So what's the deal with the Slut Double Standard?

HrunknerUnnerby · 2015-11-21T17:17:19+00:00

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/the-fundamental-premise/

MyReddit4 · 2015-11-21T17:51:37+00:00

Other subreddits probably hate you because you type in a juvenile, accusatory manner.

Anyway, here goes:

1) It's acceptable for a man to sleep around for many reasons. The simplest being a biological phenomenon called preselection. Basically, when a man has a reputation for being popular with women, it naturally piques girl's interest. This is common in animals as well - they think "other women chose him - he must be safe/a good catch." Repeated success becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Examples: George Clooney, Russell Brand, anyone famous.

2) For a man to sleep with many girls, it requires effort. Most women DO NOT realize or understand this. They want the charming guy who seems to have everything going for him. They don't care to see the countless hours spent studying, working, or going to the gym which forged the character and laid the groundwork to become the charming man.

3) For a girl to sleep around, all she has to do is spread her legs. Women value COMMITMENT from men more than anything - that's really what your question is about and why you think it's a paradox. You're confusing sexual value with commitment. These are entirely different things. When a girl spreads her legs for anyone, but wonders why no guy will stick around - it's preciously because she has depreciated the value of her commitment.

4) A man sleeping with many girls is not a poor choice for a long term relationship. If anything, this helps a man recognize characteristics that make for a fulfilling relationship with one girl. I think if more guys had experience, they wouldn't be settling in sub-par, unhappy relationships with the first girl that acknowledges their existence.

5) In this day and age, sleeping around is more of a response or reaction to Western dating culture. With dating apps and social media providing girls a constant stream of attention and an endless list of suitors, the best some guys can do is hop in the boat and enjoy the ride no matter how long it lasts. If given the choice, I think most guys would readily commit to a worthwhile girl.

But, do you even stop to consider - even the most boring, plain Jane on my friend list will get 100s of likes for the most mundane selfie. Women have infinite access to men, as a result, a player's promiscuity is both a skill and adaptation. Did you ever stop to consider that a brainfart from a girl on social media gets countless shares and comments, while that same post from a man would be but a flicker in the endless stream of cat pictures and bullshit?

Hope this helps.

SexyActionNews · 2015-11-21T18:36:07+00:00

It's not a double standard. In the vast majority of sexual/dating interactions, women do the selecting while men vie to be selected. Not even remotely the same thing. A promiscuous man is one who met many women's standards, a promiscuous women is one who's standards include many men.

[deleted] · 2015-11-21T17:49:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LosingMoneyAllDay · 2015-11-21T18:01:22+00:00

Getting sex if you're a guy is hard work. You have to put on a lot of effort into seduction, lifting, looking good, and massive amounts of confidence and experience.

Men getting sex is like riding a bike uphill. Hard work. Hard pedaling.

Contrast to women. Getting sex is like riding a bike downhill. All they have to do is kick back, relax, and let nature take its course.

Sluts aren't respected because they are just being easy. They're great for single nights, but they don't deserve anything else.

Finding a women who is worth a damn does not have sex so easily, and with just anybody.

[deleted] · 2015-11-21T19:40:24+00:00

Simple. It's very easy to have sex with lots of partners as a woman. And it's very difficult to do so as a man.

Grimmov · 2015-11-21T20:49:12+00:00

I'm going to start with a very basic premise. You've been taken in by a fallacy that lies at the foundation of progressivist ethics, which is the idea that all individuals must be held to the same standards and treated identically, even when those individuals possess fundamental differences which make such a notion impossible to carry out in practice. In this school of thought, the value of an ethical viewpoint is determined by how "equally" everyone is treated. Your very complaint is that men and women are not being treated equally under what you perceive to be "Red Pill ethics." This premise is flawed on multiple levels.

First of all, The Red Pill is not an ethical system, and thus it does not proscribe any particular behavior. It describes reality. And the reality is that men and women are different, have different goals, and achieve those goals through different methods. This is why they cannot be held to the same standards.

In raw sexual dynamics (to say nothing of individual goals or differences), the GOAL of men is to sleep with as many women as possible (as long as they are acceptably attractive). This is because it costs a man very little to do so in terms of reproductive resources. The OPPOSITE is true for women. Their goal is to sleep with relatively few men, each of the highest quality possible (in terms of genes or resources), as the potential reproductive costs of each encounter are incredibly high. These evolutionarily engrained behaviors define the basis on which sexual behaviors can be judged-- not arbitrary moral systems made up millions of years after evolution had already set these dynamics in stone.

