The Female Narcissist - leads men to their demise

Masupilamii · 2017-02-12T00:11:35+00:00

I had a narcissistic girlfriend. She was the reason I found about the red pill. Those women are dangerous. Hot, they understand you and you feel like you've met a person who truly gets you (which later turns out to be nothing but manipulation)

Those women have many weapons and they WILL use them sooner or later. Narcissists act out in three different stages : phase 1 is the evaluation phase where they put you on a pedestal, they love you like no other woman has done before and it will seem like they would do ANYTHING for you

This changes in phase 2 - the devaluation phase: this phase tend to start when you've been with her for a couple of months. She becomes bored (note that NOTHING you will do or say will prevent her from feeling bored. It will happen eventually) you will notice that she will be moody, she will stop giving you compliments etc. There are also 2 manipulation tactics narcs love to use - silent treatment and gas lighting. She will block communication as a way of punishing you, especially when you call her out on her shit.

Gas lighting : Lets say you had an argument with her about her bitchy behavior last week. You call her out on her shit but she will refuse to apologize. Instead she will try to change the story making you feel like you are the one to blame for her behavior, making you question your own reality and sanity.

This shit tends to work because you, as a sane person cannot understand what the fuck happened to your once so lovely and caring girl. People who are easy targets for narcs are often people with low self esteem who would do anything to try to get back the girl she once was.

After draining the narcissistic supply off their targets the last phase Beginns : the discard phase -

They will throw you away like you were nothing to them (which is after all very true)

Red flags of a narcissist:

Things are way too good to be true way too early. They will shower you with compliments, make you feel like a king. This is not normal behavior ! Be careful!

They will try to learn everything about you: do not think that she does it to find similar hobbies, interests etc. She does it to see what kind of weaknesses and insecurities you have to use them against you later.

They make friends very easily but don't have any long time friends: pretty self explanatory- those people only care for themselves. How can you have long time friends when the only thing you do is take take take.

Everyone but herself is to blame : narcissists can not take any form of criticism whatsoever. Their whole disorder is about this. They will deflect blame whenever they can

This was a long answer to your post but I'm glad to see that someone is warning men here about narcissistic women.

lqtys · 2017-02-11T07:54:03+00:00

You literally described my mother and my entire childhood and a big part of adulthood in the full article.

Masupilamii · 2017-02-11T18:23:31+00:00

As someone who lived under a narcissistic single mother until 17, I believe narcissism in women is one of the finer points of TRP. When my father passed at a young age, my mother had no problems at all with attacking any good memories I had of the guy and trying to create a narrative of her own, all at the expense of the relationship I had with him. Once I was old enough to start asking questions, she had answers. I, young and impressionable, eager to defend what I thought was my mom's honor, hated him with a passion for the longest time... and she saw that, feeding into it. Her plan must have gone better than she ever hoped it would: I can only imagine her glee as she paused her rhetoric, for a moment, to marvel at the ball of sheer resentment she'd created.

I will never fucking forgive her for that. Between his memory and her ego, her ego came first. Basic human decency played no part here, and wasn't even factored into her decision. The man was dead and could not defend himself, and she still had no problem tarnishing his memory so that she could better pedestalize herself as a victim. I spent my formative years despising him until I learned the truth from other family members about what kind of man he really was.

I am hardly the first to come to TRP with this background, which likely comes as no big surprise to veterans here. Narcissism, I think, is the perfect word to describe what is promoted in women in the West. It's on masthead, in media, among our culture, and most of all, straight from women themselves. There is much to be said about someone who eats so much of their own bullshit that they savor the taste. How else does one even begin to describe the inordinate amount of value and importance that they routinely place on themselves otherwise with any other term?

For that matter, how many more men will get with a woman and experience the trappings of NPD? How many more children will have to put up with a "role model" who says vile things, does vile things, on a regular basis? How long will this go unchecked, even permitted, by society at large? Worse still, how many more sons will get what I and countless others have had to live through: the denigration of our late or missing fathers, in which during the best years of our lives, we actively hate the one who worked and suffered for our betterment? And at the end of this gamut, when we discover all too late that we are twice dishonored -- an ingrate and a sucker -- what do we do with the anger that pushed away so many, and acted as a crutch for so long?

