to die one day, so take action now while you can.

canib2 · 2020-03-13T00:35:47+00:00

I think you're subconsciously afraid of rejection or embarrassing yourself, and you're masking it under the guise of being picky.

Guys do this kind of thing all the time. They think a woman is attractive but they talk themselves out of interacting with them, usually by saying something like "she probably has a bf" or "she doesn't want to be bothered". All of those reasons are bullshit. They just don't want to be rejected.

You on the other hand, have rationalised it the other way by putting them through imaginary hoops in your mind, which they will inevitably fail because deep down you want them to. This way, you can say its not you that's the problem, its them, so now your feelings are spared. Meanwhile, they are off finding someone else to spend the night with.

If you really didn't like these people who hit on you, you wouldn't regret it so much.

xbluux · 2020-03-12T23:00:28+00:00

[deleted]

2020-03-13T02:51:49+00:00

Don't over think. Betas tend to overthink while Alpha's "just do".

Pickuupp · 2020-03-13T07:18:52+00:00

If you’re not sure you like them enough it doesn’t cost much to interact with them for a bit and figure that out. That way you also get to practice your social skills.

That sounds more like an excuse to cover up fear to me.

Blue-Raft · 2020-03-12T23:45:07+00:00

Maybe your standards are high? Not a bad thing, but how are you when you’re interacting with 8’s or 9’s?

empatheticapathetic · 2020-03-13T07:00:43+00:00

I have the same problem. I tend to need more investment from them that they actually like me and they’re not going to reject me the second I open my mouth, or that they’re just seeking validation for 5 mins.

I don’t really regret it though. I only regret the ones that really did like me and I didn’t do anything. And even then I don’t think regret is a bad thing. It gives you the courage to pursue harder next time because you have a frame of reference of what happened and how you felt because you didn’t choose to pursue.

I really can’t be bothered with shallow fleeting people and forms of attraction because it’s a waste of my time and just provides further negativity when it suddenly dies. She’s either fuck yes (and I am as well) or forget about it. If she’s fuck yes and it still fails? At least I tried when I thought it was worthwhile.

deeznutsbeswingin · 2020-03-12T22:56:17+00:00

Anger stage, depression stage.. I have done the same thing many times. Sometimes you just don’t want to deal with the bullshit that comes with courting a girl and that’s ok. You don’t have to fuck every girl you meet, more always comes along. Do what you feel like

Title	Why am i like this
Author	xbluux
Upvotes	8
Comments	14
Date	March 12, 2020 10:53 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fhpd48/why_am_i_like_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-am-i-like-this.354148 https://theredarchive.com/post/354148

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