TLD;R: Friend asks me to be groomsmen in his wedding, then slacks in our friendship. Expects me to pay over $1,000 to attend his wedding. I back out, keep the money for myself.

About a year ago a college friend of mine asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding. We had been good friends for a while and did the typical dude stuff- drinking, played/watched sports, car talk, etc. I was not at all surprised, as he had been simping hard for the last couple years over his first real girlfriend. I had been coworkers with both of them in college, and while being boring, she seemed like an alright girl. However, what I didn't know was that she is a complete control freak. The MOMENT they got engaged, everything changed. EVERY social media post from either one of them (and there has been a lot) in the last year has been an engagement photo, repost of an engagement photo, picture of her $5,000 ring or some generic picture of them with a caption of "Only XX days until I get to start the rest of my life with you". I have seen him once in the year+ they've been engaged. They live 15 minutes away. He's always "too busy planning the wedding". Now since he's my boy, I brushed it off for the first several months. Then I started getting annoyed with how much they were asking of me. I took off a day of work to go to their "wedding shower", where they received gift number #1, cash to use towards their honeymoon. Then, I was told to pay $200 for a hotel reservation for the "Bachelors Weekend". (No food, alcohol or activities included) $200 for the suit. Oh wait, gotta get them a wedding gift, right? Shiiiiit, gotta take 4 days off work total for the bachelors weekend as well as the wedding itself. Also have to reserve a hotel for the wedding weekend. I did the math, this shit is going to cost me about $1,500. I'm currently saving up for a cross country move in July. I don't have time or money for this shit. I've been busting my ass full-time in school and work. Now I'm seething and barely managing to bite my tongue over the situation and how ridiculous it's become.

That's when a message goes out to the groupme from the groom to the groomsmen, asking if we had all reserved a hotel for the wedding, bought our suits and paid our share of the bachelor weekend reservation. This is less than a month after all of this was dropped on us to begin with. This stuff alone is like fucking $600 at a minimum, with coupons and shit. Nobody has done it yet, because nobody in our circle can just drop that kind of money without prior planning.

So, I text the best-man, another friend of mine and ask him if I'm the only one getting pissed off about how micromanaging the groom is being, even though we both know it's her pushing him to do it. Oh man, apparently I opened up the flood gates. Turns out he's also fucking pissed about how much this is going to cost, the micromanaging, her controlling behavior. He was the one who had to setup the bachelor weekend and said he's stuck because he wants to do fun stuff, but knows that no one has money for this shit so he's trying to fill it with free/budget activities without it being lame, which would fall back on him.

So, I tell him how I've been feeling. She doesn't talk to me ever, I think shes a control freak, obsessed with the concept of all the attention being on her for a wedding and he's an idiot for buying into it. He agrees 100%. I wouldn't say he's MGTOW, but he's all about calling women on their bullshit and staying in his lane to work on himself. I tell him, I've seen the groom once this past year, other than the wedding shower. He's sent me one text that wasn't about the wedding in that time. He hasn't maintained our friendship and I feel that he's taking my attendance in this wedding for granted. The best man agrees with everything I said.

So, I text the groom and bride to be, telling them I will not be attending because it has gotten far too expensive. I believe it is excessive and they could use that money for much more productive things than a single party, on a single day. He is the only one who replies, saying I could not attend the bachelor party "if cost is an issue". No no, my friend, the best-man already reserved it under the pretense than a certain number of guys would be contributing. So, I will be paying him my share, because I talk to him almost every day and he has been a great friend to me. I will not back out of my promise to him in order to attend your wedding. Best of luck in everything, but I am moving cross country and I have serious doubts that I will ever see you again after you join married life. She doesn't even reply. Instead, she texts the best man trying to get him to convince me to still go to everything. Typical manipulation tactic. Except, she doesn't realize he feels the same way as I do, so he took a screenshot of their conversation and sent it to me. He wants to back out as well, but he's too much of a nice guy for that.

So, all in all, I wiped my hands of their "friendship" because they've blown me off for the last year only to obsess over this single day, which is still a few months away. I did not buy the suit, reserve a hotel, request time off work, get them a gift, etc. I will be keeping my $1,500 and putting it towards my moving fund. I'm trying to buy a house with a yard for my doggo to run around in, as she's much more deserving. She actually puts effort into maintaining our friendship :)