To make it very simple, the role of men is to be the key, and the role of women is to be the lock. An excellent key unlocks many locks. Only a poor lock can be unlocked by many keys. Thus, in every culture throughout human history, men are praised for sleeping with many women, and women are looked down upon for sleeping with many men. This is universal because it is encoded in our DNA. The Red Pill exists because some people are willing to grapple with this reality rather than obscuring it to appeal to a superficial system of ethics.

[deleted] · 2015-11-21T17:32:35+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbvrGiL_s70

This is basically it.

Philhelm · 2015-11-21T20:36:11+00:00

A key that can open most locks is a valuable key.

A lock that is opened by most keys is a worthless lock.

FortunateBum · 2015-11-21T20:55:19+00:00

TRP isn't a religion.

Some men like sluts, some men don't.

Personally, I like them.

So you think it's ok for a man to sleep around, but not for women?

Some men here think that, some men here don't think that. If you have a problem with people thinking different things based on the same evidence maybe you should stop reading things on the Internet and spend all your free time at church.

What if someone tells that a man that has slept with lots of women is a poor choice for a long term relationship as well? How would You respond to that?

I would ask, ok, what's your argument? I would be interested. I like hearing people's honest ideas and thoughts when it comes to almost anything.

BTW, I read your post and think, this is just some young woman who feels bad about sleeping around. If that's the case, look, this is your problem. People think things. So fucking what? It has nothing to do with you. If you want to slut it up, fine. Go ahead. Why do you care so much what people think of you? Why does it matter to you? Why do people come here asking this same question all the time? You are never going to make everyone in the world fall in love with you so stop trying. Welcome to life, grow the fuck up.

OMGTRIGGERED · 2015-11-21T18:01:22+00:00

I noticed that most guys on this subreddit seem to disrespect sluts and find them poor choice for a potential partner.

They are. See Stefan Molyneuxs video the truth about sex and marriage. Marrying a girl that fucked just 1 other guy ups your risk of divorce by about 15-20% as opposed to marrying a virgin. If you want a family, who should you marry then? The slut or the virgin? Its an obvious choice.

Meanwhile, you practice seduction, the art of getting laid as quickly as possible. You fuck lots of different chicks.

Yeah, but you dont care that I'm not a virgin. You like that I'm actually experienced and know what I'm doing. If you care then thats fine, I'm not the guy for you no big deal. Each sex has its own set of standards, guys want young virgins who will stay with them and give them kids, girls want an older guy with the most resources, status, sex appeal, emotional stability, experience, etc. Women also control access to sex, meaning if you let a lot of men in knowing that men want a young loyal virgin then you clearly aren't a good partner. If you were naive and didnt know then it shows you are gullible and easily taken advantage of, or simply unstable and unable to fix your ways. Men who constantly get laid are doing something right to get laid, meaning you're not failing to negotiate but succeeding in a way that you have access to her commodity (sex) without giving up access to your own (resources and commitment).

So you think it's ok for a man to sleep around, but not for women? I'm confused. Please explain the paradox for me.

See above. I believe everyone should have their own standards really. Do what makes you happy. When it comes to an LTR partner for me though, I've got my own set of standards to apply and that includes no sluts for the reasons posted above and more.

What if someone tells that a man that has slept with lots of women is a poor choice for a long term relationship as well? How would You respond to that?

See heres the thing, i dont really give a fuck. Women cant stand rejection though which is why you care so much. I can get my pick of the draw. I'm dating a Ukrainian who was a virgin until i came along, lives with me, cooks new dishes for me (and familiar dishes too, i never cook), cleans my apartment, satisfies me sexually and is loyal (we're almost never apart). I know i can get myself a woman whenever i want, i know if i really wanted to i could just disagree publicly and fuck the girl telling me I'm a bad choice (because this cockiness alone is already enough to fuck at least 90% of amerisluts). I dont care because i also have decades to have a child unlike women who have 12 years or so after high school.

PLEASE, LET'S NOT ARGUE.

If you didnt want to you shouldnt have posted.

If you think I'm wrong in any of the things I said, please prove me wrong, correct me and explain, instead of insulting me and downvoting without explanation just because you disagree.

Hahahaha you actually care about downvotes and the opinions of strangers online. You poor girl.

I mean, I genuinely want to learn about this topic.

No you dont.

I am NOT here in order to prove you wrong or something, that's not my intention. My intention is to dispel my doubts.

