Stop Seeking Validation from EVERYONE

dr_warlock · 2017-06-27T03:08:56+00:00

This is what I call "Inner Frame" ==> preventing emotional induction (external and internal induction, internal in this case). Despite our attempts here in this sub to teach each other to break from the herd mind, be independent individuals, and never interact with women in anything that doesn't benefit you, our mind is not designed that way.

(most people) You are programmed to do what it takes to 'fit in'. You are programmed to rely emotionally on each other and their opinions. You are built to be superior to women, but programmed to use that superiority to further serve women. When your subconscious mind believes you've followed these 'rules', you feel validated, but when it perceives that you're not fitting in, losing social allies, or risk losing a woman's approval and presence, it breaks it's own 'inner frame' by invoking a spike of anxiety. It's the emotional equivalent of someone in a position of authority scolding you for not conforming to their ideal vision for you. Stay in line, boy. Survival, reproduction, and going with the flow are all your subconscious cares about. It does not give a shit about your emotional well being and happiness.

If you do what everyone else does, you'll get what everyone else has. If you want to be anything better than the average man, if you never want to fall victim to a female, you have to ignore this spike of anxiety and cause 'trouble'. Transcend your programming. The hardest part is knowing when you're encountering clear injustice ie beta shaming, AMOGing, and herd mind shaming, and when you're over reacting. The best place is to start with women, that's the biggest enemy for male independence and advancement. Your biology mentally cripples you to serve them to some extent at your expense.

Assuming you're like most new comers here, "Just be yourself" will get you the same beta results you've been getting. Given that, the best methodology is to go out of your way not to help females. Don't open any doors. Don't move too much out of the way for them to walk. Never stop to help women with car trouble. Never do favors. Don't help a woman pick up things she dropped. Never react to any bad news you hear come out of a woman's mouth. Ignore any woman's tears no matter what the cause (including your girlfriend). Never give up your seat for one. Never interfere if a female is involved in a fight, let her get hit. Don't even call the police for one. If a woman is not doing her part, make sure to bring attention to it, even in front of others. Demand gas, cash, grass, or ass from any woman (even a 'friend') if she wants a ride. Never buy a woman anything, no gifts, no drinks, no flowers, no cards, nothing.

No hate. No yelling. No insults. No rudeness. NO EXPLANATION OR JUSTIFICATION. Stay calm. For the most part I'm literally saying do nothing.

If you think some of this is overreacting, that's because some of it is. That's the point. You can't yet differentiate between 'overreacting' and justified. So you practice ignoring your provider/protective and other beta-like instincts and saying no to a woman by going full-out. This is to form new habits, literally reprogramming your mind. Then as you get experience in this, you slowly learn not only to differentiate between overreacting and justified, but also how to engage. You can be kind or do slight 'favors' without being weak (i.e. propping the door open).

The first problem you will encounter other than that initial spike of anxiety for offending a woman is shaming by women and witnesses, which spikes more anxiety. Don't react or justify yourself in any way. Nothing bad happens. 'Asshole' and 'misogynist' to most people just means not going out of your way to help women or give her special privileges (Look up the 'benevolent sexism' study for proof).

The second 'issue' you will encounter is you'll notice some women will stop talking to you or stranger girls will ignore you. This is a good thing, they did you a favor. Women that only thought of you as something for money, validation, and favors -- an orbiter, drop themselves out. Their whole intention was to get something out of you 'cuz vagina and they sense that you're not a guy whose gonna give it to them. Bye bye sweetheart.

Again, No hate. No yelling. No insults. No rudeness. NO EXPLANATION OR JUSTIFICATION. Stay calm. This doesn't mean ignore women completely. You can say "hi" or smile. Don't walk around with an angry face and try to be 'alpha'.

This will be uncomfortable, that's because it's meant to be (biologically speaking). If you wanna reach the heights, you must not let your programming jerk you around. Reprogram your mind one act at a time.

Inner frame: preventing (internal) emotional induction.

The philosophical 'inner frame bible': http://www.redpilldoctor.com/why-you-should-read-meditations-by-marcus-aurelius-74-quotes/

DeathToTheZog · 2017-06-27T07:09:09+00:00

It is so liberating when you finally just get so sick of the worrying. I finally just flipped my perceived weaknesses into my strength. I own up to my faults.

I used to be so sick. I mean physically sick from worrying 24/7 what someone else may think. Or about trying to fit into someone elses mold.

Fuck that shit. Never again.

NeoreactionSafe · 2017-06-27T11:34:40+00:00

Monkey See, Monkey Do

There was a guy named Rene Girard who devoted an entire lifetime of work studying the effects of imitation:

http://www.iep.utm.edu/girard/

Girard’s fundamental concept is ‘mimetic desire’. Ever since Plato, students of human nature have highlighted the great mimetic capacity of human beings; that is, we are the species most apt at imitation. Indeed, imitation is the basic mechanism of learning (we learn inasmuch as we imitate what our teachers do), and neuroscientists are increasingly reporting that our neural structure promotes imitation very proficiently (for example, ‘mirror neurons’).

