Europe disaster with (narc?) GF

gideon_zotero · 2017-06-08T16:23:48+00:00

Why would you pay for a vacantion with someone yoi can't stand? Why would you be in a relationship with her?

Dude, you are the mess. She just mirrors your self hate back at you.

As for everyone else. Never follow a woman...never do a hughgrant and give her that floodlight and set up her theatrics.

Need2LickMuff · 2017-06-08T11:47:03+00:00

Her father commited suicide when she was 5

Since women want a guy who behaves like their father, I see a pretty grim future for you OP.

Good luck with marrying someone with BPD (which she seems to have).

max_peenor · 2017-06-08T16:23:01+00:00

Came to the threat expecting to read about how OP was arrested for drugs. Instead read about typical attention whoring behavior.

I'm a strong believer that women grow into the resources they are afforded. Most men think this means money. In yours case, it was an almost infinite supply of drama attention.

Next. For her sake. She needs to find a strong tree to climb under. She will be a thousand times better off and so will you. And then consume the sidebar.

TheMensRealm · 2017-06-08T11:47:31+00:00

Dump her and call police if she uses violence against you. Talk to your parents about it first, make sure they understand before she tries to control them to her advantage.

MattyAnon · 2017-06-08T16:22:24+00:00

I've long suspected my GF of being a narc

Most women are deeply narcissistic by default... this one is probably worse than normal though.

Always talking trash on those around us, my friends, etc.

Tell her to shut up and not trash talk your friends. Don't stand for this from anyone. If you're putting up with this just to get laid, soon you'll have neither friends nor sex.

-Raging text arguments. She's say super hurtful things that didn't make any sense (only to her), only to have her apologize to me 3 hours later when I'd cut contact.

Read up about BPD. You have a very serious problem on your hands here. This was your big red flag warning. Pay it heed.

, she's only fit 4/10 or so.

Err.... why are you bothering?

t. She's so negative and only wants to do things that will give her narcissitic supply (e.g - hire a photographer for $500 to do a photoshoot of her/us instead of using that money to goto another destination). When I talk sense into her, she says, 'you just don't understand value.' Rich coming from someone who is fully supported by me and her parents in the past.

No, she's right. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND VALUE. I agree with her. This woman has zero value, yet you are committed to her. You do not understand your own value, you overinflate hers.

The night before the photoshoot,

You agreed to that shit?

I ended up walking in on her cutting her wrists in the hotel bathroom. She definitely just wanted attention, as it was one cut and she was waiting for me to walk in.

've wasted around $2k on non-refundable flights/tours, and will waste another $1-1.5k on a flight back. I'm ending our trip early.

Tell her you're flying back then go have your own holiday. Enjoy your freedom.

Do not be alone with this woman ever again. Wrist slashing for attention? She'll be making a false legal claim against you next.

One of the hardest parts is that my family is so psyched to be having grandkids and seeing us get married

This is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. It is YOUR life. Your parents wouldn't want their grandkids to have a psychotic mother who bans them from the kids' lives.

Adamn27 · 2017-06-08T14:41:32+00:00

I ended up walking in on her cutting her wrists in the hotel bathroom.

Jeez man. Run like hell. I had a narc GF before but this is something... I cannot find words.

Leave her.

Conceited-Monkey · 2017-06-08T16:23:18+00:00

By point #2 of your post, the "eject" button started flashing and beeping. Why do you stick around for the plane crash?

bearinfoxhole · 2017-06-08T16:25:38+00:00

You are the bread winner, you pay and you earn the right to decide. Fuck any woman who thinks a paying man owes something to her.

SlippinJimmii · 2017-06-08T11:14:32+00:00

Redeeming thing here is you did whats best for yourself at the end. Keep looking forward as this may be a tough ride for the next few weeks but it only gets better. Focus on yourself and getting where you want to be gl

Honduran · 2017-06-08T14:51:41+00:00

How many red flags did you need to see, OP? Jesus.

Marsupian · 2017-06-08T15:47:21+00:00

She has a problem that you are not qualified to fix. That would also be my line when breaking up "I'm not qualified to help you with your problems, please seek professional help. I hope you find happiness. Bye." She will likely stalk you and try to mess with you so protect yourself, record everything and be prepared to get a restraining order before she does to fuck with you. When she contacts either ignore or ask for proof that she is under treatment. She will also contact your family, work and friends so be prepared to deal with that as well.