Its self validation about your own past. Am i correct?

I'm not a blue pill activist, that's not the case.

But you keep whipping yourself, god damn this is almost as bad as pro refugee germans.

Why did I include such detailed disclaimer? Because some subreddits hate me for no reason, offend and downvote me without any discussion. I don't want You guys to do this.

She wants to be in the kool kids klub guys, do we let her in?

Kathulos · 2015-11-21T19:35:53+00:00

Women are the gateway to sex. Men are the gateway to commitment. Its a mans biological role to obtain sex. It is the women's role to guard her sex from unworthy men and to obtain the commitment of the man she finds worthy.

Two different standards for two different genders. With different goals.

Your welcome for wasting my time responding to your shitty post that adds no value to the community.

Stop with the shit posts and read the fucking side bar.

Sir_Distic · 2015-11-21T17:26:27+00:00

I think, for most of the guys on this sub it breaks down like this.

We like sluts. For plates. But not for LTR.

As for me I prefer sluts. I want a woman who loves to fuck. Even if I get into a LTR. But then again I'm into open relationships and poly. So she'd never be the only one.

That's my take on it. I can't speak for anyone else.

[deleted] · 2015-11-21T19:53:39+00:00

I noticed that most guys on this subreddit seem to disrespect sluts and find them poor choice for a potential partner.

Men are hard wired to avoid promiscuous women for LTRs because of their diminished ability to pair bond and commit sexually to one man, making it more likely that she'll cheat and less likely that she can guarantee paternity of his children.

There's a biological explanation for this. Women experience the release of the bonding chemical Oxytocin during sex. Oxytocin release and the resulting bond to a woman's sex partner is strongest in her earliest sexual experiences. As a woman has more and more sexual experiences, she can develop a tolerance to Oxytocin, making it more difficult for the release to occur during sex. Over a long period of casual sex activity, Oxytocin receptors in the brain can become dulled or even damaged, impairing a woman’s ability to pair bond. This can result in dissatisfaction with long term relationships and sexual boredom.

The Teachman Study demonstrated a strong negative correlation between the number of pre-marital sexual partners and marriage stability, probably because of the effect of pre-marital sex on pair bonding described above.

MattyAnon · 2015-11-21T19:53:59+00:00

So you think it's ok for a man to sleep around, but not for women? I'm confused. Please explain the paradox for me.

Sure thing, I'll explain it to you:

Men and women are different

That should be enough. It's good for women to have breasts, it's bad for men to have breasts. It's good for a man to have a penis, it's bad for a woman to have a penis. A successful man sleeps around (and women find this attractive), a successful woman is choosy (and men find this attractive). It is just different.

Once you accept that men and women are different, you can start to reason about this for yourself. It is not a double standard, it is two different standards. Only female sluts and male virgins fail to appreciate this.

It's just different... and until the modern age of so-called equality this was fundamentally understood.

Yes, we want to bang lots of women. And yes, we don't like women that have banged lots of men. We want to bang lots of virgins (or close to it) and women want to bang the hottest men possible.

Obviously it is impossible for all women to bang the hottest man and all men to fuck all virgins. It is a competition out there. We compete. The modern age has hidden this from your brain, but don't be fooled - the competition still continues despite your awareness.

What if someone tells that a man that has slept with lots of women is a poor choice for a long term relationship as well? How would You respond to that?

With statistics. More partners means a woman is more likely to divorce (this is well established). More previous partners does not affect a man's marriage (also well researched).

Also... men care about their wive's history and sexual conduct more than women do. It is a fundamental truth about what men and women want.

OP - No downvote, but no upvote either.

Deapluv · 2015-11-21T20:24:41+00:00

Both men and women have dualistic mating impulses.

Women have the much discussed AF/BB impulse, where they are attracted to alphas for short term sexual flings, and attracted to betas for long term resource sharing and family rearing.

Men have a virgin/whore impulse, where they are attracted to whores for short term sexual flings, and attracted to virgins for long term resource sharing and family rearing.

This dualistic attraction impulse is in everybody (including you) and is a fact of nature so you better come to terms with it.

A common criticism (which it seems like you're taking a roundabout way to get to) is: "if you're so critical of sluts, why do you guys create them by fucking so many?"

This misses a key point, that we love sluts, we are only critical of their potential as a long term partner, someone we would want to share resources with or raise a family.

I wouldn't get an electrician to fix the plumbing in my house, and wouldn't trust a plumber to fix the wiring. I'd get the right person for the right job. Which job they want is up to them...