[deleted] · 2017-02-12T05:46:00+00:00

I feel like what leads most men to TRP is a Cluster B Personality Disorder woman- either BPD, NPD, ASPD or HPD. Lots of research still being done on all these PD's and no one fits perfectly into either of them. PD's are on a spectrum and often people have traits of several, including other clusters. PD's are also comorbid with mental illnesses and other sorts of dysfunction. No one with a PD is worth being engaged to romantically IMHO (like alcoholics, addicts, non-medicated mentally ill) and those with BPD, ASPD- run, this is false accusation city.

Fir3start3r · 2017-02-11T15:03:39+00:00

I was with a covert narcissist for almost 20 years and had no idea.
I knew she had baggage when we started but like a good co-dependent / man I wanted to help fix her and become her white knight.

She was a highly intelligent, beautiful woman and I had built her up so much in my head that I became fearful.
Fearful of abandonment/isolation - my family had moved across the country so I had no local family to support my decision to leave the relationship.
Fearful of an unknown future - my fairy tale present (at the time) felt more comfortable than my own unknown future. Where would I go? How would I live? This fear paralyzed me more than the personal hell I was going to being with the NarcEx. If she thought I was getting close to that point of leaving, she'd love bomb me and I'd simple crawl back into that cave of despair.
Fearful of my own self worth - I lacked the confidence that I'd ever find someone else that would replace this woman that I had created in my head and truly loved me, the real me.
Ego- I didn't want to be just another divorced guy. I had sunk a lot of years into the relationship and I'd be damned if I was going to throw that all away.

Eventually we moved across the country ourselves to be closer to my family who I found out could see right through her from day one but they all bit their tongue because they thought she was making me happy.
Being with a Narc is like being that frog in the pot of slowing boiling water - the frog doesn't know about the heat until it's almost too late - it's comfortable to start with but eventually it becomes too much and even the frog doesn't know why. They just know they're really uncomfortable - you don't know what you don't know.

The psychological damage and emotional trauma these types do is unfathomable to most people. It's done over time with a lot of 'Gaslighting' and denial - almost to the point where you actually believe them.
Their actions absolutely define who they are despite the words coming out of their mouths. When I would tell friends/family my experiences with the NarcEx they're simple left dumbfounded and then outraged. I don't even have to try and convince them how I'm feeling. In fact, it was them that were telling me how I should be feeling and that the situation was far from normal...

In short, if you even find yourself in kind of relationship - run
There is absolutely no helping these people.
Their own warped sense of self and how they want to be perceived by the world is something they will guard at all costs. When push come to shove, they will push you off the edge of the cliff if it meant them having to actually look themselves in the mirror, get 'help' and admit they have a problem.

Flash forward to today and thanks to my Men's Al Anon group (the NarcEx is also an Alcoholic - Dry Drunk), my family and my friends, I was able to leave the relationship, spend time on fixing myself (my co-dependency) and start dating again. I'm now with a woman who loves me unconditionally, is a good friend and the sex is unlike anything I've ever had before.

It is possible to get out of such a black hole relationship but it will require a long, hard, honest look at yourself too. It's simply not enough to blame the other and as shitty as they may be, you picked them for a reason.
You risk becoming a repeat offender and will simply jump into another pot of boiling water if you don't understand why you have such a broken picker when it comes to women.

LightBearCares · 2017-02-11T14:33:34+00:00

I'm currently reading "Rethinking Narcissism" by Dr. Craig Malkin and it's definitely a fascinating topic. I'm reading it because I have more the reason to believe that I am a narcissist. Anyways, the book goes on to say that narcissism is not entirely negative and is like a spectrum, with the goal being to find moderation and balance rather than a "just don't have it at all" choice.

whatsthisgarg · 2017-02-11T18:25:28+00:00

With the narcissist, the person can be extremely charming and personable then they will switch and start transferring blame onto their victims.

I'm trying to think of a woman I know (or have ever known) who is NOT a narcissist.

I'll get back to you if I think of one.

sir_wankalot_here · 2017-02-12T15:02:44+00:00

I met a female covert narcissist a few months ago. I'm pretty much her polar opposite - codependent, empathic, 'spiritual' - and that's why I believe neither of us experienced such strong 'chemistry' before. Our initial meeting was quite literally a blast.

