I've grown up in a VERY beta atmosphere. Much of my childhood has been emotional and physical abuse, really fucked me over for a while. Met my first girlfriend and thought she was my world, 2 years and 1 sexless year later, after spending over $10K on a girl who showed me numerous red flags that I ignored, I find out she cheated, continued to cheat, done some nasty things along the way. Ok, fine, we break up.

3 days after breaking up, devastated an understatement, I stumble upon TRP. I cracked open some books and got to work. It's been about a year since the breakup and I've gotten so much out of my journey so far. Life's never been better, people respect me more, I have an abundance mentality, and I'm killing my last year of school.

I've been talking to a couple of girls lately. Recently this one girl really grew fond of me. Hung out with her a couple of times, ended up taking her virginity. Maybe she lied about being a virgin? Way too much blood for it to be a lie, but hey who knows, maybe she was maybe she wasn't. Not really my problem.

She gave me a valentines day present and really pushed for a relationship. Showed every sign, told me she wants me to stay with her, etc. I've kept AWALT in mind, didn't think much of it, but she started coming to the gym with me and I think hey, she's cool, so I'm thinking maybe over time if it develops into something then I'd be okay with it, short or long term.

She texted me as I'm driving home and told me she broke her laptop. I'm a Computer Science student. I tell her I'll stop by. She knows I'm VERY busy, I told her I'm working all night. Guess she expected me to come later cause I showed up at her dorm, knocked on her door, and she opens it surprised. She's sitting drunk with another guy, smell of alcohol is strong. I walk in, say hi to the guy ask his name etc, really friendly. I ask him if he's ok, he looks a little red. He gets up and leaves to check himself in the bathroom and doesn't come back LOL. In my mind, I already downgraded this girl to the list that will never be anything more.

So I immediately start working on her laptop. Silence. She's looking at me trying to get my attention. Silence. I spend no more than 5 minutes, fix her laptop, and get up to leave. She stops me, push her against the wall and make out with her for a minute, she's breathing heavy, begging by giving me her ear. I have work to do, I have to go and I left.

Driving home, I can't even explain the liberating feeling I had. First time I considered a relationship after my ex (who is my only ex), and a year ago I would've been going into panic mode wondering why she's with another guy.

But now, I simply just don't care. She gives good head, she's tight and I'll still fuck. But anything more? Nah. AWALT. She thinks she can lead me on. But for the second time getting into this situation, first being my ex, I have to say, nothing feels better than not giving a fuck.

A 1 Year journey is just the beginning. I still have much to learn, I'm still young, I'm only 22. But god damn have I never felt so good. This girl's here sending me Snapchats and I'm drinking some coffee doing my work. Thanks to the lot of you, life is fucking great. Stay woke boys.