I have been naturally red pilled throughout the first 18 years of my life. My family came from a difficult backgroud and I knew the importance of education and I didn't give a single fuck about girls or relationships during my high school and was focused on my studies. Had a great reputation and well respected by everyone in my school. Topped my school, was in the top 0.1% in my country after graduation, easily got into one of the best university.

I've decided to start dating after I began my university and slowly gave into the blue pillled mindset that society fed me.

I met her in the first week of my classes. Immediately I realized that she was the most beautiful person I've met (My first mistake) and decided to talk to her in next week's class. I managed to gather the balls to talk to her and got her number and we talked for about a week. I made my intentions clear by asking her out for lunch and she politely told me that she has made plans with her friends and won't be able to come(which I already knew was an excuse). I was wise enough to see through her bullshit and told her it's okay and stopped talking to her

AWALT. She constantly kept talking to me after that and I thought maybe she was indeed intersted in me and I need to just get to know her better and win over her. My second mistake

Over the course of the next few months we've hung out a lot and talked and got to know each other better, I've asked her out a couple of times and a got a polite maybe every time and yet I stuck around trying to get her to say yes (My third mistake)

Eventually, I said fuck it and told her how I felt (My fourth mistake, It's game over for me from here on). She pulled out the classic

Let's be friends

I then stopped initiaing all kinds of interaction with her but she saw the weakness in me and used me perfectly. I was her emotional tampon. I was that friend who she could turn to when she is looking for attention and I still belived that I just needed to be a friend and win her heart eventually. She even had the audacity to say that she is the one who is always starting interaction with me (Bitch, I asked you out like 4 times now).

All my friends saw what was happening and told me to forget her but I was too deluded. This went on for the few more months and we were good "friends" and that's when I discovered this goldmine of a sub.

I decided to end this "friendship" and decided to give her a proper closure(She has social anxiety and very few friends so I didn't have the heart to just ghost her) I called her and told her to meet me and I want to tell her something in person and of course she flaked that day. I said fuck it and ghosted her despite her texts and calls. But I felt bad about it the next day so I met her and ended the "friendship". She pleaded for me to stay as "friends" and said that she didn't know I liked her (Even though I told it to her face a few months back).

I wasted one year of my life behind this girl. I still have a little bit of oneitis for her. I turned down other girls as I was still chasing this unicorn. I still miss her everyday even though it's been two months since I talked to her. Everytime I see her with her other orbiters, I get jealous. It kills me to know that I will never live a long happy life with this unicorn. I am still in the recovery phase.

But I am only 19 years old. I still have a long life ahead of me. University is going rather well and I have a bright career ahead of me. I am going to start hitting the gym this summer. Life is good