Anyway, soon enough she made my life a living-fucking-hell. It was the strongest pull-push I've experienced. I thought I was going insane, wanted to kill myself... But I always kept thinking "if I'm feeling this way, I don't even wanna know what she is going through, on daily basis..." - that's what they do to you...

but something about her, despite her most subtle/evil techniques of manipulation, made me stick to my guns; I knew that there's something very pure and innocent and lovable in her; even if just a tiny potential..

I knew I was so attracted to her for a reason.

I broke up with her like 3 times and we (she) always resolved it somehow.. but then one day, at the very peak of the runner-chaser stage (guess who I was) I said "fukkit" and told her everything. It was the most vulnerable I've ever felt. By releasing all my control, she realised that I cannot be controlled - and I guess that was a new thing for her.

I told her goodbye, and offered her unconditional love, which she most likely never recieved before, and told her that I'm always going be here for her. ofcourse I got no response, but one thing I know; she will never forget me.

anyway, it felt fucking good (eventually), giving away all my power. She sucked the life out of me, and instead of trying to take it back, I gave her what she couldn't take in the first place. Even though I wanted to tell her zillions of times how much I loathe her fucking guts... I knew what I ment when I told her that I love her; and it made me feel like a rock. I doubt anyone can really break me after this.

I still think about her, even have dreams, but she doesn't have power over me anymore. I still believe she will someday reach back to me, but I don't really look forward to that. She's learned me a lesson I'll never forget and I'm grateful I met her.

Mckallidon · 2017-02-13T03:52:24+00:00

Avoid narcissistic women. Go for really insecure ones who have a hard time looking away from the floor. Bingo.

sickofallofyou · 2017-02-11T10:44:09+00:00

I know a lot about this

Okay so narcisists are people who have no capacity to refill that "emotional/mental" energy in healthy ways. Healthy people, they eat well, they exercise, have friends, families, lovers, hobbies, etc that they use to pick them selves up when they get down. But not narcisits. They're empty shells and the only way they can feel better about themselves is to raise themselves higher, or lower the other beneath them. Power, influence, control. Lies, cheating, abuse, manipulations.

They're disgusting human beings and you should exclude them from your life who ever they are. In fact I hesitate to call them human beings because I don't believe they have a soul. I get physically sick around these people now when I meet them because I know what to look for. Some 3/10 fatty friend of my friend's wife tried to hit on me, started touching my arm being maniupulative and trying to exert social power over me at a party and I just yelled out "no i will not sleep with you" and humiliated her. Thats how you deal with these fucks - go right for the jugular and call a spade a spade. But they will try and fuck with you (bitch tried to push me down a flight of stairs) so be mindful.

https://www.sonsofnarcissisticmothers.org/sonms.html

thewrightstuff88 · 2017-02-11T13:21:57+00:00

My ex was like this, however I think a majority of women nowadays are like this with the feedback they get from social media (likes, swipes, views, etc). They think they're hot shit but don't realize that their posts are forgotten within minutes, so they keep posting, keep looking at the numbers getting higher, keep thinking more highly of themselves versus others.

Also, in my pre RP days, when my ex was asked questions that required a logical answer, such as things pertaining to the topic of relationship equity (which doesn't exist), she would be silent, and act like she didn't know the answer. Now I know that she did know, but she did not want to say it because that would require her publicly acknowledging her actions, and would have subsequently attacked her ego, which most women can't handle.

feminists_are_dumb · 2017-02-11T21:09:09+00:00

Huh. Didn't know that about the TOS. They stick all kinds of shit in there don't they?

The Female Narcissist - leads men to their demise

What is a narcissist?

Narcissist sees themselves as perfect

The narcissist projects their ego onto the world

Comments

Title	The Female Narcissist - leads men to their demise
Author	sir_wankalot_here
Upvotes	55
Comments	27
Date	February 11, 2017 5:30 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5tcex5/the_female_narcissist_leads_men_to_their_demise/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-female-narcissist-leads-men-to-their-demise.40807 https://theredarchive.com/post/40807