However, according to Girard, most thinking devoted to imitation pays little attention to the fact that we also imitate other people’s desires, and depending on how this happens, it may lead to conflicts and rivalries. If people imitate each other’s desires, they may wind up desiring the very same things; and if they desire the same things, they may easily become rivals, as they reach for the same objects. Girard usually distinguishes ‘imitation’ from ‘mimesis’. The former is usually understood as the positive aspect of reproducing someone else’s behavior, whereas the latter usually implies the negative aspect of rivalry. It should also be mentioned that because the former usually is understood to refer to mimicry, Girard proposes the latter term to refer to the deeper, instinctive response that humans have to each other.

Ultimately the SJW is a "competitive virtue signaler" who is both imitating as well as a rival with others in trying to "Virtue Signal" the Blue Pill mythology.

That's why it becomes a downward spiral into "Political Correctness" because the competition is based in a rivalry of Nice Guys™ trying to "out nice" each other.

The Red Pill is to be real, the Blue Pill is to be fake.

SquirtGunKelly_5 · 2017-06-27T02:20:14+00:00

Confidence is key and self reflection is the best approach to attaining it. Like the body of this post!

empatheticapathetic · 2017-06-27T14:29:23+00:00

Fucking truth!

And when you're in this state of validation seeking, it's almost like the world seeks out your weakness. People sense it without consciously knowing and will shit all over you. After deploying to Iraq and Afghan I came home more apathetic. The mindset was mixed. It was good because you don't give a fuck about much. Nothing can really get your blood going. Nothing really scares you. But then I got a 'normal' job and became a broken person for many years almost.

Finally starting to get back to a real headspace where I'm not seeking validation and don't feel so afraid of the world. It was like it all backfired. The mindset of IDGAF backfired and it became I give too many fucks.

Lifting helped some but for me what's really helped was getting back into MMA. It's far deeper than the physical. You start to realize people don't know what the fuck they're doing for the most part in life. They're all scared. They aren't looking at you or what you're doing, they're worried you're looking at them, judging them and what they're doing instead.

MayThePepeBeWithYou · 2017-06-27T22:30:19+00:00

Social media has played a huge part in this. At any moment, a man can go on Facebook and write a status about whatever decision he made or opinion he has and get near-instant feedback via comments.

What this man doesn't realize is that by doing this he will do things based solely on what other people think, making him appear pathetic and unable to live his own life without the validation of others.

I believe social media to be one of the biggest reasons for men's downfall in confidence today, especially when it comes to your ideas about validation. It makes them weak.

V1SoR · 2017-06-27T05:52:01+00:00

Only women and immature guys seek validation from other people. An adult man doesn't need it. If you think everyone feels the same, you're not mature yet. I stopped needing anyone's validation in my mid 20s, not because I wasn't getting it (I was, even too much), but because a self-sufficient man doesn't need it to feel complete.

Ericgzg · 2017-06-27T15:00:44+00:00

Was watching American gods and a character said something to the effect of "we cannot choose the path our senses show us but it is a path we must follow, all the way to the end". So accept the path you are shown and follow it in confidence, that is all anyone can do.

moosemc · 2017-06-27T17:09:02+00:00

Yeah, pay for your own parking.

RmX93 · 2017-06-27T10:58:41+00:00

So you are saying that even if your theory is not right you shouldn't believe what others try to explain you, you just keep your word? I met so many dumb people saying same bullshit over and over again and they dont want to listen the facts because they will feel beta if somone change their minds.

sickofallofyou · 2017-06-27T14:29:09+00:00

Validation comes from within.

antihostile · 2017-06-27T11:28:14+00:00

Stop seeking validation from anyone.

Baltais · 2017-06-27T15:28:16+00:00

If we remain dependent on external factors to feel approved of, then we will always be emotionally vulnerable.

2comment · 2017-06-27T17:22:39+00:00

Validation is a currency that ceases to have value in and of itself; like many desires it sinks to monopoly money for those who've seen past it. It becomes a valuable tool to manipulate situations and people or to prevent being manipulated.

Xiphos462 · 2017-06-28T13:54:31+00:00

Relevant.

https://youtu.be/rd3yeX1-SaM

brotherhood-of-man · 2017-06-27T18:56:13+00:00

Especially from men.

I have a healthy relationship with every woman around me. I don't care about their existence and opinions. And they respect me.

But men are always trying to fuck with me. Constant shit tests, AMOGing attempts, etc.

I believe it's because I see men as natural friends, and value their opinions.

kealh · 2017-06-28T22:54:39+00:00

I have had experienced this during my years in college. Seeking validation from my peers. All I find is rejection. It took me a while to stop caring what others think of me and boy, does it feels so good to be free. I literally feel ascended and when I look at other people in their on cliche circle jerking each other. I get myself a good laugh and move forward.

aanarchist · 2017-07-03T03:22:52+00:00

inner work comes first though, cuz i know way too many people that believe in every deluded little feeling they have and basically false flag themselves into the grave. truth is objective, so to be able to have true lasting confidence in yourself, your intuition, instincts and experiences, you have to first align yourself with reality and destroy any blue pill programming you have so that you can see life through an objective lens. the red pill isn't about becoming a narcissist or a sociopath, it's about setting yourself free.

11bbpw · 2017-06-27T02:18:33+00:00

Did you at least clean up after this mental masturbation? Good hygiene is a thing.

Title	Stop Seeking Validation from EVERYONE
Author	fluidmechanics22
Upvotes	579
Comments	37
Date	June 27, 2017 2:05 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6jpoqu/stop_seeking_validation_from_everyone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-seeking-validation-from-everyone.44308 https://theredarchive.com/post/44308

Comments