Archwinger · 2015-11-23T16:47:46+00:00

People always feel smart pointing out this "hypocricy" or "double standard."

Most men do not want to marry or commit long-term to a slutty woman. The men that do so tend to be the men who don't have other options. However, most women don't care as much about a man's sexual history. So it's most women who aren't enforcing the standard.

The Red Pill didn't invent this double-standard. It's not a Red Pill thing. The Red Pill just notices that this is how society currently works and exploits it accordingly.

Here's the real deal: The Red Pill is about becoming a powerful, confident, successful man. Hitting the gym and getting physically fit and awesome-looking, excelling professionally and getting rich, practicing your social game and becoming well-connected, learning useful skills and interesting hobbies. Essentially, becoming a bad-ass man that lots of women want.

When you're a bad-ass man that lots of women want, you have options. You can do whatever the fuck you want. There are 3.5 billion women on Earth. So you can fuck all the sluts you want, and when you feel like something more, you can insist on a good girl for a long term partner. Because you're a badass, and you have options. You don't need to seriously consider a slut as a potential partner, because you have ten other women who want you, any of who are better than that slut in every way, including not being a slut.

Let men who don't have a choice end up with sluts. Valuable men have options.

[deleted] · 2015-11-21T17:59:59+00:00

It isn't a double standard, it one trait being applied to two seperate issues. The trait is promiscuity and the issues are 1) sex and 2) commitment. If sex is all you are looking for then the easier the girl, the more likely you are to succeed. However, if you are looking for commitment (including exclusivity), then you always have to wonder, if it was this easy for me, and everybody else, how do I know it won't continue to be this easy with her in the future? True, the past is no guarentee of future performance but it is a good indicator. So, a girl who doesn't give it up easily is a better risk for commitment than one who gives it up at the drop of a hat. But, the latter is better to puruse if all you want is sex.

AurelianWay · 2015-11-21T18:02:20+00:00

Its not a double standard. You're asking this question from a misguided egalitarian perspective. Men & women ARE biologically different as are their sexual strategies.

Women use sex to lock down commitment & resources from a man.
Men use resources, utility, wealth, charm, game, & social status to get sex from women & if she's worth it she might get commitment.

zyl0w · 2015-11-22T00:02:08+00:00

Okay here goes my attempt at explaining with a simple analogy. A key which can open and lock is a good key but a lock which can be opened by any key is a shitty lock.

[deleted] · 2015-11-22T01:13:16+00:00

copy-pasting another comment of mine:

Biologically, men are not burdened by pregnancy. It ensued sperm is cheap, in abundance and men seek sex before even food or rest. Biologically, women are burdened with pregnancy. It ensued eggs are few and far in between, limited in numbers, and the cost of pregnancy is huge, so women evolved to make a careful selection of their sexual partners. Sure birth control has evened the field a little bit, but this biological difference resulted in massively different psychologies of attraction that are still there:

a man that is successful with women shows to that many women are willing to let him impregnate them, therefore he must be high value. That's preselection, and that's why it's the most powerful weapon in your game toolbox way above even looks and social skills.
In contrast, a woman doesn't have to do much to be successful with men since they're all pressing her for sex, but her apparent success signals to men that if she get pregnant, you have little certainty that the child is yours. That's why men are very happy having sex with sluts, but definitely not committing. And that's the real reason why women hide their N count, have Anti-Slut Defense, don't want to be kissed in public and the universal "I don't want you to think I'm a whore" Last Minute Resistance. It's not "cultural gender roles from the patriarchy", it's just a natural reaction: if men see you're a slut, they will be less inclined to commit for biologically-driven psychological reasons.

And there you are. Women are instinctively attracted to a man who lies with many women, while a man is instinctively repulsed by a woman who lies with many men. It's absolutely obvious when you think about it. But of course it only makes sense if you agree that men and women are different and that our psychological differences originate from biological differences. If you believe, in the face of science that "everything is cultural", that "gender is a social construct", you'll never see it, and if you're a woman, you can keep on sleeping around if you want, and complain about the "double standard!", and maybe one day "slut shaming" will be made a criminal offense and men will stop doing it... but that won't magically make men wanting to commit to you anyway.

juliusstreicher · 2015-11-23T09:21:19+00:00

A. There is no paradox. Grab a dictionary.

B. Double standard for two disparate objects. There is no paradox, OR conflict.

C. Read the sidebar.

D. If you are pissing about being downvoted, you are in the wrong place. Votes, up or down, have no currency. This isn't Youtube or Facebook.

