Women arent as open and tolerant as reddit suggest

iamthechooser · 2020-03-11T16:45:19+00:00

You’re not chasing a woman. You’re chasing validation. So long as you try and chase this validation you will never be successful in your endeavors to find a woman appropriate for you.

off_brand_gobshite · 2020-03-11T17:09:21+00:00

Many men myself included have done the laundry list of advice and all I have really learned is that women put up a lot of barriers through and through and it gets kinda dehumanize again tiring trying to get through them just for something that they selves would never have to think about.

Boundaries are what healthy, sane people of any gender put up to safeguard their social and emotional wellbeing, and to prevent exploitation and abuse. They then, in turn, respect other people's boundaries. It can feel frustrating if we are raised by parents or in a society that dissuades us from having boundaries, or which grooms us into believing our wants and needs and autonomy aren't important. That might have been the case for you.

People say have a job but what people really mean is have a very well paying job

It might also mean "have a job that conveys your skill and passion at something, which demonstrates your capacity for critical thinking, impulse control, and willingness to work to a long-term goal". If your job isn't reflecting those things, ask yourself a) are you actually happy in that job and convey that happiness in your day-to-day life, and b) are you only attracted to women whose appearance, job or socialisation brings them into contact with men who earn much, much more - and would you be willing to compromise your attraction to a partner for someone who would have fewer problems with your job?

People say good Hobbies but what they really mean is get socially acceptable Hobbies

Yep. Social vetting is critical. The person whose hobbies are very niche or which bring them into contact with weirdos are people who may be poorly socialised in terms of behaviour and etiquette, who might embarrass them (especially if they are well-established socially). A person without social vetting by friends and a broad network of peers are liabilities of either sex. For women trying to avoid abusive relationships (and yep, geeky "unpopular" men can be just as abusive, if not more so, than other men), friends who seem more socialised and accepted likely appreciate norms of healthy relationship conduct.

People say work on yourself but what they really mean is go on an endless journey of no end. Just go to the gym and shower and do this and you'll be fine not knowing most average men do this already.

Yep. You don't stop growing and maturing. Not ever. If "gym" and "shower" is your version of working on yourself, you really are that guy who just washes his car and fills it with gas, ignoring the dangerously overdue oil replacement or timing belt fix. Counselling/treatment for trauma is only a starting point: professional currency, maintaining friendships, and tending to your health and wellbeing in other ways is the bare minimum. If you're not doing that, of course you're going to feel like some hollow husk of a man that needs to rely on a shitty pre-baked relationship script like TRP to get success with other people.

People say learn how to talk to girls do what they really mean is learn how to flirt effectively.

Assertiveness, humour, boundaries, empathy and situational awareness are all the microskills entailed within both good conversation and successful flirting. Beyond the initial pick-up line or interaction, how are you actually contributing to the conversation? Do you have broad declarative or general knowledge to make you topically interesting? Do you have the empathetic listening and questioning skills to get to know someone better? Do you have the conflict resolution strategies to navigate controversy or disagreement?

It honestly sounds like you dismiss all those really valid behaviours and skillsets because you don't possess them. You're unskilled and unaware of it. You focus in on your virginity and physical fitness because they're the things most apparent to you, but you're not socialised enough in even platonic environments to recognise the factors that prevent engagement with women.

Inareskai · 2020-03-12T10:55:05+00:00

Dude, maybe you should self-improve... for yourself? Instead of for 'results' around attracting women? You ran all those miles to get a healthy body which is good in and of itself regardless of if a woman suddenly wants to be with you. Also, if a woman only wants to be with you because you run, that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.

Do you understand how many men out there are in happy relationships that don't do any of the things you're claiming men have to do?? Literally millions.

wuboo · 2020-03-12T20:18:20+00:00

People say have a job but what people really mean is have a very well paying job

Have a job that let’s you live independently, meet all of your needs, allow for some of your wants, and save for the future. You don’t need massive amounts of money to achieve this. A plain old boring accountant job can accomplish this.

People say good Hobbies but what they really mean is get socially acceptable Hobbies

Nobody really cares if it is gaming or basketball or bee keeping. Just be able to talk about it in a way that is generally interesting.

People say work on yourself but what they really mean is go on an endless journey of no end

If you set unrealistic goals, then of course it will be an endless journey. Self improvement helps in all aspects of life, for your health, your career, your friendships.

Just go to the gym and shower and do this and you'll be fine not knowing most average men do this already.

True. But there are easy guides out there for how to pick stylish and appropriate clothing for different occasions. This is not hard to do.

People say learn how to talk to girls do what they really mean is learn how to flirt effectively.

At bare minimum be able to hold a conversation and recognize when a conversation is drawing to a close.

rayman903 · 2020-03-16T06:32:13+00:00

You can't get experience easily it is true but imagine god gave everyone let's say 10 experience as a headstart and that wouldn't change anything since if everyone gets experience, women wouldn't be attracted to anyone because of experience.

Title	Women arent as open and tolerant as reddit suggest
Author	defo18
Upvotes	4
Comments	22
Date	March 11, 2020 4:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/fgzwu4/women_arent_as_open_and_tolerant_as_reddit_suggest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/women-arent-as-open-and-tolerant-as-reddit-suggest.354477 https://theredarchive.com/post/354477

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