Dude was 40. Had been struggling with drinking for 10 years. Had a falling out with just about all of his friends and drank himself to a place where he got pneumonia and couldn’t recover.

Last time I saw him was 16 years ago and he wasn’t doing good then. Last time I talked to him I got after him for hitting his dog. Dude died alone no kids and 3 cats.

Don’t let drinking or drugs take you from the people you love. You’re worth more than that.

Right now I’m alone. I have no friends. I’m fucking broke on the other side of the country and all I want is to be with the people I grew up with. I miss having a family and friends that gave a shit about me. I grew up in hell but these people were always so good to me.

And I feel like I have to go to work in an hour on no sleep just to make ends meet.

FUCK. I HATE THIS.

Just really having a tough moment and you all are the only fucking ‘friends’ I have to tell about it.

Just, fuck, no words. No fucking words.

Edit: thank you for kind words

It’s so much more than just a death of a friend. He’s another casualty in the war on men. He was raped by a female teacher in HS. His family doesn’t know. To the best of my knowledge I was the only one and maybe one other who did know. Last time we talked was a long time ago. He pushed everyone away and just stewed and drank. His parents are a wreck and they’re good people, like really good people. His sister is a mess. Like their family has been through so much. His dad nearly died in an industrial accident when we were kids. Like years of recovery, full traction, broken back, that cage thing screwed into his skeleton to hold his head in place. And his mom stuck with him. It was really hard on their kids. Union totally fucked them over on health care. They’re together. My friend, it just was a 1-2 punch psychologically. Another of our friends was murdered in another country and that sent him spiraling and he was never the same.

And whoever said ‘therapist’ get fucked. There are no therapists for men.