My girlfriend is a sexual abuse victim and won't have sex with me.

foreverstuckinDEL2 · 2017-01-07T16:59:10+00:00

Honestly, break up with her. It's hard to have a relationship with someone who has been sexually assaulted or raped.

HobKing · 2017-01-07T17:24:25+00:00

Jesus Christ. Some of you guys are obsessed with the "alpha widow," "women love being raped," etc. tropes on here. Rape can actually be traumatizing.

OP, you need to get out and fuck other women... broaden your horizons. She will be there, and if you find someone else and have to move on, then so be it.

If she needs years to get over this, you shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to wait that long. Perhaps someday a few years from now she will be able to have regular sex, but it sounds like it won't be with you. It sounds like a case of bad timing.

I know it doesn't feel this way right now, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Getting on Tinder and getting out there is 100% the right thing to do.

valdirtheblue · 2017-01-07T17:17:27+00:00

'She doesn't care'. Neither should you. It isn't your job to fix anyone. Bail, seriously. Consider your own happiness. Be a man, put yourself first. Sidebar >>>

DigitallyDisrupt · 2017-01-07T17:19:31+00:00

Unless you are in college to be a shrink and you want this to be your first professional failure, leave now.

MusicSports · 2017-01-07T17:31:10+00:00

Get out asap.

My first gf also got abused as well, but the details were hazy. She didn't hamster much and told me straight up how it was for her: The idea of sex with a dominant, abusive guy was exciting, but she also needed emotional intimacy, which she obviously could not expect from such a guy. I started out as the former and ended up as the latter. Once you're the latter there is no turning back.

daskairi · 2017-01-07T22:40:40+00:00

My friend, the girl is the least of your problems. Drop the girl. Go monk mode. Lift. Don't talk to anyone until your balls drop and you know who you are, for Christ.

Some of cats here are telling you she's fucking other dudes, or enjoys rape secretly, etc., and true or not, it's irrelevant because a) nothing can fix her except for her (if even), and b) even if she were deeply in love with you and fucking no one else and even if she were fucking you, she'd still be fucking an apparently confused, needy, fairly clueless young man....which leads to the next point:

A lot of dudes here are suggesting you fuck other women--this is putting the cart before the horse for at least two reasons: a) it ignores the fact you're already in a mode where you need pussy for validation and b) you're probably going to fail because you are the type person you are right now and it's probably obvious to every woman you will ever meet in your current bitch state, especially in broad daylight, sober.

My suggestion:

Ditch the girl for both of your sakes. If your friends haven't been calling you a bitch for staying in this relationship, ditch them too. They're either bitches themselves or liars, or not really your friends.

Lift. Eat. Learn. Improve yourself. Become a different person, then try again.

Mitchell78 · 2017-01-07T21:41:51+00:00

Are you for real? You're in a very bad situation, 2 years already. I love her... bla bla bla. You should have avoided getting into a relationship with a sexual abuse victim. Seriously break up with her.

MrBellsprout123 · 2017-01-08T04:13:36+00:00

I think she's lying to you. If a girl wants a guy bad enough she will have sex with him. Riddle me this:

If Justin Beiber took her out on a date and tried having sex with her, would she say "Sorry, Justin but i'm an abuse victim and can't have sex with you."

Fuck no. Break up with her, she's using you.

NeoreactionSafe · 2017-01-07T17:11:31+00:00

She's what we call an "Alpha Widow".

The sexual abuse is still exciting to her as all women crave rape... especially if it was really hot and sexy and overpowering. (she cannot come to terms with this and is in denial now)

Women are designed to be submissive and rape is part of their programming.

However... in your case she sees you as a "comfortable beta" who in her mind she imagines you are like a best girlfriend.

She doesn't Tingle with you... you are non-sexual and always will be.

Frankly you need to dump this girl and read the Red Pill for a significant period of time because at the moment you know very little.

But on the bright side at least you are here and getting good advice.

Your whole worldview will need to be awakened to the truth.

TimeIsDollars · 2017-01-07T18:30:25+00:00

You are lying to yourself.

RemindMe! 1 year

MusicSports · 2017-01-08T01:25:39+00:00

Why are you in this relationship?

This is a friendship. That's it. And she doesn't mind if you screw other girls.

This is toxic and you are better than this. Don't let your feelings for her and wanting to save/help her fuck you up.

Wallace68LeMay · 2017-01-08T03:53:50+00:00

Hard next, delete and block everything

mummersfarce_is_done · 2017-01-07T17:08:13+00:00

Fuck other women. Are you new here?

MusicSports · 2017-01-07T17:24:03+00:00

Majority of advice here is "break up with her", because it's the path of least resistance. This guy just another nut trapped in a shell.

daskairi · 2017-01-07T19:29:03+00:00

My friend, the girl is the least of your problems. Drop the girl. Go monk mode. Lift. Don't talk to anyone until your balls drop and you know who you are, for Christ.

Some of cats here are telling you she's fucking other dudes, or enjoys rape secretly, etc., and true or not, it's irrelevant because a) nothing can fix her except for her (if even), and b) even if she were deeply in love with you and fucking no one else and even if she were fucking you, she'd still be fucking an apparently confused, needy, fairly clueless young man....which leads to the next point:

A lot of dudes here are suggesting you fuck other women--this is putting the cart before the

TJ

[deleted] · 2017-01-08T00:06:09+00:00

Tell her you want sex and dump her if she says no. Put yourself first.

Or just break up with her straight up.

myschadenfreude · 2017-01-08T00:15:29+00:00

This is harsh, but you need to hear it: dump her. 1 - You are not a medical professional. 2 - If you were you cannot treat your gf, you'd need an outside professional. 3 - This is the harsh bit, she's damaged and there will always be damage. You are in no way obligated to fix her, you didn't break her, you don't have the tools to fix her. Don't toss your life away, focus on college, your grades, your life.

TL;DR - Rip the Band-Aid off and cutv your losses, it's doing no one any good

If it's any consolidation, I am sorry for you both, especially her. You have a chance still.

cloudmax40 · 2017-01-08T07:45:39+00:00

There are lots of pretty young women close to your age out there. Find one you click with and fuck her instead.

is something she doesn't want to deal with

Her ability to be intimate is her responsibility. She is unable (or simply unwilling) to participate in an intimate relationship with you. Look elsewhere.

MrAnderzon · 2017-01-08T08:04:00+00:00

Break up and block all forms of communications. And don't explain yourself.

newName543456 · 2017-01-08T20:19:44+00:00

Why do you want to work on it?

Just get on with Tinder girls and forget about her. MUCH less hassle.

yomo86 · 2017-01-09T09:16:31+00:00

Either way BS or not - no sex means she is not honoring her own covert contract. Like a bad debtor who gives bad excuses or legit reasons it is not the foundation for further providing the specific performance on your end

On a side-note: I have been called a sexual abuser for breaking up with a plate who LMRed me thrice.

Title	My girlfriend is a sexual abuse victim and won't have sex with me.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	75
Date	January 7, 2017 4:58 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5mleji/my_girlfriend_is_a_sexual_abuse_victim_and_wont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/my-girlfriend-is-a-sexual-abuse-victim-and-wont.39764 https://theredarchive.com/post/39764

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