Many of the guys here want a relationship, not just casual sex. This post isn't for those who do not want relationships.

The most successful relationships are couples who both have secure relationship styles. People who have secure relationship styles know what green lights to look for when looking for a partner. They include a good close relationship with their family and having a varied and positive social circle. People that have those two things enjoy the company of others and are very unlikely to have the kind of mental health issues that are relationship killers.

What about N count? The amount of casual sex or serial short relationships is a symptom of social problems, which lead to relationship problems, not the cause. A high count is a indicator of a lack of positive social interactions, as is a bitter attitude.

Kids (I'm talking both sexes) that have spent their teen years locked in their bedroom hoping for the day they can get out of the house do not make good life partners. This is something that adults know, but young adults rarely think about.

They are not good partners because they grow up to do the same thing, isolating themselves and becoming upset over having their isolation imposed on. Sometimes in their teens and 20's during school, they might get a bit more socially active but by the time they are in their 30's and are not in the roommate, school, new job phase of life that forces new experiences and people.

This is not about being a introvert or an extrovert. Socially isolated teens without positive role models sabotage their adult relationships by reverting to the behaviours they exhibited as a teen.

This is why when a guy brings a new girls home to meet good mom, mom asks her about her family, and doesn't want you to date her if her answers are negative or avoidant.

As a teen who doesn't like spending time with your family, what can you do?

There are no easy answers, but here is what my husband did. He adopted his friend's parents as a kid. He worked for family run businesses like farms and corner stores. He learned to play the guitar. Doing this he learned how healthy families interact and has been able to take on that behaviour for the most part.

It sucks to go through social isolation, but there are a couple of things you can do (even in your 20's). You can seek out positive older role models and you can learn do to something you like that will always put you in the company of others in a positive way.

Positive means not spending the time with them saying negative things about others of course.