You staying with someone you dislike and takes this much energy and resources from you shows that you also have a problem. Either you lack self respect, abundance mentality or you have some self hatred inside you.

Don't mind the money, it taught you a valuable lesson and was 100% worth it. Now start fixing yourself.

RP_Scotsman · 2017-06-08T17:01:27+00:00

I had an LTR exactly like this, up to and including the pseudo-suicide attempt. That was the final straw for me. I had been brushing things under the carpet and in denial up until then, hoping things would get better.

Get out of there. I did and have not looked back. My life is so much healthier now.

Don't worry about the sunk costs. Chalk it up as another (painful) lesson and look to a bright future without this harridan holding you back.

pirateninj4 · 2017-06-08T17:46:56+00:00

You're a bitch. Get out of that relationship or kiss your manhood good bye.

RibRack · 2017-06-08T17:59:14+00:00

Lots of solid advice in this thread. I personally have been in many relationships with a narc, and I figured out it was due to a lack of self respect and worth for my self. Go out, find your self worth and self respect, because putting up with her shit clearly says that you don't respect yourself. Dump her ass, burn the bridge, and start your real life. Your parents will understand if you tell them straight up, and deliver the truth to them in a decisive manor. What ever she does to her self after that, you do not own. If you're that worried, go to France, join the French foreign legion (lol)

Throwawaysteve123456 · 2017-06-08T18:07:36+00:00

borderline personality, not narc.

travtrigs · 2017-06-08T18:22:08+00:00

What does "narc" mean in this context? Doesn't seem like you're referring to her as being a DEA agent.

Edit: sorry, read the comments and answered my own question. Narcissist.

DadOnDabs · 2017-06-08T19:11:18+00:00

Well at least you're smart enough to end things. Good job OP.

newName543456 · 2017-06-08T20:28:40+00:00

Her father commited suicide when she was 5.

Pretty telling.

Probably too much for you (and vast majority of guys) to handle.

ThroatPoka · 2017-06-08T20:36:22+00:00

Is this a call for help? You're posting in TRP, so I'm assuming you're attempting to unplug or, at the very least, you know what we're about. If either of those statements are true, then you should know better.

Man up and dump that leech, dude. She clearly provides ZERO value (beyond sex, perhaps), and from how you describe her, she sounds unstable. You don't date crazy, you fuck crazy - that's it.

Stop being a little bitch and either set her straight and tell her to get a fucking job, or walk away - I would choose the latter.

HappyScribe · 2017-06-08T22:44:03+00:00

I've wasted around $2k on non-refundable flights/tours, and will waste another $1-1.5k on a flight back.

Nah, you've saved yourself a fortune. If it wasn't for this trip you'd be getting married ($20k minimum), then after having kids, you'd learn what she was really like, divorce her and be paying alimony forever. This vacation was an investment.

MentORPHEUS · 2017-06-08T23:08:28+00:00

People are telling you to go home and pack her belongings. CHECK YOUR LOCAL LAWS regarding tenancy and eviction. If she's lived there more than 30 days she may have rights as a tenant, and unilaterally violating them will bring YOU legal trouble and complicate your side of affairs.

In California, one must go through a 60 day eviction process. If she has committed violence against you, you might be able to get a 3-day move out order and temporary protective order pending a hearing.

DON'T just pack and/or remove her belongings without becoming aware of housing laws in your area.

H42 · 2017-06-08T11:54:39+00:00

This one will do everything possible to keep you tied to her. And she will thrash your reputation to all your friends and family.

You need an audio or video recorder whenever you are with her alone. And from now on you need to be alone with her the minimum time possible.

She sounds like the type to beat her face with a door and call the cops to have you arrested. Be alert, be careful and completely GTFO ASAP.

Title	Europe disaster with (narc?) GF
Author	QuantifiedHyperbole
Upvotes	15
Comments	33
Date	June 8, 2017 11:03 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6g098j/europe_disaster_with_narc_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/europe-disaster-with-narc-gf.43831 https://theredarchive.com/post/43831

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