E. Also, women being whores raises the chances of a husband being cuckolded (for downside of being a cuckold, you will have to do more research, or check with your homies). Further, raising another man's child, without consent/knowledge, is something upon which most men frown. Women are never in danger of being cuckolded. Is this a "double standard" that you need an answer to?

F. You sound like a troll, even with your disclaimer. If you had been on this sub as much as you intimate, you would know that the first step is to read the fucking sidebar.

G. Most men here don't hate sluts; they do, however, scorn them as wives and as serious LTRs.

What if someone tells that a man that has slept with lots of women is a poor choice for a long term relationship as well? How would You respond to that?

I, personally, would say "Haven't you read any of this sub?" and "Read the sidebar." And, " 'poor choice' is vague, and a matter of opinion/choice. It would depend on what one wants from a relationship. However, what men want from an LTR is pretty much at odds with what women want, which is what would make a man a better choice than a woman with a notorious past." The science proves/indicates this. It's all in there. The direction that the answers are pointing, tho, is this: Women with a lot of previous partners are a poorer risk for a faithful, enduring, "white picket fence" type of relationship. Men are better risks. See sidebar.

For an LTR, in and of itself, and "poor choices", see other posts in this thread. And, read the sidebar.

CultivateYourHunger · 2015-11-24T07:57:31+00:00

Men use resources, utility, wealth, charm, game, & social status to get sex from women & if she's worth it she might get commitment.

In other word, woman have to trade sex for commitment. If she gives away sex for free to every guys, why would the guys ever want to commit? Why would a guy ever commit, if she gives the sex for free? Why would anybody want to pay for a car, if the car dealerships keeps giving cars away for free?

The reverse is true for guys. Guys have to trade resources for sex. This means, if a guy has a lot of resources (a rich guy), he can trade tons and tons of resources for tons and tons of sex. Which means he can go around sleeping with tons of woman. This also means a woman can tell which guy has the most resources, by looking at how many women a guy slept with. The more women a guy slept with, the more resources the guy has. AND woman would want the guy with the most resources. BUT, she don't want the guy to share his resources with other women. In other word, she want him to be exclusive to her, to commit all his resources to her and her only. And the way for her to do this is to not give sex away for free. To withhold sex, so that sex with her become much much more valuable, so valuable to him, that he'll commit all his resources to her. BET you just learned the true meaning of commitment with this explanation.

Anyway, as a woman, if you've been giving sex away for free in the past for nothing in return, you're doing it wrong. All the other girls already figured it out, and got their hot boyfriend to commit (to become their husband), by not giving away sex for free, so as to make sex with her much more valuable, so valuable, that he'll commit exclusively.

So if you're a woman, and other women tells you to slut it up, it's a trick. They're trying to make your sexual value less valuable by telling you to give it away for free, for NOTHING in return at all!!! And the funny thing is, so many women fell for it. LOL!

EpicLevelCheater · 2015-11-25T07:04:18+00:00

This belongs in /r/PurplePillDebate or /r/PillsCollide, not here.

Charlesthehamster · Sat Nov 21 18:06:08 2015 UTC

For me, it's not that there's a double standard. It's the I have NO standard for guys. I'm not dating them. I'm not trying to get with guys at all. I don't want a long-term relationship with them or them to be the mother of my children. So, I don't give a shit about what they do and have 0 standards or judgments. Go get your dick wet, good on you. I am trying to pick a good woman to be a long-term partner, and sluts make shitty fucked in the head partners, for reasons gone over a thousand times here. Why would I care that juice is sour when all I drink is milk.

Fafner2 · 2015-11-21T21:08:20+00:00

I totally agree with what you're saying-- there is a double standard and I've addressed this before. Sadly every male hamster here will say something to the ilk of "oh a woman likes her guy more experienced! oh you're wasting your potential if you're not fucking more than one woman, etc."

A guy who fucks multiple women also shows a lack of commitment and self-control, just as with the case of a slut. Such a man isn't good LTR material--- just as a slut would compare you to every Chad, you'll compare her to that great threesome you had in the Summer of '09.

Title	So what's the deal with the Slut Double Standard?
Author	ultimatewpierdol
Upvotes	0
Comments	58
Date	November 21, 2015 5:14 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3tplr3/so_whats_the_deal_with_the_slut_double_standard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/so-whats-the-deal-with-the-slut-double-standard.38309 https://theredarchive.com/post/38309

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